Long Jokes Poems
Long Jokes Poems. Below are the most popular long Jokes by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Jokes poems by poem length and keyword.
I had a troubling dream one night, sweet Lady Liberty, shining bright
Standing proud in quiet grace, yet tears were streaming down her face
A country's strength lies in its folks, yet we oft' elect these proxy jokes
Vain leaders who pledge loyalty to wealth gained, not democracy
It makes no difference what's their side, the gulf between is far too wide
Wasting time with pointing fingers ... progress dies, corruption lingers
Their puerile quarrels make no sense - smoke screens for stark negligence
They CAN see paths to compromise, but only for those OTHER guys
And while they claim that all is well, our blessed country goes to hell
The peoples' voices, shot and skinned, while hope hangs twisting ...
In unchanged wind.
~ 1st Place ~ in the "It Really Gets Me Going" Poetry Contest, Kevin Shaw, Judge & Sponsor.
Lovesick Ollie Octopus
was feeling so terribly sad
He burst into floods of tears
and sobbed to his grandad
Grandad said now Ollie
will you please stop crying
The ocean is salty enough
that fact there’s no denying
Ollie begged grandad’s advice
he said Ollie just listen to me
You’ve got more than one heart
in fact you’re blessed with three
You’ve got eight long tentacles
which can act as loving arms
But all the female octopuses
are still oblivious to your charms
Grandad scratched his head
and said now listen sonny
You need to charm the ladies
with jokes - so make them funny
And if you get them laughing
as sure as sure can be
One's bound to fall in love with you
buy a joke book and just see
So Ollie purchased a joke book
and learned lots of fishy puns
But when he tried to use this line
about the ‘Codfather’, his date runs!
So Ollie joined an inter-net dating site
one called ‘plenty more fish in the sea’
He met a lonely octopus called Olivia
they’re now engaged and are truly happy
Thanks to Harlequin for the inspiration xx
06/13/21
Little darling, thy fada wears a garland of frowns,
The breda must explain their jokes to him across the night,
Worry devours his heart,his wallet emptied of light,
Fallen sistrins and soaring debts weigh him down.
Parasitic friends,the firewater that hauls him down,
Your mada' open relationship haunts him without end
You poor black girl,his paternal duty no hand can mend,
So little darling,mockingbird sings sagacity' gentle crown.
'' Motivate him'',cries nightingale,'' seek angels that heel,
Set calm and clear,boundaries firm and the rule of right,
Recall the days when Rastafari made his soul bright ,
Technicalized guidance cuts through despair and anger's steel.
Sistren and fada ,simmer down a little bit,sooth the strife,
And read The Holy Piby for blessings in holy Jah life''
Glossary of Useful non pompous English terms:
Fada-father
breda-brother
sistrins -sisters
mada--mother
Rastafari--the best religion
technicalized-professional
Holy Piby-Bible of Rastafari
Sometimes we like to do something for the story
we’ll tell afterwards. Buy a ’58 Pontiac, climb
a mountain in the dark. Lamar tells dirty jokes
with class, knows how to wait awhile, bend
a syllable and savor the laughter.
Absurd work, building a fence miles long
waste of steel and strong straight lodgepole pine
but even I don’t pine over it anymore. We’re
the government's children, fence is play and
livelihood also, but something cheerful as sunshine
for all the death it costs. There is so much life
a little death doesn’t matter. We stretch our muscles
the men feel like men, the women feel good too.
We stand around, watch a young rabbit one morning.
Classic Radio
I crave classic radio!
Boston Blackie and The Shadow;
Captain Midnight; Fibber Maggie and Molly;
Ace detectives fighting crime;
Or comedians making up limericks in rhyme.
Keep the TV for my husband to watch now
As I wear earphones, letting him wonder how
It is I’m laughing so much through every hour
As snarky sleuths and Groucho Marks make our
Pups wag their tails as my happy mood devours
The winter gloom that can pervade the room.
The old jokes I hear are so old they do seem new.
The shows span post-war-2 through the mid-fifties,
Before every home in America had TV’s,
So thus passed every hour by radios every night,
Waiting for suspense dramas or live boxing fights.
I was a baby in those days, hearing the Lone Ranger
On Silver riding masked into the sunset, a better
Man in an era when good differing bad was clear.
Still, it’s I who now, in this era, keeps a mask near.
You can search Classic Radio shows on the net,
For hours of escape in our chaotic days, and get
Your hands busy to do other things, for you
May exercise or write or clean or dream into
The imagination expansion power of Listening cues.
