Long Hogwash Poems
Long Hogwash Poems. Below are the most popular long Hogwash by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Hogwash poems by poem length and keyword.
There is a legend of a cowboy down in Texas
To whom they give the sobriquet of Pecos Bill.
It's said he rooted and he tooted
As across the plains he scooted,
Stetsoned, jeaned, bowlegged, and booted,
Pursuing cows and wooing gals
As was his skill.
The story goes one day while Bill was out romancing,
A cyclone came and rudely whisked the gal away.
He hopped atop the thing to ride it,
Quickly lassoed and hogtied it,
Then none the worse for wear and tear and rough foreplay,
Out stepped the gal,
And Pecos Bill had saved the day.
Now, legends often tend to get a bit inflated,
And this one here is no exception to the rule.
Some say it's too exaggerated,
I say it's well imaginated.
Like alimony oilmen often pay their exes,
Things are always so much bigger down in Texas.
Of course, it's hogwash, rubbish, bunk,
And yet how often have I thunk
That the tale of Pecos Bill is kinda cool.
Bazball pimps now shrimps on the barbie
So low did stoop scoop of Nincompoop soup
Trumpet the thump it Bazball strumpet crumpet
Bravado of trio with brio plus lardo & avocado
Braggadocio Pinocchio mumbo jumbo gumbo
Bizarre under par no cigar mis-steak tartare
Phony baloney mony mony minestrone
Fish & swish delish dish of death wish Gibberish
Wacky ego from hero to zero tacky shi*show taco
Don’t give a f*ck not once but twice spliced duck
Flame grilled chances spilled one trick pony
Gobbledygook spooked overcooked zabaglione
Slurry in a hurry won’t worry say sorry curry
Baggie green vented spleen terrine
Why would you even risk it brisket
Takes the proverbial herbal verbal biscuit
Ashes hope killer dope quesadilla
Oz supernova it’s already over Dover sole
Lamb to the ripsnorter slaughter
Drole rigmarole goad toad in the hole
Baz puns like Mao’s guns in bao buns
Gory no glory story does bore me Tandoori
Bazball goals down golf holes silly sausage rolls
Canned slices of fanned tanned Barmy army
Starc tsunami lark umami like spiced pastrami
Bavette baguette of bet will forget any regret
Baz & Ben flower pot men smarmy salami
Stumble derails still no humble pie tales
Scallops with dollops of lolloping Codswallop
Bazball boast spit roast with burnt toast trollop
Snipe this tripe is as ripe as our Gripe
Gabbatoir bete noir Pom bomb Dauphinoise
Done like a kipper without Warne’s flipper
Stellar Aussie fella mortadella from the cellar
Hoodwink stink of our skipper.. all cheesy hype
Shocker if this is our Test best.. zest of fu*k fest
In the locker of Davy call in the navy cos Bazball ain’t gravy
Be fearless, it does not matter.
Rise above all your mind clatter!
I hear you, thinking, but they are better than me.
Hogwash, I tell you, most happily!
I realize, fully, the groupies here.
Love them and give them three cheers!
The writing is the thing you see?
Stop drooling for pages of commentary!
Oh, yes, I understand you greatly and your sensitivity.
That will make your pen move most with soul, more readily.
You need not be at the top of the heap.
Stop sitting there, with a big weep.
Just write simply, be free as a bird.
Your mood counts not, just your word!
You need not do poetry acrobatics to prove yourself.
Nor write only to win trophies for your shelf.
God gave you a gift, and though others pass you by.
It's perfectly alright! He sees you from His throne in the sky!
Go pen now, happiness or sadness.
Avoid all news, the world overcome with madness!
Put lights on your house, brighten souls.
You are humanity's gift, remember that shining goal!
12-22-2020
Strikingly crafty logomaniac presents...
what else... his trademark blatherskite!
While sprawled comfortably
numb upon davenport
Iowa daily dose of poetic mishmash,
thus yours truly couches, kneads, sports...
his imponderable matted
swiftly styled balderdash
noah intent to kindle
potential ark enemy, nor abash
please pardon your
garden variety philologos,
preparing himself for backlash
he spouts nonsense words
with chutzpah and brash
his logorrhea affliction begets
meaningless rot i.e. namely ishkabibble,
where scapegoated test dummies crash
inscrutably, dumbly, busily blankly
boxing, blinking, batting... eyelash
hijacking, flouting, disregarding... covenant,
not causing corpus callosum damage
basically self made edict equals hogwash,
within one North American banana republic
predicated upon fiat gnash
trumpets blatantly non subliminal,
subordinate, subtle... ho hum
messages cuz bosh to liberty we smash
with most popular refrain
"send her/him back" cash
hearing purported dispensable
deportee with swash-
buck killing bravado
marquee, where klieg lights
blindingly broadcast in a flash.
"FAKE" mania loosed doth stall
refugees, where desperation witnesses
land of milk and honey,
perhaps some heading to Broomall,
who if necessary crawl
escaping forced sex trafficking poverty,
persecution, violence... downfall,
viz puppet government
tricked out noble (no bull) border wall
configured as demilitarized zone
hostilility spewing noxious,
poisonous, venomous gall
courtesy commander in chief
who essentially hoops to forestall
his impeachment proceedings
bristling, ranting, scathing... twitter feeds
spewing bosh raining hatred filled squall
spouting jingoistic rhetoric
atop anointed hall
of the mountain king
eerily similar to Taj Mahal
firing expletive epithets
assenting military mandating withdrawal
loosing vicious police and/or junkyard dogs
declaring no exemption against marshall
law innocence absolute zero guard
as sharp teeth nsync with flesh maul
cue hideous sinister laughter
welcome to danse macabre ball!
Now Is the Time. Do Not Wait
Hogwash!
