Long Hoity Poems

Deva Ossig, the landlady (and property owner) turned rogue

Just a couple weeks shy 
and seven years ago to the day,
I still remember contractual obligations
our previous residential abode
724 West Railroad Avenue, 
Bryn Mawr 19010 zip code
volatile...

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In the manse market for a preowned spa house

Mine feeble efforts pale in comparison
to a kid scaling El Capitan
of Yosemite National Park,
nevertheless me, a dry witted husband
self emasculated milquetoast
of late ofttimes yawps imprecations
against fickle finger...

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Ever the gracious recipient of largesse!

Estrangement swiftly harries stylishly tailors
mine psyche courtesy family of origin, plus
eldest daughter, whose doth rage against this
human machine, albeit yours truly, beatle
browed, black crows, foo fighter (biological
daughter), a presumption aye...

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to dirt poor anonymous guerillas G.I. Jane or G.I. Joe
   who cross paths with each other, 
   even those one doth not know

when ordinary biases, callousness, 
   denigration...doth full...

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No sooner than we set foot within said domicile
attestation to so called gentleman’s’ agreement with guile
initially infrequently, but incessantly as time elapsed Isle 
never forget (nor will spouse forgive) with rancor and rile 
ceaselessly besieging,...

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How unappealing... the missus went bananas
courtesy hurling mandarin oranges.

Yes quite juvenile
unladylike childlike behaviour,
mine wife oft times doth display,
I do not deplore

yours truly reckons
tis futile effort causing furore
aye attest bull
in china shop incorrigible hardcore
exhibited by spouse

out...

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Me and the missus live in decent
sturdy accommodations (formerly 
Schwenksville Elementary School
ofttimes referred to as prison,
and manager as the de facto warden),
albeit not so shabby nor chic low income 
quite modest (rather unmatchable cost wise)...

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As Miss Luby watches from her window
a moving van backs up
the driveway across the street

BEEP!  BEEP!  BEEP!  BEEP!

its warning cry has a beacon-like effect
on the neighborhood
arousing interest from all corners
everything suddenly shaken...

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My Rhetoric Rhapsody

Oh! I am a Poet
It’s me again pretty poet of the century,
Breaking through till I reach mercury.
A pretty poet with popping phrases,
A poor poet with perpetual personality.
Praying that my poems pulls out pieces...

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Quasi Mote - Oh Ephemeral Transit Across Proto Zones!

Strictly speculation from this mind,
who contemplates stripped down version
bajillion eons ago
cosmic bit sized dots
pinwheeled thru spatial void

repulsed and/or attracted
colluding (putin on the Ritz)
infinitesimal show stopper
devoid of prior...

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We (me and the missus)
live in a decent
accommodations low income
quite modest rent,
which facility lacks no shortage
of gossip mongers

with mail delivery the major event
many old people smelling of unguent
faux superman thumping chests nsync
with hooking thumbs around
suspenders...

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Puttin on the Ritz - Just for You

Remember when I used to be dead broke,
and everyone laughed cause my dreams were a big joke?
Well I married a rich fellow and I’m rolling in dough.
Now I’m...

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There lies inanimate a lady who lived within her character
		Who I found so ugly when her heart was going pitter-patter;
		Her character left no ornamental mark on earth as it was burlesque –
		But that was quite...

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sheets of light from times that’ve passed &
(patterns of events 
that try to circumvent)
clichés dancing ‘pon the looking glass 
(original overcast clouds 
placing bets upon the rent)
where places drift along the sea 
(introverted romantic something...

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I've traveled from the farm in Indiana, the place of my humble birth,
To places I never dreamed of seeing all around this earth!
On ships, trains and airplanes visiting fascinating ports of call,
And dining in hoity-toity...

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Our land of stars and stripes, now glows,
with screens that flicker in hallowed halls.
Entranced humans shuffle, with eyes fixed below,
on small gadgets that have us enthralled.

Should the Statue of Liberty, our symbolic girl,
be holding a...

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I only speak in Absolute 
Yet this is not my only attribute
Im also fluent in Paradox
Contradiction and Outside the Box

Though Deception is my native tongue
And Manipulation my lips have sung
Not in ages have I conversed
In...

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With an ingenuine saccharine la-di-da
The hoity toity woman said “hi” to ma
A want to be royal, an aristocrat
stated poser, false Sheila name of Pat

My brother was smitten right away
He gave her his best times of...

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The battle is over,
Herald are sent and uncovered.
Elites are deported from the nook and crannies.

Leaders of the war are now demised.
Aggression and oppresion escoted love;
Serendipities of hoity clamour are shoved.
Time came and gone

Overruled by peace...

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For William and Laura Nance

if the jabberwocky were a clock
would it talk in jabberese
or simply be right twice a day
in order to sometimes please

what if ants were big as horses 
and horses could take to...

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Dainty Bess did not show her face
At the garden party today...
In her absence, Larkspur were
Hoity in elegant dress of hot pink and
Sapphire blue lace, standing tall, lifting
Their heads so all could see.
Irises burst with laughter...

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Where does one find humour?

Everywhere one looks... at least I do

Others may not see it like me

But maybe I'm just built differently

I was blessed with an oversized giggle gene

It's certainly not a bad thing I...

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Because of my farting
I'm stuck in one room
In my mansion on Hoity-Toit Hill
The force of the gas
Expelled from my ass
Propels me along, “What a thrill!”

As my butt cheeks expand
I aim straight ahead
With a helmut secured...

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Where does one find humour?
Everywhere one looks... at least I do
Others may not see it like me
But maybe I'm just built differently
I was blessed with an oversized giggle gene
It's certainly not a bad thing I...

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I live up here in Minnesota where season's have four names.
But sometimes just one is the reason to our claim to fame.
Right now the snow birds aren't our best friends.
And the snow is up to...

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