———————————————————————————————————————
c)sally Young eslinger 1/30/21
In the polished circumference of refinement
my wild longings dissolve like salt in warm rain.
Everything untamed--
the tremor beneath my ribs when your voice grazes the air,
the way my pulse forgets its manners at the scent of your skin--
quietly erased,
as if refinement were a gentle, merciless hand
wiping fog from a mirror until only the acceptable face remains.
Yet without these invisible walls,
how would desire survive its own blaze?
How would love keep from burning the rooms
we are allowed to share?
I stand three measured steps away,
laughing at the correct jokes,
while my blood writes your name in secret fire across my throat.
The emerald at my nostril catches light and lies--
a small green star pretending composure
while inside me a monsoon waits,
thundering against the cage of decorum.
At night the boundaries soften.
I trace the curve of your absence on cool sheets,
mouth shaping syllables too dangerous for daylight
If only once the circle would fracture--
let the raw, wet ache spill over,
flood the marble floors of restraint--
then perhaps my heart could speak your name aloud
without apology,
without vanishing into the elegant silence
that keeps us both alive
and slowly, exquisitely,
kill us.
FUNNY CANNY PUNNY
The great guy Punny
makes fun, yet funny.
Witty and canny.
Spontaneous laugh
much more than enough,
serious on bluff.
Jokes not to explain
Pun doesn’t go in vain,
but to entertain.
Humours to be spun,
not grave ! Cheerful pun.
Real joyous fun.
Sure to feel sick,
true meaning to seek !
Punny the guy descent
Actually absent
on own wedding date.
To bride, he didn’t pay debt.
03/04/23
When ideas aren't too vivid,
feel the absence of clarity,
scatter despicable hypocrisy
into each howling wind;
dream only of greater things:
show disdain and be enraged
at uncivil behavior that stinks!
Scatter despicable hypocrisy
into the howling, furious winds,
let them carry to a distant planet
further than the Moon, Saturn, or Mars;
save Humankind from this toxic dust:
deceitful tyrants deserve no pity!
Nowadays, kids don't have sound minds
with determined goals for success,
no excellent grades to impress;
their thoughts are influenced by demons.
When their jokes are arrogant and miss wit;
when their laughter is without delight,
it's a clear sign of an alliance that harms
their existence with a sudden obsession with disgust.
It might be too late to lay their path straight,
each effort can save them from a suicidal state!
Scatter despicable hypocrisy
in that tumultuous sea
with raging waves and high winds,
it'll strike any shore without a dire warning;
let parents heed it and save their children,
so they can live life peacefully.
how to stay alive
amongst people
who have guns
and wear masks
is like learning
how not to drown
when the river
runs red and fast.
they call themselves
ice, law, enforcement,
cowards with letters
stacked up like badges
and pride thicker
than bulletproof glass.
they say
if Floridians wear a mask
in the commission of a felony
their sentence can be doubled —
but not them.
no, they get to mask up
in the name of law
and shoot first,
ask questions later
like kids with war toys
and bad jokes.
you keep your eyes open
and your back
against concrete walls
listening for sirens
not for angels.
don’t step
when they tell you
don’t step.
don’t breathe
when they tell you
don’t breathe.
don’t live
when they tell you
who should live.
there’s no handbook
for this kind of survival.
no pamphlet
from the county office.
just you,
your heartbeat,
and the stubborn notion
that being alive
doesn’t mean waiting
to be killed by a man
wearing a mask
and a 007 license to kill.
keep walking,
keep talking,
and remember
their bullets are loud
but they’re not destiny.
stay alive
by refusing to shrink,
by telling your own story
louder
than their sirens
and their lies.
The highlight of our week
Knock knock
who’s there ?
A barrage of punchy one-liners
Hilarious skits to crack you up
Ruth Buzzi swinging her purse
Lily Tomlin at the switchboard
One ringy dingy…
two ringy dingy
Rowan & Martin’s snide remarks
Giggles from behind doors
Goldie Hawn flashing her smile
And her infectious laughter
Unconditionally raising
Sunday night’s goofy silliness
To new lofty altitudes
Of exuberant cheerfulness
Lavishly overflowing
well into...
bluesy Monday mornings
AP: Honorable Mention 2025
Published in my 24-page photo/anthology ~RANDOM MUSINGS VOL.2~ 2020
Submitted on February 6, 2020 for contest STRAND SELECT F sponsored by BRIAN STRAND - RANKED 1ST