Long Humpty Poems
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Like Alice, I was curious and went through the rabbit hole.
Expecting to find a white rabbit welcoming me, in Wonderland.
Instead, something that looks like one said hello.
Wearing a dress with all the colors of the rainbow.
I said, Hello sir can you please take me to Madhatter for tea?
Very angry he stomped his foot and told me,
“I am not a “He” but a “She” you are in the land of the free.”
“Everything goes except Christianity.”
Oh, I said that is sad but can you still take me?
I followed him and we stop at an old oak tree,
Where a table was set with delicious cakes and tea.
I saw a big flower hat and a man at the opposite end.
Dressed in chiffon with high heels and lipstick,
I was welcomed by she/him, sorry I said I am confused.
Who are you?
“Silly girl”, he said can’t you see I am non-binary?
During the day I can be a he or she and even they.
“Get into the program if you want to stay,”
Oh, no I am only a visitor for the day, I said
I was looking for Cat in the Hat.
“At the palace of the king of spades,
You are still known as the queen of hearts,
Cat lives with Humpty Dumpty who is her sweetheart.”
Very surprised I was stopped by men dressed in black,
Short skirts, black stockings, and stiletto boots.
“Off with her head, off with her head”, they all said.
“She is one of them who say Jesus is her King.”
Then I woke up from this horrible dream.
Down through the years of my complicated
life, I have been a Weakling. But I have
also been a strong warrior displaying much
Strength.
I have experienced Love, but I have taken
a roll in the hay with Hate also.
I have prepared food for my Friends,yet I
I have eaten food at my Enemy’s table.
My family has never got me, nor understood
me. They made me feel like an Ugly Duck-
ling. But they also made me feel like a Beauti-
ful Swan as well. That alone, was very confusing
to a child. I guess you can say we had a Love-
Hate relationship.
My relationships with the opposite gender
were interesting too. They would often
Break my heart, then Mend It and put my
heart back together again.I felt like Humpty
Dumpty.
Everything I've been through in life, Big
or Small made me the person I am today.
Sometimes I am Happy, and I'm Sad too,
but that's me.
Accept me, or reject me, that my friend is
up to you.
11/18/2020
Contest: Juxaposition
Sponsor: Silent One
THE FINAL ACT
After Humpty Dumpty’s fall
Angry residents placed a call
The locals destroyed the wall
As it shouldn’t be there at all
Injured Humpty was all gloom
Alone in the emergency room
Having to use a nom de plume
Talking with doctors on Zoom
With meds all suitably labelled
Finally diagnosed as disabled
His complaint was then tabled
And a damages claim enabled
Then he was in constant pain
Smiling went against the grain
But was provided with a cane
Yet would never dance again
All the King’s horses and men
First aid was beyond their ken
As fighting was their acumen
Hadn’t joked much since then
Now Humpty has lost weight
One could say he’s in a state
His scheduled operation is late
Now wondering about his fate
It sounds just like a tale of woe
But that is the way a life can go
He’s a producer now you know
Sitting on walls is his new show
The wind blows from the East towards the West.
Like a migrating bird, I have finally left my nest.
The Sun rises in the West and Sets in the East.
I am hungry, but it is on Life that I feast.
I have been stressing. I been stressing for a while.
This the type of habitual stress that weighs your heart down much like anchor weighs down a ship.
But this feeling, this feeling explodes and intensifies the speed of the fall.
So when it ends you don't land, you shatter.
Unlike Humpty I do put myself together.
Although I do lose some parts of myself to this whole.
I embark on the climb to fall again.
Something like Sisyphus I've been dammed
but I still don't understand why I'm willing.
Why this heart stays whole above all after all its endured.
Even the beat to which my heart skips deceives me.
I swear its the fall that makes it beat new peaks.
Is it so that I shatter to save my soul.
That if I were to keep whole on impact I would Penetrate Earths crust itself and find myself residing in Hell's hole.
Is Lucifer my Savior? Is He not Gods Dammed Angel like I am a Damned Son.
Should I let my heart fall into depths of darkness and the touch
the Oh So Cold Touch which has my hair erect with its Chilling Embrace.
This matter has me as indecisive as a child in a candy store.
I am not half as innocent but still I wish it was half as sweet.
I wish the World to be as sweet as honey and not make me have to choose.
Oh how sweet that would be.
Could not everything meet me half way?
If not whole.
Once more it is time for the fall.
Is this God's or Lucifer's call...
I close my eyes. Turn around.
And face the West.
For I am tired of watching the Sun set.
I am tired of endings.
I face the West and count my blessings.
I count many things.
The Sun Rises.
It was one Hell of a fall.
But in this moment in time I understand yes it was in fact,
God's Call.
HUMPTY’S RETURN
When poor Humpty Dumpty fell off the wall,
The Eggsperts all gave him no hope at all.
No one could put him together again,
Not the king’s horses nor all the king’s men.
He must have lost too much yolk they all said
And without a transfusion, he’d be dead.
But the medics said they could make him well
And set out to work on his shattered shell.
Their training told them what they had to do.
And using a large tube of super-glue.
