Long Humpty Poems
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Once upon a time not too long ago there was a land
where men and women were free! A place we are told
ruled by democracy. “United we stand, divided we fall”
became the creed, the chant of all. Slowly at first a malaise
took charge and infected everyone.
Humpty Dumpty stood tall on his wall to see what was the
matter. Then Humpty slipped, took a great fall and landed
with splash and splatter. All of his buddies and foes,
suffering from bereft just looked at their toes and left.
That was when the spider, a stoic politician, became
a decider and said with volition: vote for me, vote for me
and forever stay free!
And so it came to pass that in the land of the free,
the politico and his peers prospered by enticing voters
with lies and false promises. What was once a democracy
became a politocracy: a government of the politician,
by the politician and for the politician.
United they stand and divide us all!
I was sitting on the wall
And I suffered a great fall
Stupid horses came around
Couldn’t see me on the ground
Then of course, Kings men attend
None of them knew how to mend
They kicked off my pieces, scattered
Left me lying ruined, shattered
Then Mad Hatter picked my bits
Took me home in paper sheets
Glued me thoroughly, with care
And his company, March Hare
Treated me with jasmine tea
Which the Dormouse brewed for me
Sitting in a comfy bowl
I won’t try another fall
I’m recovered from that stroke
But those Kings men, what a joke
I was lucky to get Hatter
With the mind that’s over matter
Now I’m living like a king
Chapped, but still a precious thing.
It’s like solving a puzzle
Figuring out by introspection or divine providence
Which word goes where and how it goes there
, I’d trade a runner’s high for a punner’s high any day
It’s better that way, at least for me
An emotional dump and stress levels fall like Humpty Dumpty
This is my eighth poem in two days and I’m not even losing sleep
At least not any I can’t afford to lose
And what’s more prison’s no excuse
They can’t take this away from me
Not as long as I have pen and paper
Hell, even if they took that I could still compose
Just a bit more ephemeral in general I suppose
But it keeps me on my toes when the words I chose come together in the end
I won’t pretend it’s all about being brilliant
It takes happy accidents and coincidental turns of phrase
like “turn of phrase” and “happy accident” that have something poetical to em
I don’t create anything I just find the rhythm that occurs naturally,
And actually, if I over-think,
it stinks, it’s ruined and wrecked,
I move on to the next part and come back when I lack brain and have heart
I’d rather relieve my mind than my bladder
Splatter my troubles onto the page and watch the rage disengage
The hardest part for me is knowing when to stop
I do not wish to tell you the truth
about this world. No. Not yet!
I do not wish to disclose the abyss
that civilisation has descended to.
This is not the time.
I shall protect and preserve your
innocence as long as time allows,
for in your eyes I see a hope
that I had lost many years ago.
your baby hands grasp my fingers,
that have changed since I was like you,
a result of my travails over many years.
The stories I read out to you are far too nice,
and even the wolf in your stories have a heart,
and show some kindness, but not in the
real world I live in. We shall talk about
butterflies and sing about stars, and many
rhymes that create a world that we would all like.
Let us stay here and enjoy these moments,
because when you grow up, you will know the
world that I know now.
Meanwhile, I can show you love and
the immense value of it, I can show you
what respect means- and that it is not reserved
just for a few- but to everything that you find in this world,
man, animal, bird, plants and many other creatures
that you will come to meet and know about.
Please do show respect to all that is there in nature- living or non living,
for everything is a product of eternal creation.
Choose morals and good values, over money,
learn to hurt no one, in action, thought or
through words.
Have true education that brings you closer to
creation in all its glory- and not learn things
that are a result of prejudice, lies, politics or half truths
paraded as spiritual knowledge through religion.
learn to understand yourself, and through that
knowledge- the true meaning of life-
Life is an opportunity to show love, compassion
and care! It is not to establish dominance and hatred.
With knowledge, dear little one,
you will be able to take on this world,
and not be fazed by the many situations,
that are so different from the stories
we read together.
One day, I am sure, you and your generation
will be able to put Humpty-Dumpty, together again!
I will be long gone by then, but in your
innocent eyes- I see hope.
Love
Grandpa!
Most imp potent and salient playbook page...
