Long Easier said than done Poems
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"Bat Crazy 5"
Some say
she was batsh** crazy
life hits the windscreens
in the labyrinth of life
that way
the foot remains pinned
to the metal, fast to the floor
full speed, left brained left hand
holding hard-gripped the gear stick
an upwards inflection, “You know”,
in the Queen’s Land, "all under control"
the open palm under the shaft
moving all the way up to 5,
reflecting on the mirror rearview
she watches the eyes
of her child
dreaming of open highways
the foot remains pinned
to the metal, fast to the floor
full speed, left brained left hand
holding hard-gripped the gear stick
never once moving from 5
the left all the way up to targa 5
right hand up on the wheel
left hand down right up to 5
windows spitting emeralds
like a baphomet
the two finger salute
the other above so below
watches on
"here we go again",
the 1 above it all
watches on
as above so below
that 1's long-suffering
that way, aghast, but resolute,
that 1 has never-ending reserves
of eternal patience
and watches on
perplexed
her mind geared on
how to kill off
a spider
and his sister, next
changing lanes
easier said than done
when you're hell-bent on
Freedom
the highway sign
Happy New Year
flashes ever onwards by,
foot to the floor
left brain baffled
at forgiveness
at Christmas
long gone by
right hand on the wheel
left hand down
open palmed
shifting gears
accelerating increduality
towards the accuracy
in the justice of karma
drivers sitting on both shoulders
inside the vehicle
holding the wheel
the internal speaks
to the universe
listening
for kindness
and answers
on a lost highway
Blue Sky
nods, as if in agreement,
that 1's always amused -
but never confused, that way
(LadyLabyrinth / 2023)
“Is it possible to switch dimensions?
There is currently no conceivable way to get to these if they exist, and they may only be possible, not actual. To travel between realities, they need to be in proximity. To be in proximity and not interact, they need to be incompatible. If it is a compatible universe you could travel to, it is already here.”
"Won’t you let me know,
if you made it home that night
Oh won’t you let me know
If our bones made it home alright..."
Have you ever been in love?
How to even answer that question
Those who have been in love look crazy to the ones who have not
Where you don't even know why you love the person your soul just won't stop thinking about
You try everything to get away from them, so you don't think about them
Because it's just too painful
Yet something appears and you can't help but to picture them
It sounds like an obsession
And you ask yourself are you sick
Why does this person mean so much to me
Especially when I mean so little to them
Does it ever go away
I hope so
I wish you could just detach yourself from what the soul wants
What it needs
Sure you can move on with your life and start over but memories just exist and you can't stop it when a memory just passes by
But walking through that pain is the best way to get through it
Honoring it for what it is
Not suppressing and coping
Easier said than done
At times I think some are addicted to that pain
How do you know if you are in love
Is it ones looks
Is it ones mind
Is it ones belongings
Is it ones title
Is it ones talents
Love has never been described accurately
Just descibed the best way that someone knew how to articulate and write
Many have spent lifetimes trying to explain love
Where others could just feel it in their souls
But that’s just it
Love is a undescrible phenomenon
It only has ever been able to be felt not explained
And if you dont know oneself you will never know
So I ask you
Is your soul awake
Is your heart open
Is your mind balanced enough to receive it when it shows
Love is suppose to recongize love, so I thought
But when you are hindered
When you are guarded
When you are scared
When you do not trust
When you don't know what unconditional love feels like
You will never be able to recognize love for what it is
And before you know it, if you aren't careful
It will just vanish
Disappear
Never to be seen again
Sure you will find a version of what you felt, from someone else
But will that version last
So many seperations, from those who thought they knew love
But they didn't even know themselves, so how could they know love
It will never quite feel the same
And ultimately you will be alone
Sometimes you will get a second chance
And sometimes you only get one
So, I ask you have you ever been in love?
