Long Freshener Poems

If you would like to have your limerick(s) posted, soup mail them to me.

Ms. Rude is still writing her snide remarks
She sounds like a mad dog who barks and barks
Geeze, lady, give it a rest
Your...

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Incredible Product Warnings

By Elton Camp

Far from folly this hair dry warning is keeping
In telling snoozers, “Do not use while sleeping”

Thinking of putting a curl in your colon or tongue? 
“For external use only,” on curling...

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“Get lost, I don’t care,” snarled the young wolf disingenuously
The naïve stripling wanted little more than acclaim
With no knowledge of why it continued--
The 
       slow 
   ...

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Slavery was abolished in America almost 200 years ago
but the system refuses to relinquish a sad history
binding young black men as they remain prey
and are locked up in a system to perform free labor
blue mood...

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commercials for cellphones
commercials for lipsticks
commercials for fragrance
commercial for a gas company
commercial for a golf club
for a car
for shoes
commercial for a cellphone
commercials for painkillers
commercails for a gun
commercial for the lottery
commercials about my happiness
commercials about my life
about...

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I can see the dark hues through my window, 
it’s cloudy outside with no stars or fireflies. 
It’s been three years since the darkness has been protecting me
With its hollow emotions running through me day...

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I wish I was an Oscar Meyer weiner....cause then I'd be in somebody's buns.

"I shall return!" I said to my last wife, last time I saw her in 1989.  McArthur I isn't!

Why are women...

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Our Day Out

Our day out to Wales in the Summer of 1981
In car temperature soars that alike to Lebanon,
Not like the previous year of 1980
When temperatures where more akin to Haiti.
Mark one Cortina of a...

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I remember the days of yore.
Entering my house, out came my knight,
my sable-coloured spaniel.  
Licking my face, giving me great delight.

He jumped up and down with joy
and I’ll never forget the smell
of my lovely...

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My nutty week stays long in my memory
My brain didn't process like it would normally
But just to be sure I now lay of the pink gin
I will share you my tale and shall now begin.

Paracetamol...

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prose and poem

Sitting quietly on a rock along my neighbor's forest trail, I studied countless creatures darting about.  Were they aware of my presence?   I listened to primitive sounds, clear messages I...

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Easy Elimination of Stupid People Part Three

By Elton Camp

Warnings show how stupid folks can be
As promised, here you have part three
Hershey’s Almond Bar wants you to face:
“Warning, of nuts this may have a trace”

A can...

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Motionless

It looked such a sorry sight
Standing in the shed
Covered in rust and dust
With just a trace of red

A vibrant red with a flash of black
Across the outside door
No sign of this embellishment
As the car sinks...

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Grandma’s Vase

I remember the old yellow vase
that grandma kept on the kitchen table
she filled it each day with flowers she cut
from the beds in the backyard garden

in spring it held purple hyacinths
Filling the house with...

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It’s wonderful to look upon me,
exactly at the moment of my entry.
Stepping into the light to decide my fate _
Thinking of which bold move do I make.

Hmmm, Shall washing my face be of my first...

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Merry Impeachness

Justice delayed however symbolic
the orangutan finally won his award
for corruption and dereliction of duties
the constitution used to apply to all

IMPEACH
the orange leach
Lucifer has more morality
Peeing hookers to that will clarify

Concentration camps built
doctors denied free...

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There was an old woman who lived in a shoe
And I bet it stunk to high heavens!
And if she really lived in that thing
The size was bigger than elevens

There's nothing worse than a stinky foot
Well,...

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Scrubbing the surface to clear the scratches,
To remove the waste things and ugly flashes.
To keep room tidy to stack the things in place,
To care for ventilation to shinning a room face.

Spray the air-freshener and used...

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I hurried to a nearby town
to give an interview.
I knew this perfect job would help
me start my life anew.

I took the elevator and
pushed button number eight.
The car lurched; then it wouldn’t budge.
I cried, “Oh, I’ll...

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Small uncomfortable chairs,
Big ugly rugs.
"Hello how can I help you"'s flying around the room.
The click clack of the keyboard.
Month old magazines,
The occasional little kid screaming at their mother.
The smell of air freshener way too strong.
The...

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Sometimes I fart like an AK-47
People run for cover in fear
With panic on their distorted faces
They can tell my end is near

Not from a fear of death they run
It's the indescribable odour
Something must have died...

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