Long Mozzarella Poems
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There are many items in an Italian deli.
Numerous meats and cheeses are a delicacy.
Anyone can see several types of salami.
There are plenty of delicious things for you and me.
With breads and rolls, Prosciutto, Cappicolo, Coteghino,
everything they have there makes a beautiful scene.
The Italians have what you need for a submarine.
Olive salad, pasta salad, any kind of cheese,
one can find it in the deli; anything can please.
If you like Italian cheese, then you are not alone.
There are many like mozzarella and provolone.
No one starves inside an Italian deli.
When hungry at lunchtime, it’s the place to be!
Here are the ways to pronounce the three types of cold cuts mentioned in line 5:
Prosciutto=(pro-SHOOT)
Cappicolo=(gabba-GOAL)
Coteghino=(gitta-GEEN)
And so it begins, please pour me a Pimms
For today I’ve been told I am pregnant with twins
Aged seventy two how can this be true
the test has proved positive, what the hell did I do
I sat next to a fella and we ate mozzarella
Such a pleasant old man underneath my umbrella
When I sat on the lap of this handsome old chap
We held hands as we sang; did this cause the mishap
Drinking vino and beer inhibitions disappear
On turning around he’d become Richard Gere
No wonder it began, my frolicking, my fun
For an officer and a gentleman had always been the one
My memory now faded as to bed I am persuaded
For a date with Richard Gere should never be evaded
But waking up alone in my pink boudoir at home
Did this really happen, am I twin less on my own
My doorbell starts to ring I am hearing someone sing
“Hello, is it me you’re looking for”
For its Lionel who is singing as he’s knocking on my door
And so it begins again - different name - ends the same!
9th February 2019
Contest: And So It Begins
Sponsor: Line Gauthier
Hon mention
Contest Mid Feb 2019
Sponsor Brian Strand
speckled snow and bootprints,
French coffee sips, tire-treads,
leftover leaves like birdy wings.
upside-down pizza, for such
an occasion, slips from cast iron.
the blending of sausage balls,
pepperoni, baby bellas, onion,
jalapeno, parmesan, mozzarella,
provolone, seasoned sauce
and browned crust, unlike the classic -
a finger kiss satisfaction. drip drip
drip of icicles forming, branches
covered in powdered confection.
a snowball, formed by my honey,
in freezer, for a keepsake. realizing
the importance of commas.
in other words the snowball’s in
the freezer, not my honey.
he chats it up about work.
Any foodie on the brink
Of getting moody thinks
Of the dear dairy panacea
The culinary kinks
The cultural links
Gourmet high jinx
Of no.. not Cullen skink
CHEESE
As drinks clink then sink
Where the nods & the winks
Go to the food of the Gods
The stuff that really really stinks
CHEESE
A noble global endeavour
Arty farty dolcelatte party
Comte & cheddar
Smutty nutty double header
CHEESE
Palette caged by a rare
Cave aged Gruyere
Who can forget..appetite whet
Heat light stand manned..expands..
Milky glue or is it silky Moo Goo
Fanned..hands pulling strands
Eat not..planned fondue
Best damned bet
Always get a Raclette
CHEESE
Prouder of Gouda
Or louder Parmesan fan
Even when its powder?
Tilting to the built in love
For Stilton.. never wilting
Hard the calling card
Or more a Roquefort sort
Taught soft held aloft
French can’t bench moulds
Aristocratic blue vein
Dramatic wench holds court
Emphatic stench & stain
CHEESE
Whatever floats your boat
Maybe Goat gets your vote
Or those in the know
Gloat..chose sheep & Manchego
CHEESE
Young or well hung
Given time in the cellar
But won’t sneer at Paneer
Mozzarella can be stellar
Even give a damn
About dear Madame Edam
CHEESE
If you're of that whining ilk
Got that dining disease
Opining it’s just mouldy milk
Having a dig..you big tease…
Well won’t try to appease
CHEESE
Wary of the not rated
Scary squirting lube
You squeeze with ease
Flirting fairy out of a tube
Ill fated.. pre grated or
Diced into a nice cube
CHEESE?
Or drastic vices
Plastic elastic slices
Could go for Dairy Lea
Fell under the Babybel spell
Or pray tell maybe
Its Le Vache qui Rit
CHEESE?
Always a winning wheeze
Ideal at the beginning
Or end of a meal
No ratty ways of thinning
Natty diets lose to fatty riots
Choose ways of sinning
A ruse to amuse..
MORE CHEESE PLEASE
He says grinning
P.S If eating cheese before bed
Gives you a crappy nightmare
So what if you have fed
On cheese in these dreams
No scrappy schemes in your head
Led to days with rays of sunbeams
Teams of happy memes instead
Well it seems only fair
I sweep the kitchen again.
The crumbs are back.
I sweep the kitchen again.
At midnight, I hear indistinct noises.
That I only recognize as pizza crust sounds.
The crust sings a song.
Singing about how pepperoni is so overrated.
Crust is delicious! Delicious! Delicious!
I think it’s just the psychosis kicking in.
I don’t want him to win.
This crust made of hardened dough.
He survived the oven, that I know.
But being thrown away?
After being burnt all day?
No way!
I still hear crumbs.
I wasted another day.
Sweeping.
Maybe next time…
I'll eat the crust too.
Forget the mozzarella, or the cheddar.
I am something better!
I am more than the final bite.
I am the one that gives smiles of delight.
Eat me, or else I’ll disturb your sleep.
Around your house, I will creep.
Eat me, or else…
I sweep the kitchen one more time.
Gather your ingredients, it’s time to cook,
Follow these steps, like reading a book.
Two tablespoons of olive oil, bacon four strips,
Or mushrooms sliced, for vegan tips.