They put into practice what they’d trained for
And bit-by-bit, he was ovoid once more
But, although he’s feeling over the moon,
Humpty won’t be climbing any time soon
Two Words – Redux One
Thumb
Finger
Hand
Foot
Toe
Toes
Blunder
Thunder
Seam
Beam
Stupidity
Contagious
Intelligence
Desired
Planets
Stars
Venus
Mars
Milky
Way
Iambic
Rhyme
Real
Divine
Curve
Time
Nose
Ears
Sticks
Styx
Bald
Hairy
Baloney
Piffle
Top
Bottom
Trump
Mussolini
Charlatan
Fascist
Sun
Mercury
Cosmic
Certitude
Mad
Man
She
Monster
Eyes
Flies
Turd
Bird
Money
Desire
Fruit
Empire
Pain
Pane
Brain
Drain
Red
Blue
Tie
Shoe
Gun
Bullet
Fun
Bun
Wind
Rain
All
Same
Drugs
Thugs
Atwill
Actor
Lamarr
Actress
Snot
Plot
Rasputin
Putin
Monk
Dictator
Zombie
Walking
Run
Bum
Much
Talk
Franklin
Adams
Madison
Monroe
History
Record
Fake
News
Some
Say
Bale
Hay
Right
Way
Not
Today
Toe
Jam
Computer
Scam
Earthen
Dam
Heaven
Hell
Magic
Spell
Athena
Bubo
Perseus
Andromeda
Poseidon
Kraken
Action
Motion
Yes
No
Yup
Nope
Submarine
Scope
Bismarck
Battleship
Gloom
Doom
Titanic
Tomb
Job
Rob
Bank
Banc
Anne
Frank
Humpty
Dumpty
Big
Egg
Stand
Tall
Rick
Ugarte
Gary Bateman, Copyright © All Rights Reserved
July 22, 2018 (Short-Form Free Verse)
I also feel blasé today February 19th, 2024
Linkedin to being lax,
and shirking house cleaning tasks,
which negligence cost us
(yours truly and the missus)
a golden opportunity
to relocate to Hillcrest Village
in Boyertown, Pennsylvania
another HUD subsidized property
under the aegis of Grosse and Quade,
one of the larger residential
property management firms
in the Delaware Valley.
Physical unwellness
(insync with racing heart) arose
because Kathleen Bergen
the new property manager
here at 2 Highland Manor
voiced absolute zero positive feedback,
upon taking lock, stock, and barrel
of appalling living conditions,
her blistering vocalization
(from wuthering heights)
translated as a foregone conclusion
against our hopes
pinned on moving into
two bedroom apartment
referenced above topmost lines.
Said plummeted disappointment
(courtesy blunt admission
out the mouth of
(humpty dumpty sat on a wall)
frumpty recent hire
identified in a previous poem
as new warden)
verbosely predicated upon
gross appearance of living space
immediately dashed cautious optimism
citing unkempt state
within no crater than
moonwalking unit b44,
whereby we wished to skadaddle
far away from obligation
to be mindful of rules and regulations
codified within a binding lease.
Unlikely home ownership
will ever come to pass,
nor the lesser prospect
to rent more spacious domicile
larger than a one bedroom apartment,
no bigger than a bread box
den me and the missus,
(a hen pecking spouse)
might befriend Bugs Bunny,
who might guarantee
adequate sized rabbit hole
constituting large enough wonderland
receiving stamp of approval
courtesy Alice in Chains
subsidized lodging money back
plus additional warren tee
granted by Mister Michael Fox,
who took me back to the future,
when the pace of life
plodded along at leisurely rhythm.
Only within outer limits
realm of twilight zone,
where dark shadows
inch along edge of night
(while two thumbs and index finger
belonging to separate good sports
grab hold the furcula
(or wishbone) structure
formed by the ventral fusion
of the right and left clavicles
and the median interclavicle
silently mouth invocation)
holds at bay, the inexplicable phenomena
moored, harbored, and docked
awaiting lucky recipient,
whose merrythought bestowed
upon he/she, they/them.
Humpty Dumpty had no yolk
As oft implied to younger folk.
This hatched idea in oviform
Should never have become the norm.
And so, before it is too late
I mean to set the record straight.
For Humpty was a tortoise bold
With hankerings to break the mould.
‘Why should it be?’ he’d often sigh
‘That we chelonians cannot fly?’
With lofty thoughts, aerodynamic
He climbed the wall – no sign of panic.
His oak-leaf wings in ten-fold ply
Assured success in his mind’s eye
But birds in flight looked on in dread
Knowing too well what lay ahead!
It's great to hold high aspirations
But best to know one’s limitations!
Now Humpty is content to roam
At leisure in his mobile home.
THE MYSTERY OF HUMPTY DUMPTY CONTEST
05/07/18
I heard the tale of Humpty Dumpty who sat on a wall,
and how he managed to have a terrible and fatal fall.
But let me be the first to set the record straight,
everything that happened that day was not fate.
Humpty was a rising and upcoming gymnast,
that could do flips on the balance beam really fast.
He had enemies that hated him to the core,
they wanted to be Him,and so much more.
So one day they greased down the infamous wall,
Dumpty practiced there everyday, they knew he’d fall.
Until this day no one knows the true story,
It was the biggest lie told in modern history.
My father was a king's horseman and a gymnast,
and helped kill him and think of a lie that would last.
6-28-18
Humpty Dumpty
Humpty Dumpty went to the doctor as he did not feel well; he needed help to come out of his shell
so off to the doctors, Humpty ambled. He was confused because his brain was so scrambled.
The doctor looked at Humpty and said, “This is no joke. You seem to lost nearly all of your yolk.”
Humpty said to the doctor, “I had a great fall while I was sitting on the garden wall.”
After my fall I did not feel well. I found I had a crack in the back of my shell
then Poor Humpty took a turn for the worse and poor Humpty is now dead
So the doctor had him for breakfast between two slices of bread