“God like, not so different”
She wrote,
“where do you go to my lovely?”
my response,
“I sink into the screen
like a scream queen goddess,
I am Lilith most of the time
tap dancing away and
singing off key unashamedly
loudly in life out of step, always
out of time, the ballyhoos
clap apathetically warning,
"watch out, incoming, car wreck!",
more like a shipwreck
broken-in-half, sunk in the deep,
treasures scattered on
the seabed, keys missing
loot unreachable
the flotsam of an ego
jetsam to lighten the
sinking load, arriving
amidst the shallows,
half cracked open
on the Ocean's shore,
waiting for the electric storm
to penetrate the brain, then
I become the electric storm
come to defibrillate the broken heart,
the haunting hero haunting heroes
dashed on their cerebral rocks
like Sirens alarmed all going off,
the feet both punctured,
walking over the sharp unopened
and opened broken shells,
mothers of pearls
bleeding stories,
their cornucopia unblessed
blessedly overflowing in the flow
of long nights' bittersweet darkness,
walking from room to room
talking in tongues,
strange and estranged,
adlibbing alienation
through boundless walls,
carrying a heavy cross like a ghost
in a residual haunting,
a storm in a teacup
sometimes passing,
the cake all eaten,
hungry for more
of something;
but on the 7th day I rest
and become God like
pleased with the turmoil
and calm I have jusifiably created,
there I will be seen
heavenly comotosed
resting under the duvee;
I am what I am,
then to the relief
of my monsters,
I fall,
I sleep …
I sleepwalk
commanding them all;
there is no escape.”
“you gotta larf,” she says, "how do you stop?"
the response,
“easier said than done, my friend;
the red shoes are killers to take off."
(LadyLabyrinth / 2023)
ljb - llb, klb, mlb
llb - gvlm
“Most poets are mad. It doesn't qualify us for anything.”
Anne Sexton
“Put your ear down close to your soul and listen hard.”
Anne Sexton
“I am not immortal. Faustus and I are the also-ran.”
Anne Sexton
The Three Graces
The Three Fates
The Morai
8/3/21
When I get drunk I smoke THC like a chain smoker
Never been able to stay sober
A new day and hangover
Stand in the way and it's game over
It's time I take over
These fools can't even play poker
All they care about is their Range Rover
Burn 'em down with a flamethrower
Then follows a strange odor
Dagnabbit
On this planet
At times, I nearly had it
Sick of always being an addict
And such pitiful habits
You'd think I have on a strait jacket
Tearing at the very fabric
Of reality during a Black Sabbath
There's constant racket
And endless havoc
Eventually we all end up in the casket
That's just a given an automatic
Don't be a chicken
And always panic stricken
As of today, nothing safe from being off-limits
It could soon be forbidden
In this odd world we live in
I was able to fit in
Yet I didn't
I don't like religion
Or history because half of it could be fiction
I try to see it all with crystal clear vision
Easier said than done, the same can be said for wisdom
It's global, not just here to Great Britain
There's always competition
And shady politicians
As well as brain washing on the television
This is not no superstition
Or just my intuition
It's going beyond that, regardless of if you listen
A lot of good in the world was overridden
There's more than meets the eye, therefore something's hidden
Meanwhile the plot continues to thicken
Like a diamond in the rough, I glisten
Always completing my mission
Yet no luck with women
To this day
It's sad to say, and the cause of much dismay
No I'm really not okay
Like anyone
I just wanted to be loved
When push came to shove
I turned to drugs
And always got a full mug
Now I'm always numb
And hum to the beat of my own drum
Not proud of what I've done
A lot of which has been dumb
I admit at times when I was young
I was a bum
And often glum
Now I have come from
A long way and then some
At time I can be one
Hell of a son of a gun
Continually I've dug
It was all for none
Ugh
I can't continue to shove under the rug
I need a lot more than a hug
Or a juug
Off another plug
Three days in - three days of school - and it’s like I never left.
In school, you can get oversaturated with screens. I like books.
They have a sense of permanence, they don’t glare back at you,
and I want something physical I can grip, markup and push off
the bed onto the floor when I get over it.
After three days of class, I’m asking (no one in particular), "Are we there yet?"
I can speed-read if I have a pointer - I use cocktail picks (swizzle sticks?) - you know, the little olive skewers you get in a martini? I have a collection from all over the world.
If I go to a bar and they have nice swizzle sticks, I’ll gather a few up. “What are you DOing,” Karen, (Lisa’s mom) asked me as I scarfed up several from patron’s empty glasses at the elegant, Refinery Rooftop bar in Manhattan.
“I have a TON of reading to do,” I explained, helpfully.