Venial and mortal sin are made up
By the Vatican,
Aligned in spiritual classification
Of neatly arrayed distinction.
Sin is sin and not
A portrait of Dante’s
Superstitious eye
And vivid imagination.
This notion that everyone
Who follows the Catholic doctrine
Will be granted everlasting life
Is meant to deceive;
And so, cover your face in shame
When the bad things you’ve done
Are exposed.
Belief in Purgatory is blasphemous.
Christ said, “I am the good shepherd.
I know my own and my own know me!”1
And Christians believe
That through Jesus’ teachings,
“All that the Father gives me, will come to me
and whoever comes to me I will never cast out!”2
There is only one unforgivable sin
On the way to eternal life;
Failure to comply will be dire,
And death can come at any time.
“Because, if you confess with your mouth
that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart
that God raised Him from the dead,
you will be saved!”3
Now is the time. Do not wait.
***
Reference:
1John 10:14 (ESV).
2John 6:37 (ESV)).
3Romans 10:9 (ESV).
I have a great aunt who can blether and blather about nothing
she drops hints about her wealth as she spits her gobbledygook
Since she is 97, I ignore her nonsense, but she has no idea
For I have her on speaker and every once in a while I grunt
Or I say “uh-huh”, or “oh, yeah”. I never have to say tell me more.
Her claptrap hogwash tripe is longer than the longest freight train.
It stretches from Omaha to California. Empty talk, for sure.
I put the phone down sometimes and vacuum a room.
Or take the clothes out of the washer and put them into the dryer.
When I return, she is still talking. Balderdash nonsense, for sure.
She loves the fact that I do not call her on her bunk and bull.
I check her off my list of people to call for a month. Win win.
Good eve to you and sets the sun
Let's have some fun, stay on alert
For someone will get their just desserts
Not you though it's no piece of cake
As I had mine and ate it too
On just the other side of daybreak
But all I got for my last 5 pence
Was a lukewarm bowl of nonsense
With just a balderdash of drivel
So sweet it turned my head a swivel
A bit of mischief and baloney
Seemed phony so I spit it in a kerchief
A little gobbledygook was all it took
To turn that hogwash into rubbish
So all you had was a slice to take
Of a dollop of icing on a fake cupcake
It's almost dawn so get the check first
We can try for something hot at breakfast
He never believed in love at first sight!
Spurious hogwash, or so he thought.
Yet he felt a magnetic fascination,
Seeing her alone, sipping a cool exotic drink,
Dressed impeccably in local folklore attire.
He was deeply attracted for she was
The most beautiful woman he’d ever seen.
He felt stirred by emotions supernal,
Like a bee sucking nectar from every glamorous bloom.
Nature unparalleled had a way to provoke him.
Drinking at the bar, what was supposed to be
One for the road, his next air flight.
It was not to be. He cancelled his trip home.
Back at the bar she was not to be seen.
Ah luckless love, what devious tricks it plays
On most poor mortals! Had she not smiled at him?
Pierced his heart, provoked intoxication of love?
In his exalted admiration of her, he vowed:
He would never leave until she's found.
They don’t give a monkeys
You’ve read what they’ve said
These flunkeys are off their head
Braggadocio pinocchio junkies
Baz cronies nutter baloney utter
Phoney show ponies in the gutter
Stutter one more flutter then splutter
Aussies like a knife through butter
The death of a nation..us all pining for Bazball’s fine dining/opining alright whining degustation;
Amuse bouche (louche with a bag of douche);
Golly gosh Hogwash
Humpty Dumpty Numpty
Total scrotal Tosh
To start (brain fart);
Fish have another swish
Trumpet Bazball strumpet crumpet
Dish of death wish Gibberish
To cleanse the palette (God dammit);
Far too mellow sickly sweet lemoncello
Take a mallet to the Bazball planet (grief aperitif & digestif)
Entree (naysay it's okay.. the way we play come what may every bloody day);
Ruddy veteran fuddy duddy buddies bash
Splash of rash & brash
Off stump chump slump rump
Dash..lash then crash
Flash Balderdash hash
Desert ( just desserts)
Teasing wheezing ego pleasing Trollop
Dollop of Codswallop
With a twist of narcissist mist (you get the gist)
Cheese board (traditions ignored)
Aussie gloat aged goat
Camembert despair
Double header immature cheddar
Out fought and out thought Roquefort
(served with they're crackers and in a bit of a pickle)
Petit Fours (flaws encores & guffaws);
Scoop of NincomPOOP
Tasty bit of hasty bullshi*
Peacocks big bolloc*s
Tripe as ripe as our Gripe
You don’t get a coffee because like Test cricket they can’t do it for toffee
Shameful Portland
Another Conservative reporter
attacked.
The police in Portland would not
cover his back.
Shame on you Antifa cowards!
Hiding behind your cowardly masks.
Americans and people of all
nations must stop their lunatic
fringe, physical attacks.
On others who don't follow
their leftist tracks.
The left is kind only to those
of the same mind.
This is hogwash and stupidity.
So knock off chanting about
Peace and War!
When it's people unlike you, you
so disgustingly abhor!
In our own countries attacking
people at dinners, rock-throwing,
Violent, anarchist killers.
You have the right to differ not
to harm.
We do it in poetry, too.
We destroy and demean others
with aplomb.
Yes, the same people so afraid
of war and bombs.
Add the internet, Facebook,
Twitter,just space stations.
Where we can belittle, lie and
Rip apart anyone with
Conservative persuasions
This is not freedom.
This is name calling and the
lowest of political perversion.
Worse, the man attacked was
Chinese.
So, we see who the Xenophobes
are...in this case, the cruel
Antifa , holy congregation.
July 1, 2019
2:15 pm PST