Long Episcopalian Poems

Gaylord Laryngitis was a monstrous human being.    
They say he weighed…at ten years old…at least 400 pounds,
But standin’ 6 foot 7…and because he exercised…
he actually didn’t look real “fat”…despite the way it...

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“liaison dangereuse”



Tear a thin line 
along my skin
softly velvet
finger tips 
no nurses gloves

down my neck
along my throat
with something
sharp like words
on a tongue

like I’m
one of the 
gentility heard
soft as a block of butter
hard from the fridge
I'll...

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Should Have Seen

You should have seen what I saw;
Looked just like my mother in law;
Had been devoted;
Body badly bloated;
She called me a turkey in the straw.

Jim Horn

Think Turkey in the Straw is a dance.

Holy Rollers...

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My Continuous Incredible Poem Series is
dedicated to Will Rogers, Robert Frost and
Ogden Nash who I forever will admire and
use as examples to follow. With them as 
examples how could any of your poems
possibly go wrong....

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God Starts to Mingle

When among us God starts to mingle
There was a feeling just like a tingle
Then moving sensation overtaken by
Out with much joy will start to cry. 

What we want more than anything
Is our...

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Finally went to church today-Ash Wednesday
I went for company, communion and to pray
Liked the new people, what priest had to say
I really felt like I was forgiven for sins today

It used to be only God,...

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Can You Imagine

What else could I possibly ask anyone for
Except poems like mine who people adore
And decided to write more as requested
Hoping that they will be easily digested.

Once absorbed by an ambiguous brain
Even if outside...

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Was Writing A Book

I am starting to think everyone knows
"Spy of Brunswick Town," was Confederate Rose
Read part of book and started to cry;
One day near Fort Fisher she would die.

With belt of Gold she was...

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ead of Reverend should it be Father. That is what everyone else is called.

Uncanny Priest Depiction Picture Contest

This should be your first Church Poetry Contest.
Write a poem that depicts what you are thinking
in your picture.

Saw...

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I have been reading Soul of America, 
Battle for Better Angels lately. What I 
like best about it is the descriptions 
of successful Presidents. Book is by 
Don Meacham who is an Episcopalian 
from Nashville...

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An Anonymious Episcopalian 

No matter what sins you may have done
Episcopal Church always accepts anyone
And maybe you might not pay your bill
Or be an old person like me over the hill.

Could always be late and...

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Episcopalian Even If Italian

When we let leaves fall and hit bottom
Approaching and here is finally autumn
If want something to be highly rated
Must take care of and keep updated.
(Like our parish roster)

For you to find out...

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Which Will Be Correct Trail 

It was not correct trail that I took
Should have been one beside a brook
That weaved through woods nearby
On my instincts and God could rely.

Sun in sky climbed higher and higher
Brightening...

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Will Serve Bread with Wine

Once we did find out where things begin
Have we actually found the original origin
God had used when our earth He built
Like a pattern someone put in a quilt.

All of God's facts...

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Our Priest Told Us To

Our priest told us to be a Trump hater;
That fat slob  who is a  slithery traitor,
God said forbid;
Trump get rid;
Fed to an Episcopalian enormous alligator.

Oh Say You Should Hear...

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Is God Jewish, keeping kosher
and laying down the Law?
[Though the Israelite name 
was unpronounceable--no vowels,
because what human can truly 
speak the name of God....] 

Is God a Roman Catholic,
with an army of saints behind him?

Or...

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Have Saved A Place

When you want hearts not to be broken
Of God's love will need at least one token
Saved from sin for those you have done
Start worshipping Jesus who is God's son.

If it looks like...

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Priest Has Great Looking Hair

Hair looked great when Priest used dryer,
He has become known as prudent pacifier;
With long feet;
Voice so sweet;
Loved choir while wearing their attire.

Choir Never Liked Their Attire

Choir never did like their attire...

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om dead Jesus raised
were dumfounded and amazed
His honor we praised

vituperative
in Congress what they revive
they need to survive

had stood on a bench
were uneasy and did flinch
when killer would lynch

should hear choir sing
along us they had to...

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I was selfish and had to horde the Lord;

Because He was all that I could afford

Poems from Him started to write each day

For perfect relation with him paved the way.




But after a while too I...

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No Matter How Long Ago

Makes no matter how long ago
Or now that God told us so,
Him for example we should use;
Never deny him or ever refuse;
Faces forever will glow and glow.

James Horn, Episcopalian
Whatever that is....

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