“Don’t even ask,” Lisa shrugged, rolling her eyes, when her mom looked confused.
The trick to speed reading is your eyes (and brain) pickup more than you realize and people tend to pronounce things, in their minds, as they read, which REALLY slows you down. So, you swivel the pointer down the page, following the pointer with your eyes, and Walla!
You can’t do THAT with a computer screen. You need a book, and when you have 2 or 3 hundred pages (or more) a night to read, you can’t just hold your breath and refuse - like a seven-year-old - can you? Seriously, I mean, can we? I’m asking - though it’s probably a little late (senior year).
Now, of course, not just any appetizer toothpick or fruit pick will do - the selection process can be rather byzantine. They must be a certain length, about 2 inches longer than my finger, so my hand doesn’t block the text, and square ones are the easiest to grip. Finally, if they have a little arrow-point on the tip? Well, that’s true love.
The problem is, I can get a little intense when reading and they tend to break. When my roommates hear me exclaim, “God DAMN it!” At 2am. They usually know why.
.
.
A song for this:
Easier Said Than Done by Thee Sacred Souls
I know everywhere I've been
And I far from want to be back there again
I have no idea where I'm going
So much for being, over my life, all knowing
I have o more seeds that needs sewing
All I've ever really wanted to do was to settle down my heart
Now I'm finding myself trying so hard to make another start
And I can't look at things around me the same
I love many, but have only known to have been in love once, close to me I will carry his
memory and name
Life's wild constant of some sick and difficult game
And no one is to blame
The love I hold for him was never love that was vain
The miles between him and I are long
And together is where we belong
The cities that separate us are, to me now, a temporary glimpse of fate
Which now causes my heart, mind, and soul, for him, to wait
Sometimes love realizes some things way to late
Everyday he's on my lonely mind
I lie awake in the dead of each night thinking of him all the time
I wonder if he is somewhere thinking of me
He floods my ever-waking moments, and he is right by my side in all my dreams
When all is said and done
I will still forever believe that for me, he is the only one
It never gets any easier, always it's harder as I go
Feel like I'm standing on the edge up so high, as I look down at everything below
And all things happen for a reason, yes I know
But what reason do I possibly have for holding on for so long and so tight
All I know for certain is it don't feel wrong at all, this feels so very right
Maybe from that edge I should let go and spread my wings to take flight
Just disappear without a single trace
Easier said than done so for now I'm stuck in this place
Time going by so fast, yet life happening in the moment seems to pass daily at such a damn
slow pace
And he ever coming back to my arms is against the odds, I understand very much but is
hard for me to face
But I keep hanging on because our moments together and those that should now be, time
can and will never be able to erase
Inspired by "First light"
instrumental.
Green tape instrumentals
record by Evidence of Dilated
Peoples.
Plan my escape out the depths
of inferno
Time wasted as fast as
cigarettes burning
As a fan of this form of art,
back in the day
Listened, learnt, wrote a lot &
I've come to participate
Tailgate dreams, down the
highway of life.
Seems to be the only thing
right.
Roll the dice... Snake eyes...
Once again.
Times like these... Feel like
running low on oxygen.
Or maybe that's because my
lungs are charred.
Need to quit the old habits...
Get a fresh start.
Easier said, than done. Blaze it
up in the dark.
When this nicotine seems to be
sweet as a nectar.
Maybe that's because some
things don't change
Old habits ... are hard to
refrain. From.
Dope addicts know exactly
what I'm talking 'bout
Correct me if I'm wrong but I
ain't. That's a word of mouth
Sun climbing up the horizon
With a beautiful view ...
hypnotizing
1st light... First ray...
Sleepless night. Waiting on a
new day.
Stand all alone... Surrounded
by nothing
The quicksands of time shall
make me suffer
Even in a group of my closest
friends
Feels like I'm distant & all by
myself, Oh well
Guess it's just the way it's
meant to be
Lines cross & don't go parallel
eventually
Or maybe that's because I'm
just plain strange
But none of us on this planet
meant to be the same
We loose & gain... obtain &
conquer...
Then pray for forgiveness
becoming a monster
When it's too late... We start to
wonder...