One onion, one carrot, diced up nice,
Two celery stalks, and garlic cloves thrice.
One pound of beef mince, or lentils instead,
Both hearty choices, to keep you well-fed.
Heat the oil in a pan, bacon or mushrooms to fry,
Golden and crisp, or soft, it’s time to say hi.
In go the veggies, soften them well,
Garlic joins in, with its fragrant spell.
Add the beef mince, or lentils, brown them all around,
Tomato purée, two tablespoons found.
Two cans of tomatoes, chopped and sweet,
A teaspoon of honey or maple syrup, to make it complete.
Preheat your oven, two hundred degrees,
Fan or gas six, whichever you please.
Layer the ragu, then pasta sheets,
Repeat the process, until it’s complete.
Crème fraîche, one cup, mixed with water, half a cup,
Or cashew cream for vegans, to fill your cup.
Mozzarella, two cups, and Parmesan, one cup,
Or vegan cheese and nutritional yeast, to top it up.
Bake for thirty minutes, till golden and bubbling,
Serve with fresh basil, it’s oh so humbling.
Enjoy your lasagna, a dish so divine,
Perfectly layered, every single time.
The logical possibility to jump over the moon,
make sense when considered its cheese eaten with a spoon.
The same cheese became famous by Mozart composing Cinderella,
melted in on bread called Mozzarella.
The milks fat has its meaning by matter of form,
as one can pull it gently in its use to be torn.
The essence of man by Plato is conceptual confusion,
Aristotle’s answer was the rational animal conclusion.
The death is one of two things and metaphysical,
hypothetic nature in grammarless forms of being radical.
Abstract concepts to the point of phrase,
indefinable logic to stay confused in philosophical pace.
Nothing divided by nothing to multiply the zero,
trading and selling golden mirrors portraying the hero.
The hypnotic ability of linear verbal communication,
overwritten melodrama and its cultured sensation.
Caffeine clicking clocks in commercial wars,
to safe the astounding audience aspiration from taws.
Intensified intuitive balloons matching the color of the eye,
illustrative animated slices with the cherry on top pie.
Vulnerable velocity by vanity loosing lips largely,
absurdity with distinction established ambiguity fiercely.
Falsity and truth before sense and nonsense,
thinking one knows what is not known in essence.
Philosophical poetry may be with or without rhyme,
but it is never without reasons of confession in time.
Ever since Mr. Dutile asked us to sandwich our desks together, I haven't
been able to sleep or eat. My mom made her famous crisp lasagna the
other night but I didn't eat a bite. I went to my room feigning a stomach
ache then wrote your name all over my binder. I can feel my cheeks hot
as I write this but I must say it or combust. You make my heart melt like mozzarella and when you smile at me, you make me feel like the prettiest
girl alive. I know I am not Julie Panuccia with her revlon lipstick but I was hoping, you felt this way too.
So here it goes, "Would you go to the prom with me?"
Before you say no, I must ask you one thing, "When you slipped me that silly note along with your hewed pencil, was that you making a pass?
I figured maybe ?
Soooo, if they answer is yes then on prom night I will ask the D.J.
to play "My Eyes Adored You" it was playing the day I ran
into you on talent night. I almost dropped my books at your feet
I believe I fell in love that da. I hope you feel the same way too
Sergio Valente.
Your friend
Loretta Beata Lucia Santaricchia
Feb 21, 2019
I went to a cheese and wine party on Saturday,
where huge platters of cheese were on display.
There was Gorgonzola and creamy white Brie,
I devoured huge chunks with a glass of Chablis.
Danish Blue, Mozzarella and Swiss Emmental,
of course I had to try a sample of them all!
I declined Edam and Gouda, I find them too waxy -
and the last time I ate them I was sick in the taxi!
Soft creamy Camembert and blue Roquefort,
went down a treat with a glass of vintage port.
Crumbly Cheshire and Cheddar were so divine,
and tasted heavenly with red Beaujolais wine.
I’d chomped through all of the Stinking Bishop,
our hostess had to restock the whole dish up!
Then I munched little cubes of Monterey Jack -
if my doctor saw me he’d have a heart attack!
When our host carried in a blue Stilton in a truckle,
I loosened a notch on my now straining belt buckle!
I admit blue cheese can smell like men's sweaty socks
but ripe Stilton and crackers, this cheese simply rocks!
Write a poem about Cheese Contest
Sponsored by Barry Stebbings
FICTION POEM FOR CONTEST
11/12/18
This is Mr. Squeaky, mouse reporter,
squeaking to you from the Swiss cheese quarter,
where the crime bosses will decide the price
you'll have to pay for a provolone slice.
My modest size lets me to infiltrate
the safe house where they will decide the fate
of decent queso lovers like you and I -
oh no - they want to restrict the supply!
Don "Blockhead" Cheddarino, barks and glares
at an aging figure, caught unawares,
Gouda Bidini, aged not to perfection,
"Our common goal, deplete the deli section."
What will they do with the power they seize?
Good people, they will take away our cheese!
They'll attack all of us midnight snackers.
They'll take away the brie for our crackers!
This, friends and viewers, is no baloney -
no more cheddar for our macaroni!
We'll take a bite, and we'll sit and stare
when our grilled-cheese sandwich is filled with air.
They're going to agree to a treaty:
no more mozzarella for baked ziti.
We need something stretchy on pizza pie -
a serious case for the FBI.
Better bring in J Cheddar Hoover fast.
My appetite's going nuts - I won't last.
This has been your intrepid mouse reporter,
and aspiring exquisite cheese importer.
Good night and good luck. You think this is so dumb?
Wait 'til you see me in my next po-em.