Long Feel a need Poems
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I always feel a need to help pick up the broken pieces.
No matter how much the glass rips my tired hands to shreds.
I grew up between all things broken,
Broken glass, broken TV screens,
broken homes, and broken dreams,
Broken memories, broken brain,
Broken relationships and broken scenes,
I grew up between a father with a fist of Iron and a mother who didn’t take her pills when she saw the monsters at the door.
I found friendship and companionship in the downtrodden, the broken and uncut,
The “uncivilized”,
The “polarized”
The runts.
I found myself falling too far and too close to the same tree,
The tree I hung from once I felt that I was free,
Under a medicine cabinet,
Chewing on the same pills I spit out after realizing I didn’t put myself in a casket,
I grew up broken and dirty,
My kid hands covered in the blood of the adult I was meant to be.
But the man I became rose from the ashes of what never was,
The kintsugi core connection that I met when confounding the confrontations it would take to make me free.
I fell in love under a drone show in concrete streets,
Though I wouldn’t know why until I was a few months wiser and a few steps more free.
I found the gold to fix my porcelain,
The color to fill my life back with by filling out the numbers,
I found completion,
Because despite what might be broken about us both,
Our shattered glass and tattered cloth fit perfectly in this puzzle piece together.
i sometimes wonder...
at the rhythm of the rain
the fever just beneath the skin
the shimmer of the morning dew
the feeling i get with you
where are unused teardrops stored
why are the lonely so often ignored
do flowers feel love or pain
when they're cut and given away
i wonder...
why love makes the moon so bright
where the day goes when it's chased by the night
why some people feel the need
to sit and watch their lover bleed
if the world stopped how many would want to get off
if the day is over is it forever lost
would you want to bring it back again
but only the parts that you could win
i wonder...
do babies know they fill a need
a mothers heart gladly receives
how two hearts meld into one
when you find the right one to love
could a fish swim the seven seas
how long must you wait for a bended knee
can all in life that you take to the heart
change the outcome of who you are
i wonder...
why i miss love the way i do
why are thoughts unsaid most often true
why does the heart feel a need for change
when there's the slightest bit of rain
could love be given in return
if that love was never earned
if there was no mercy, love, or grace
what would take its place
a few things that i wonder about
i only wish i could figure out
as i sit and wonder...
My old bike is good for me,
It takes me from A to B
Times when I need to be alone
My bicycle and I on our own
Cars are fine for families,
Cruising along can be a breeze,
Cars are too expensive to run
Petrol prices are no fun.
Registration, Insurance, maintenance, and more
Cars can no longer be purchased by the poor,
Public transport fares will rise
Poverty for many before our eyes
What a miserable sorry state.
Welfare is necessary at this rate
Of affairs, we are in,
Without a mention of
War, Flood, Fire and sin.
Back to basics and common sense
It would help to recompense,
For some of those that feel a need
To cause corruption because of greed.
Greed and power, I can't abide
I need my old bike so that I can ride
So my trusty cycle and I can roam,
To a quiet place to dream alone.
a gaggle of geese, Parades on by
Under a morning sun
They make no sound as they amble by
nor feel a need to run
"Why don't you fly?!" I yell
angry about their pace
"When you can ride the winds on high,
this gift you truly waste"
Then to me one fowl replied
As if my query did offend
"Because we can!" he honked
At least it felt as though he did
"Why do you go back to work?
When there are adventures to be planned
You could even join us
Save your factory needing manned"
And with that they left
Just as quickly as they had come
And alone with my thoughts
Feeling slightly succumbed
"It's true!" I said out loud
I hadn't realized all this time
It was really me who chose to walk
When I should have learned to fly
Which one is your chosen poison?
I dare you to say none
But both you and I know
Out of seven there will be one
Let's go through them one at a time
Come to a possible solution
For if you're going to go to hell
At least know for which Deadly Sin
Are you always yearning for something?
Possessions or wealth, do you feel a need?
Constant thoughts of want on your mind
All bought out by Greed
Sumptuous feasts with plenty to consume
Indulging in delights with no company
Excessively eating more than is required
Extravagance brings with it Gluttony
Desires that need fulfilment
Thoughts and actions to some disgust
Craving pleasures of the body
Satisfying the craving of Lust
What someone else has do you desire?
Think you're better than many?
