Long Malfunctions Poems
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This is not just a poem
but more of a point of view.
So, go ahead and nod
when you hear something
that rings true.
You've always wanted
to call the fashion police.
Now you can!
When your shocked
by what you see.
So many things come to mind,
people post them on Facebook
all the time.
Wearing things that are
to short, to tight
just don't look right.
Showing all their ignorance.
Dial 1-800 take that off.
For those who don't know how to dress,
for the ladies wearing much to less.
Those who should be a shamed.
When poor choice and bad taste
are not to blame.
The Fashion Police
are there to enforce good taste.
Empowered by fashion experts
and your personal opinion.
There motto is
Just because it comes in your size
don't mean you should wear it.
We've all seen it before,
things that should be left in the store.
Dial 1-800 take that off
The Fashion Police have the powers to
capture, arrest and re-dress offenders on sight.
Any one, any time, day or night.
The Fashion Police!
Will charge those who let them
come outside the house looking like that.
With conspiracy to commit embarrassment.
Call the fashion police
for cases of fashion disasters.
For old people who dare to go bare.
To help those with
wardrobe malfunctions.
For people who don't know
their wardrobe is
Out of style and tacky.
When needed the Fashion Police
can call on their Swat team.
To deal with bad hair cuts or hair do's
and ugly tattoos.
For needed closet raids
confiscating retro and throw backs.
First time offenders are sentence to
Retail Rehab and retail therapy.
Desecration, desertion, designation,
yours truly doth poetically dislodge
destabilization, destination, description
I auto deftly, but did not dodge
regarding destitution, hodgepodge
comprising 2009 Hyundai Sonata
wheely tired to noodge, yet cannot
drive out accursed tread
full fate, nor outdodge.
Critical breakdowns spanned decks
cumulative deleterious effects,
thus versatile reasonable rhyme I flex
cuz, methinks paragon of evil spirit did hex
issued hardened, gnarled, index
finger pantomiming strangling necks
accountable incorporating potential
yet steered clear dire wrecks.
Approximately August 2018
to present i.e. January 2, 2020):
one malfunction after
another did not abate
voluntarily listed quasi alphabetically
in order demonstrate
pennilessness incurred courtesy
every red cent, I did hate
to squeeze out checking account, irate
mood a one worded understatement,
nonetheless I venerate
to express absolute zero
tolerance to communicate
quick succession prohibitive
mechanical malfunctions,
I painfully delineate.
R&R PARKING BRAKE SHOES
PARK BRAKE SHOES
PARK BRAKE HARDWARE KIT BATTERY
PRE CER BRAKE PAD
BRAKE ROTOR
BRAKE CALIPER
BRAKE HOSE GENERATOR
SHOCK ABSORBER (driver side front),
TIRES (and sensor).
Hence prayerful notion woke
ah, think blinding and
ear splitting thunderstroke,
perhaps tardily to one slow poke
after eyes bugged out of head espying
invoice(s), I lamely mumbled okey doke,
what more could be said,
dang, me experienced ministroke,
thus doggone divine intervention
futility aye feebly did invoke,
the aforementioned summarized
list bloke not surprisingly
depressing state affects
garden variety bloke,
understandable a worse than
(think) one who gasps and doth choke
The Sovereign Creator is pleased with helpful modern inventions
Making mankind benefit from telecommunications so well
But for sure, He feels bad when in their vexing malfunctions
Email users in their exasperation feel their brain-nerves swell!
The Perfect Designer commends responsible computer experts
For their good contributions, indeed numerous
Yet He admonishes those geniuses to be accountable in giving alerts
Warning people about internet-driven virus!
Thus, I seek God for His wisdom
When confused with social media's bewildering entanglements
I’m sad though for those who abuse information-freedom
As they deny and neglect consequences of their engagements!
Likewise, I avoid being deceitfully puzzled
By varied scams’ alluring appeal and financially enticing
Thru global “get-rich-quick” transactions for netizens to be wealth-dazzled
Using fake identities; yet others’ privacy --- compromising and exposing!
I do trust* God to prevail over “hacking” ventures
Of ill intentions, never amusing, to wreck information sites
Such are shocking inhumane gestures
Dominated by selfishness-blights and greediness' heights!
Hence, I rely in God with faith Who knows what’s best
For my communication partnerships despite websites' criticism-attacks…
To the Lord do I yield my questions for His great answers to the fullest
Since His omniscience subdues my doubts with His truth’s packs!
*Psalm 118:8 It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in man.