'bout fluffiness of hair after washing
Now get ready for...
yup intelligent persiflage
determining if potty "talk" gauge
correctly calibrated courtesy this sage.
Beats out global warming
by a long stretch
most important commander
must set example you betch
chore life no matter
if miserable wretch
survives impeachable offenses
enough to make me kvetch,
especially four more years
yours truly will once again become
bulimic anorexic wretch.
Versus important crisis
of planet Earth,
where Gaia's bountiful
nature woolworth
analogous wharf resplendent
docks side of ships berth state
housing electricity generating
mined resources inevitable dearth
warming chill folks
courtesy homey hearth
reminiscent during inchoate
fetal nine months
in utero signaling imminent birth.
Quite understandable reasonable,
non negotiable, inviolable...
blah... blah... blah
scalp itching blather
particularly to prioritize
orange-blond hirsute fullness
upon rinsing sudsy shampoo lather
as expressed by this
post baby boomer
pencil neck geek father,
who attempts to walk poetic feet
across cyber sea
miraculously to slather.
Trademark seedy nonsensical
farcical gobbledygook,
perhaps posthumously printing
bestselling blank paginated chapbook
ghost written by Trump
titled Art of the Steal
detailing head and shoulders how to look
suave and sophisticated all business
swiftly tailored harried style shook
White House disguised himself as rook
key "Fake" incognito president
recruiting apprenticed bartered bride
slow vacuuming trophy wife crook
cow hoard milching, kickstarting,
inciting, generating... donnybrook
coiffing pompadour resembling
forefathers windblown periwig.
Nope not even one hair
mussed out of place,
as if teetering fountainhead
supporting Atlas shrugged
top heavy topples
and crashes scattering
bajillion easy pieces everyplace
analogous to humpty dumpty
each and every last vestige
vanishing without a trace
exiting out cloaca
subsequently intently watching
toilet bowl royally flush
clockwise if within northern hemisphere
heavy enough to sink submarine
haint no reason yours truly might gush
even if abominable ballast
saves queasy passengers
plummeting thru aerospace.
'Twas in London town (as I recall).
I was just a boy so small.
An egg sat smugly on a wall,
by the name of Mr. Dumpty.
Perhaps, it was Spring or early Fall,
that he held me in his thrall,
the gentleman, I soon would call
(fondly), my friend, Humpty.
Oh, how we would pontificate,
those arms would wildly gesticulate
Perhaps, I could anticipate,
he would be kaput.
But my oval friend with roundish butt,
my warning, he would then rebut,
saying, "fiddle dee dee and tut, tut, tut".
Trouble was afoot.
Perhaps, as he swayed in the breeze,
with spindly legs and knobby knees,
if he'd have listened to my pleas,
I'd have a different story.
Can one depend upon a horse,
with feet, but with no hands, of course,
to mend the consequence of force,
unquestionably gory?
It was so many years ago,
years of counseling, I'd undergo -
perhaps, I threw just a little low
to my friend Humpty.
'Twas in London town (as I recall).
I was just a boy so small.
when I tossed him that ball,
saying "Catch it, Mr. Dumpty"
Hickory Dickory Dock, the mouse,
Ran up the clock,
But the crooked little man
In his crooked little house,
Who caught this crooked mouse
After Humpty Dumpty's fall,
Could not prevent the coming
Down of baby, cradle and all!
Now old Mother Hubbard,
Checked her bare cupboard
And found Jack and Jill,
Who lived just up the hill,
She wrapped poor Jack’s head
In vinegar and brown paper!
Guy Fawkes scandalous caper,
Was renown, he met the Duke of York,
Who to Fawkes, seemed quite a dork,
For the Duke took all his men up,
Then down, and up and again down,
He did not want to break his crown!
At that moment a Ladybird,
Whose house was on fire and
Her children gone, flew to the house,
That Jack built, and sat on the maidens
Lap all forlorn,
In the early morn,
But the maiden had gone to bed with John
Who still had his trousers on!
Both had a ball, and sang
A song of Sixpence,
But in their defence
They were hiding from Guy Fawkes
And his gunpowder plot,
In bed, thought of it naught!
Suddenly through their bed
Ran three blind mice for their life
And a farmers wife,
Who was cutting their tails with a knife!