How could've been the other
way around we ponder
4:30 in the morning... Wide
awake
For a breath moment street
lights darken & fade
With the ground being pulled
out from under my feet
Similar to waking up out 1st
stage of the sleep
Sun climbing up the horizon
With a beautiful view ...
hypnotizing
1st light... First ray...
Sleepless night. Waiting on a
new day.
So you thought you were the stuff, ruff, tuff couldn't get enough. Wheeling, dealing, even stealing, trying to get rid of that low feeling. Wanting to be rich but there's a hitch, it's a straight *****, you run into a glitch, so you switch, turn counterfeit, writing bad checks, wearing a Bolex, even try to sell sex, loose all respect. Now with your new found friends, smoking lots of dope, drinking expensive gin. Hanging, slanging, even start banging, falling deeper into sin, knowing, you can either get dead or wind up in the pen, but you don't give in.
Still hanging tuff, life calls your bluff, wind up in handcuffs, turn into a creampuff. Don't know how you came through, go back to being the same old you, find yourself in another bind cause you're not paying attention to the warning signs, you keep jiving and conniving, walking a very thin line. You continue to kick it on up, run out of luck, spent your last buck, and you are stuck like Chuck. Want to turn the page but you've become a slave, all that mess is no longer fun, say I'm going to change, easier said than done.
Now you are geeking, tweeking don't know what you're seeking. Skinning, grinning, always loosing never winning. So you take a good look, you can see you've been hooked. So tired of feeling depraved, where will it end... In the grave SLAVE... Then you hear the voice of change, which you ignore, again you score, find your self back on the floor, can't take it any more.
So you look to the sky, ask Lord, why me. Because you are your best friend and your worst enemy. This is why you have a Saviour to set you free. Finally, you start to wake up, to listen at last, cause you have found, a hard head, will make a soft ass. In order to live right, you must fight the good fight and you won't be devoured by The Jaws Of Life. So the next time you hear that voice in your head but you do what you want instead, then find your self falling and falling, STOP STONEWALLING, IT'S GOD CALLING.
I never thought things would pan out this way
I figured i'd be alone for ever
No friends needed or required
They were simply not necessary
But here I am now
3 years into the future
I have so many friends
that to please them all
Is a huge feat in itself
So to juggle these friends
Like circus clowns juggle pins
It's really a difficult thing
Cause where does my happiness
fall into this process that's starting
to feel like manal labor
Sometimes I feel like i'm filling to capacity
Trying to please one and than the other
gets mad at me
Why do I always have to be a good friend?
I mean it's easier said than done
Especially when your juggling more than one
Where did all the fun go?
It went right out the window
I need a vacation
A lacky to take my place for a minute
So I can go back to the days of being alone
I'm not saying it was better
I'm just saying back than I only had one to worry about
and that was myself
I'm tired of juggling
How can I fall asleep when I have nothing to look forward to tomorrow?
I'm the walking dead drowning in my own sorrow.
When will this nightmare end? I'm sick of pretending everything's all good.
Maybe when I wished for an interesting life I misunderstood.
I've been counting my blessings for so long. Nothings changed, I'm growing weary. It's draining me to be strong. This pain in my chest never leaves. I wonder if it,ll ever leave? I used to be happy. Now I'm questioning everything I believe. I fake a smile as I'm close to tears, I'm screaming but nobody hears.
You've left me stranded in the dark, not knowing where to turn. Thought I could depend on you. The memory of you is now burned. I've been wandering the same road for so long. Searching for rest and a place to call my own. My body's tired from the weight of everything I'm carrying. The sun now slowly rising, mesmerized my eyes are open and that I'm still conscious. Walking on in the bright horizon.
A new day has just begun and it's time for me to swallow my pride and go on with the show. Even if I'm hurting from head to toe. Been climbing this mountain for so long. Fighting to make it over without falling back down. I haven't truly lived in a while, for as long as I can remember its only been survival. Been trapped in this precipice which felt like forever, until along came September...
Finally something to hold onto. It felt like eternity since I've had some normalcy like waking in a bed. How I missed the feeling of a place to rest my head. Everything seemed better until your malicious endeavors made it hard to breathe. I would ask myself every night as I cried myself to sleep, when will there finally be peace?
Trying to move ahead is easier said than done. I end up feeling stuck instead. Your words cut me like a knife. You've made it clear you'll always be number one and I'll always be next to none...