Jealousy to some it is known
That green eyed monster Envy
Unwilling to get too physical
Lazing around like a loath
Failure completing that which is required
Characteristics common with Sloth
Always in a rage, seeking out revenge
A vindictive nature enabling you to bash
Extreme anger coupled with hate
A furious temper known as Wrath
Belief that you are superior
Always feeling very self satisfied
Called vain on many occasions
This arrogance is Pride
No one is perfect these sins are proof
But now you can try to dispel
Behaviour and actions of any given sin
You may even stay out of hell!
05/02/2016
I dream fragments of poetry,
my pen balanced in my hand,
journal opened to that page
already darkened
with blots of frustration,
asterisks for seemingly important ideas,
collections of words and phrases
intended for collage and inspiration,
pleas for clarity.
My poems appear haltingly,
in bits and pieces
written in several colors of ink,
each suited to the nature
of the several ideas that flit
through my paper mind:
vermillion extracted from cinnabar,
thinned with vodka for my good days;
palest sky-blue from the seed of the avocado
bathed in water and lye,
for those times when I know I can fly;
ocean-blue ultramarine
ground from lapis lazuli,
used carefully when I feel a need for absence;
brown leached from oak galls
steeped in acidic water,
yielding ink such that when employed,
dissolves the paper
beneath the words I have written,
leaving a lacework of poetry;
yellow from crushed petals of the marigold,
soaked in tears for when I am confused,
noir-black dipped from the depths
of my melancholy.
The final poems,
the ones I can live with,
come into focus
only after passage through
the fermentation of language
essential for developing notes
of flowers, stones, and juniper.
Only then are they shared.
I mostly left my Twitter feed;
I somehow did not feel a need
To let the little parasite
Suck joy away from me.
Although I hung onto my phone,
I found that I was far less prone
To see its screen or hear its tone
With so much else to see.
The friends I added to my list
Will never “like” such things as this;
Our stories joined, our updates missed,
Speak more to what is true.
My Fitbit racks no huge amount,
And yet I simply can’t discount
That certain steps are paramount:
The ones I walk with You.
See, tech’s a blessing, to be sure,
No panacea though, no cure.
What ails us most is not its lure
But senses all askew.
So I will follow You, Lord, lead
Me, guide me, be atop my feed.
Yes, be my ever-present need,
Let me abide in You.
Looking inside yourself is no east task
things found there aren't too nice
but you can't ignore for ever
ignorance will eventually charge a price
One so alone so often
even in crowds an only one
but have accepted this years ago
so don't feel a need to run
Within me are two people
one accepted and fluent in tongue
the other stammers nervy and uptight
unable to be otherwise but be stung
In the midst of this is divine knowledge
of having received and found God's love
loved for eternity for no good reason
than God's chosen me from above
But still life's hard to walk
many a bump still along the way
nothing can be done about that
for only God can end it one day
AUTHOR NOTES: I was just setting myself the challenge to look into myself
and then look even deeper and tell what I do believe what's really down deep
inside.
As long as im plugged in, I will stay stressed
It's better to concentrate on the numerous ways I was blessed
I stay connected by waiting on a circumstances to differ
Trying to keep my joy and faking smiles in every picture
Things can be better but I've been keeping myself on hold
But time keeps passing me by as each year makes me feel old
I need to disconnect, become creative, and look for better ways
Keeping in mind that im the one living for me and my days
I need to disconnect and stop living for other people
Disconnect in such a way that our happiness is equal
I seem to endure the hardships and the circumstances of others
Moving an inch when they do which stops me from getting further
My staying connected to this madness is draining me slowly
Im better being by myself, which most would view as lonely
I hate that we're born with the feeling of wanting to be needed
We tie ourselves in a pretzel, with this need and try to feed it
Things we enjoy in life, we feel a need to have to share
Loneliness seems scary so we always need someone there
What would life be like if we enjoyed it for ourselves
Having special moments without involving anyone else
No need for photos because it's one we'll never forget
Becoming one with our inner person, the one we never met.
If you feel a need to smirk,
You can't go past a Merc,
One that is fully electric,
Or at least a hybrid, so you won't feel a jerk,
When cheap petrol is all talk.
Engineered with you in mind,
For peace of mind,
They leave others behind.
With standard features you won't believe,
At prices you can quote with some relief,
As you drive one safely round another bend,
You may wish the ride will never end.
Get a Mercedes Benz,
And you will have lots of friends,
When you show them the space you have for long legs,
And other odds and ends.
If you want to up your IQ,
Test drive an EQA,
Something rather nifty,
That you can charge in a jiffy.