Imagine three little kittens,
Who had lost their mittens
But could have no pie,
When they saw the blind mice,
Pie was history, as once,
Twice and thrice,
They caught the blind mice!
Meanwhile Polly had put the kettle on
So that all the mourners for Cock Robin,
Could all have a cup of tea,
It was the fly with his little eye,
Who first saw him die.
However, through all of this,
Little Jack Horner
Who sat in his corner
Heard Tom, Tom the Pipers son,
And though related none
Visited the Queen of hearts,
Who gave them some tarts!
Night time was nigh
And way up in the sky,
Was a twinkling star,
That Jack Sprat spotted from afar,
And so did old King Cole,
But at the same time heard the bell toll,
For poor cock robin,
So he started sobbing,
But soon cheered up when
He saw a fine lady upon a white horse,
Riding to Banbury Cross!
Wee Willie Winkie, asked for a ride
Through the town,
Still in his nightgown!
But when he saw the cow jump
Over the moon,
And the dish,
Run away with the spoon,
He rubbed his eyes and said what a fiddle,
Hey diddle diddle!
"My Kingdom will rise above all others. I'll always put it first."
He spoke with the devil perched upon his left shoulder,
but no angel sat on the right of this diabolical sinner.
The king pointed his scepter; his lemmings did his bidding.
Dethroned, he claimed foul to the point of 'ad nauseum.'
A whining child, toy taken away; unworthy of the crown.
Like Humpty Dumpty, he fell from his wall, his ego shattered.
Making up alibis while his lemmings battered and defiled.
"I'm innocent," he scowled, to his fealty of blind worshippers.
Promising, he'd be a phoenix, returning to reclaim the throne.
"Nay," vowed the judicial Knights of the District's Realm.
Unfit, the usurper who tried to topple their country's domain.
The Verbal War was fought. For months on end, battles raged.
It was the age of absurdity, neither faction would retreat,
and in the end, no one won, but the homeland was the loser.
The abuser, bent on vengeance, stalks those he condemns.
Millions cried, "Clip the wings of the phoenix! He's no leader.
His lies have breached beyond belief, and caused much grief!"
In southern lands he now resides, licking his festering wounds
while declaring, "It's just the beginning." and so the villain looms.
February 14, 2021
Biting Satire Contest
Sponsor: Edward Ibeh
I hardly noticed the first tiny crack,
through the deluge of tears I cried.
Perhaps too numb to feel the sting of pain
or the fissure exposing my wounded heart,
but in sorrow, I chose to ignore it
in the futile hope that it would heal itself.
Adversity seldom vanishes of its own accord.
The cause of my anxiety increased tenfold
as larger pieces of me fractured and snapped.
My fragility was as bare as my soul,
both unprotected and vulnerable.
Wounds no bandage could cover or conceal.
My exterior had become a brittle shell,
falling around me in sharp edged shards.
The obvious camouflaged the obscure.
I had to be brave if I was going to heal.
I wanted no Humpty Dumpty Canticle
sung by pitying voices on my behalf.
The wall I once climbed no longer held me up
but I had learned to restrain my weakness
and the need to lean upon it as a crutch.
I motioned for the King's men to mount
and continue along on their journey.
If I was to be rescued, I swore to do it myself.
Carefully, I gathered each shattered fragment,
every crushed dream that had been broken.
I nurtured my wounds until my lamenting heart
stopped bleeding as we hobbled our way home
to be made whole once more.
January 6, 2023
2022 Poetry Marathon Mile 24
Sponsored by Mark Toney
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
But he didn't fall deliberately, he was pushed.
He was smahed to pieces when he landed on his tush.
Now his family is without a father and that is sad.
His family doesn't think it was a yolk, they are mad.
His poor family had to pick up the pieces after Humpty fell
And when I say pieces, I mean the pieces of the egg shell.
After six months, the murderer was finally caught.
He thought he'd get off scott free but he did not.
He killed Humpty Dumpty to get revenge because some eggs made him sick.
He was food poisoned when a chef used rotten eggs when he ordered eggs benedict.
The killer asked the judge to have mercy and he got on his knees and begged.
He doesn't understand why he got life in prison just for breaking an egg.