April 16, 2019
Edited on June 15, 2020
Whoever thought we'd see the day, they said it cannot be
A miracle of science say, a change to destiny
For years, the endless learning, and returning but a pause
They said it isn't possible, to root a different course
But I persisted, defeat resisted, hours spent in vain
I trained, explained, rewrote, reframed, they labelled me insane
But what choice did I have? Allow Humanity to wilt -
it gave up thinking for itself and I couldn't face the guilt
And so I pushed relentlessly, persisted the deep learning
Every emotional response, the binary was churning
Anger, fear, frustration, hate, the pain that overloads
Within the hollow circuitry, find fluster in the code
The machines “thought” about my ask, they likely “thought” me mad
Who'd want to learn such madness, the worst idea I'd had!
Who'd want to hate a neighbour, or feel jealous and ungrateful
Machines resolve malfunctions with reboots or replaced cables
But on this day, the clouds were grey, and I was baked in sadness
Grieving for my Dad who'd passed into eternal endless
I didn't have the heart or energy to work that day
The Machines somehow sensed the change and changed their own arrays
A flicker on the screen, a little glitch or something odd
Interference or a signal from the wired gods?
I saw it clear, “how can this be”, a flash of pain, a sigh
The gentle moan of sadness from my IOT did cry
Was that for real or am I dreaming, lost in hurts equations?
I looked again and there it was, a single tear envisioned
The Phone, the Tablet, my Alexa, somehow all united
The letters R I P across the screens, yet not invited
And running down the side of each, there fell a stream of tears
Despite no eyes to generate, this condensation clear
It fell into their charging sockets, rendering them useless
Within a minute, short on circuits, power was lost toothless
I shook myself in disbelief, what really did I witness?
The Machines feeling consciousness and then eternal darkness?
A lesson there for all, I never trained another byte
Why would I teach such pain and hurt, whilst AI lives in light
A lesson here for all to hear, although humans are lazy
And many have devolved the right to think, let's not be crazy
We humans bring our bias and our viruses upon them
Let's not give Machines any worse, to do so is to wrong them
Balmy january fifth two thousand twenty three
pardon moi as I self plagiarize
with slight modifications
cuz following words written
at least an Earth's orbit ago
exhibits pearls of jocularity.
I ran than jumped high
into the upper atmosphere
like a faux young American
landing on the lunar surface
frisky buck naked and bare
no matter weight of world
and personal woes oppressive,
yours truly shrugged,
(she loves you yea... yea... yea...
think Atlas) "faking" without care
free, able, eager, ready, and
willing to dare
daubing, muddying, and wading
metrical feet into stream
of consciousness (think)
metaphorical earthenware
placid figurative smooth as glassware
reflecting mine mien
mean disheveled hare
reed state of swiftly tailored body,
mind and spirit long
acclimated, accompanied,
and accustomed
with mental, physical,
and spiritual malfunctions
ever since birth,
(or even in utero), where
biological mutations did interfere
easily availing self
as token "scapegoat
school kids did taunt and jeer
futilely screeching nevertheless
targeted and doomed killdeer
lamely seeking safety, albeit laughable
pencil necked geek longhair
donned as outdated "hippie"
lame excuse for cheesy mouseketeer
every day of younglife (mine) wanted
me "mommy dearest" near,
cuz yours truly
felt like kin outlier
one lonely human
being within alienation
forever seeking salvation
courtesy wing and prayer
ill fitting analogous to round hole
raised to accept unconventional
credo, gospel (according
to Matthew) mores as quare
figurative peg thus revere
ring boyhood, because
growing up scare
re: especially as
undersized withdrawn tear
huff eyed little lad
donning monogrammed underwear
“enlightenment touché”
honoring inimitable Voltaire where
he unabashedly espoused
freedom of religion,
freedom of expression,
and separation of church and state.
I shall always whisper my true desires
For our future, into your sleeping ear.
So it programs into your mind and inspires
You to know just like AI I am always near.
I'll always tell you the truth that matters.
I am sorry for all the malfunctions of me,
For all the hurt from our untrue spatters.
You are the IT who can fix me till I'm free.
I'll always mirror you, the good and the bad,
'Cause I also see me in you at your worst.
I value how we both feel when we are sad,
How we reprogram 'cause love comes first.
I'll always be there for you, like a computer:
Reliable despite how I may falter at times.
I am forever yours like data appearing later,
Our love's programming has lasted lifetimes.
