Long Lay down the law Poems
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Mr Wiz, Munchkin Land
Be so kind to lend a hand...
Cartwheeling cottage? how daft is that
Landed quite safely, all level and flat
Some midget fellow said, who else heard that
I think ‘Wicked Westie’ might just have gone splat
Tin men and lions and blokes full of straw
Red shoes and rainbows and bricks on the floor
Witches determined to lay down the law
Little dog yapping and blue birds galore
Lion so scared he’s effectively tame
Geezer wants ticker inside his tin frame
The chap with a head full of straw wants a brain
Dorothy wants to go home... shame
Old men and wizards, one and the same
Thinks Dottie’s plight is a bit of a game
hidden away in a small secret room
Tells her, ‘Go forth and fetch me a broom’
But Dot knows a half decent witch from up north
This tale’s full of witches and she’s third or fourth
With witches from east and west done up like kippers
The North witch gives Dottie the west witch’s slippers
Dimwit companions, each a good fellow
Prancing about on a road painted yellow
Keep Dottie safe from that nasty grim reaper
Present to the wizard the requisite sweeper
And lo, he's impressed and he loudly applauds her
But this dodgy wizard’s a bit of a fraudster
Spouts loads of stuff about going home soon
But then he clears off in his hot air balloon
The lion got brave and the scarecrow got clever
The tin man’s new heart might well beat forever
Ain’t no pleasing Dottie, she can’t go home, never
Them slippers, said Northy, click em together
So she clicked them together, those slippers in red
There’s no place like home she repeatedly said
Sounds like she might have been right off her head
But then she wakes up and shes home in her bed
And so, Mr Wiz, this may be remiss
But what do you think...
Could you film this?
16 November 2018
It's your right to choose.
It's no love to lose.
Funny how life does go.
So, just say it's so.
Yes, she can't see it,
so step up and be it.
For one tender moment...
go on, embrace her -
you need to face her.
Feelings that you know -
not afraid to show.
When light does enter
deep in your center
where all of us glow.
Two hearts walk away,
so sad to say...
neither will say it.
No sense can sway it.
Becomes a cliche...
You just gotta
lay down the law
tell her, that's all.
Set aside your fear,
you should be so clear.
Time to take a chance
to claim your romance.
You've found your mate!
What you ought to do...
must see it all through.
It's your right to choose.
It's no love to lose.
Funny how life does go.
So, just say it's so.
Old Tom was wrinkled
His face full of care
A military blazer
He'd always wear
Tom was a fighter
He'd boxed in the ring
He had gone to war
He'd fought for his King
His medals with pride
He always wore
In the pub of an evening
He'd lay down the law
Every November
He went on parade
He remembered his comrades
As a green wreath he laid
He talked about them
With a tear in his eye
Though he held it all back
He'd not openly cry
But last November he wasn't there
In the pub where he sat just an empty chair
So we will hear his stories no more
Of the battles he fought in the great war
Though he was always cadging a drink
We'll miss that stubborn old fellow I think
Though his outside was hard he was soft inside
And his chair has stayed empty
Since the day that he died
Authority
Authority is a privilege
It is power mixed with rule
It’s control and domination
Oftentimes misused as tool
And when orders are not followed
When instruction is ignored
Then the charge will be defiance
Which will soon be underscored
For authority wants order
Yes, it will lay down the law
And expect your acquiescence
Whether or not given in awe
The subservient will prosper
When authority is fair
There will be no need for conflict
No dissension, no despair
Still authority is bias
Though much needed
It’s much scorned
But he who dares to disrespect it
Do not try it, you are warned!
Wendy Nipas
The gardener said once I’ve chopped down this tree
Perhaps I could tidy your bush for a fee
Where the girl hit him is covered in bandage
He’s stood in the dock charged with suggestive language
The gardener issued a not guilty plea
He said she had asked me to fell a big tree
But seemed to think I couldn't cope with just me
So I told her I had a big tool she should see
The judge pointed out that misplaced sexual chatter
In these modern times is a serious matter
Besides said the judge, once the tree had been downed
She asked you to work, not just stand around
But Judge, said the gardener, I’m not a linguist
I can’t speak like you because I’m not distinguished
Besides, when she said there’s a sign she wants hanging
I only said that might mean screwing and banging
I told her that later (and I’m not a fibber)
I might sow my seed when I get out my dibber
Don’t know what possessed her to go get a copper
When I was just standing there holding my chopper
Epilogue...
The judge said I’m going to lay down the law
(A young police woman tried not to guffaw)
I’ll hand you a sentence for what you have done
The girl shouted give him a really stiff one
The F-Bomb has been replaced
As the naughtiest word in the english language
By this new extremely naughty four letter word
Yup! You guessed it... SNOW!!!
The notorious S-Bomb!
Parents shudder when their wee one utters it in public
Oh the shame of it all
The parents try so hard to bring their kids up
As upstanding, polite, law abiding little fellows
And then this... they feel like total failures
“I don't give an S-Bomb!” the little guy shouts out at the mall
The parents cringed with embarrassment
Another time he was heard to yell out at McDonald's
“I hate these S-Bombing Chicken McNuggets”
So now you see, punishment is definitely in order
The parents had to lay down the law...
“Go to your S-Bombing room!
You are not allowed to play on your X-Box
For a whole S-Bombing week”!
© Jack Ellison 2014