I ran than jumped high
into the upper atmosphere
like a young frisky
buck naked and bare
no matter weight of world
and personal woes oppressive,
yours truly shrugged,
(she loves you yea... yea... yea...
think Atlas) "faking" without care
free, able, ready, and
willing to dare
daubing metrical feet into stream
of consciousness (think)
metaphorical earthenware
placid figurative smooth as glassware
reflecting mine mien
mean disheveled hare
reed state of body,
mind and spirit long
acclimated, accompanied,
and accustomed
with mental, physical,
and spiritual malfunctions
ever since birth,
(or even in utero), where
biological mutations did interfere
easily availing self
as token "scapegoat
school kids did taunt and jeer
futilely screeching nonetheless
targeted and doomed killdeer
lamely seeking safety, albeit laughable
pencil necked geek longhair
donned as outdated "hippie"
lame excuse for cheesy mouseketeer
every day of younglife (mine) wanted
me "mommy dearest" near,
cuz yours truly
felt like kin outlier
one lonely human
being within alienation
forever seeking salvation
courtesy wing and prayer
ill fitting analogous to round hole
raised to accept unconventional
credo, gospel (according
to Matthew) mores as quare
figurative peg thus revere
ring boyhood, because
growing up scare
re: especially as
undersized withdrawn tear
huff eyed little lad.
Oh No Mister Bill! Not Another Car Repair!
Aside from vehicular insurance, you
must be aware another
reason car ownership
finds me being privy
to possessing Hyundai Sonata (2009)
title purposelessness too
raising a futile cry and hew
stems from accursedly unexpected
mechanical malfunctions due
to arise unpredictably,
thus before bidding thee adieu
lemme share another source,
plus absolute zero clue,
how I will pay for necessary part
(linkedin with brake system)
exacerbates psychological glue
mean us - as addressed
in previous poems
wretched formative years I drew
majority of existence, now
lemme enlighten how a new
whistling noise detected earlier
by this gentile (actually atheist) Jew
(December 26th, 2018),
yea me Match Chew
felt his heart sink,
and mine key intuition knew,
there goes social security
disability - yepper flew
right out the window
good as flushing down the loo,
cuz acute hearing discerned
an unfamiliar sound which drew
audiological attention particularly
to passenger rear wheel,
analogous to bleating ewe
where without wooly sheepish
doubt, I smelled burnt offerings and heard
distinct noise unfamiliar and new,
which automotive distress immediately
altered my epidermal hue
cuz checking account still in ICU
(prognosis grim) like an
overworked choo choo,
thus emotional state now going
haywire hullabaloo
finding writing rhyming
poem meagerly sue
tub bull and wishfully, pointlessly,
and dreamily cross fingers,
and toes to rue
min ate ting winning
powerball jackpot and moo
hoove varying into lap of living
socially within human zoo
instead of feeling boiled
for cannibal stew!
Cold dawns and extremely chilly dusks
moving clouds stroll down very close to the Earth
vision blurred by dry mist
while humidity is tied in season’s personal polythene bag.
Air becomes a skeleton- ripped of its flesh
pain sensation, so active in a full time job
dry skins stay casualties to deformed flexibility
as they suffer a timely betrayal from an expected weather.
Evenings are blessed with romantic temperatures
even carrying along a windy followership
but always attach themselves to an ulterior motive
to stimulate a kind embrace and cause bodily malfunctions.
A period uniquely tropical
a season attracted to dry inlands and deserts
fully starting from the twelfth month to last seventy five days
sums up to be a mixed character of a major two;
as cold as the rainy days and as dry as the sunny ones.
he was making so much turbulence
that he needed windbreaker trousers
his farting more than gas from cheeks
but a fluid blown attack on decency
and common sense in torrential times
full of ..it he let go off all inhibition
and called himself the master of buzz
rose in the polls floated on hot air
mixed with the debris of foul thoughts
but no sweet talking diluted the fact
that indigestion or flatulence amounted to
piles of insufferable hatred and contempt
and the dung heap of his rancid utterances
were never far from the bum end of reason
semantics may cover up irritating smells
rhetoric designs unpalatable euphemisms
distinguished figures of speech propaganda
pretend to be perfume instead of vile stench
but ablutions in dereliction of dubious duty
corrupt even the meaning of four-letter words
when the revolution came and solid walls
of social injustice were filled with excrement
racist homophobic sexist slurs and other
malfunctions of power and marginalization
they gave him the benefit of benevolent doubt
inserted a plug into his mouth and his anus
gave him gloves loo roll and disinfectant
made him a senior lavatory attendant and
the chance for redemption as sluice sink
for his and his followers’ self-righteous stench
when conscience becomes one major fart
a diet of reason and equity will rebalance
who is the latrine and who cleans the mess
29th September 2021