Long Dwell in the past Poems
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I thought i was strong but the word "sorry" still brought tears to my eyes
When i thought i finally made it then i would fall and break like never before
Healing was even more painful
Bits and pieces of my heart were sewn together
I trusted that everyone around me understood what i was going through
I trusted that they would keep my secrets and give me a shoulder to lean on
But why was i left more broken than before
I used to think being strong was holding on
But even tough stones break
I thought keeping it to myself was avoiding to break peoples hearts
but instead i broke my own heart trying to prove a point
Why is forgiving so easy while forgetting is so hard
Why do i still dwell in the past as if i would get a price if i changed things then.
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time
that is given to us " Quote- by Gandolf
___________________
time- the process of my existence
past to present, I am lost in memories
time passes non-stop, endless and eternally
is time an illusion ?
an hour of minutes
a day of hours, a year of days
sometimes, I dwell in the past for hours
and think with fear for my future
struggling to stay in the present
is time an illusion ?
for I can step into the past so easily
time to do this, time to do that
I want to let go of time ...
it is like a chain around my neck
if I want to be free do I even need time
can I just exist with no ticking clock
is time an illusion ?
I am getting older I can see that myself
years are rushing past me, stop, stop, stop
time takes away beauty in the mirror
but it still dwells within ...
sometimes, I am still a little girl
sometimes, I am walking hand in hand with father
sometimes, having tea with mom
but that is wrong, wrong, wrong
is time an illusion ?
I am running and the clock is chasing me
have not accomplished much really
where did time go
did it ever really matter in my existence
I feel it slipping away
______________________
May 24, 2021
Poetry/Free Verse/is time an illusion
Copyright Protected, ID 05-1357-900-24
All Rights Reserved, 2021, Constance La France
Written for the Premier contest, Time
sponsor, Chantelle Anne Cooke, Judged 05/27/2021
Third Place
Each time I put them the under, They still want to test me
After all that has been said and done
His completions wont complete me, I have divided myself by one
Please stop asking questions...
I am the answer to His riddle
I am the portion of his wind
I am the spoon between tongue and teeth
and I dare not add my revision
for I dare not suffer twice
and I dare not be thy Christ
and I dare not dwell in the past
and I welcome any Khosi sitting in his plastic bench
waiting for joi to go
and I suffer here alone Lord, petted by my evil thought
How I have tried to stripped them from bone to bone
I have struggled and I have fought
Every jealous war intentions smuggled sown into jeans
Every hidden tendencies exploiting me in me
Each time I put them under, they still want to test me
I have been sitting here for what now seems to be an hour
I have raised every kept question from the dead and given power
to my absence of my sanity
Up above the highest testaments, down below the wooden floor..
the sag-gated womb will breach black and blue beneath the hidden door
deep beneath you will find attributes of drunken men who were banging their heads against the dead
each day he tries to stand, an as he stands he stands pressed against the very woman he loves
Kissing eyes and hips, embracing hips...
surrendering to her touch
and just at the valley of the very woman he touches
heart to heart
she pulls from his touch, because it is too much to bare
once they go apart
Don’t tell me not to dwell in the past;
Please don’t tell me to move on.
I cannot do what you ask,
At least not right now behind this mask.
The choices I have made, are affecting my soul,
And each day these dark thoughts grow.
Why did you hurt me? I need to know.
Why did you hit me when I thought you loved me so?
Why did you run away my friend?
And leave my home as empty as your heart?
Did you not think that I would slowly fall apart?
For many days and many nights, I sat and wondered what I had done wrong?
From up on my pedestal I did fall,
and couldn't make it back up alone.
But as the days passed by my heart became less heavy,
and all my scars began to fade.
True friends from near and far,
Built me up as each day did pass.
My knight in shining armour rode steady and pieced back what was left of me
And within that moment that dark cloud lifted and soon my house was once again a home and all signs of you both were gone.
Out of sight, but not from mind- what you have both done to me I cannot hide.
For all the nights we sat up talking, the drunken nights and stupid fights-will always be dear to me. You were my friend, but now you must go.
Faint memories you now have become.
I cannot wish you well my friend, because that you don’t deserve.
But off you will go to the next-
Loneliness there is all you will find
So goodbye you two and please don’t return.
This evil trick you both did play will one day be paid back to you.
Now please don’t tell me to not dwell in the past because that past will aide my future well
Thank you both for all that you have done- it really was a treat!!
Please take this with you as you move on.
I'm always going to be better than you, and of that I can assure you!!!
I'm believing that next year,
will be better than the last,
One thing for sure,
I won't dwell in the past.
I cannot recall,
anything easy or simple,
The entire year,
I'm in pain and a cripple.
I can barely walk,
my hips will not engage.
I feel helpless,
and my temper is in a rage.
I'm not able to work,
you could say I'm a gimp,
Being handicapped,
no place for a wimp.
I can't get no help,
from social security,
Government offices,
run on inefficiency.
I'm not even able to get,
decent medical attention,
This blows my mind,
out of my comprehension.
I have a friend,
who helps take care of me,
Looks like old age,
is not hassle-free.
January first,
I will have Medicare,
They charge me 150.00 a month,
I have not a penny to spare.
I went to court,
a judge ruled in my favor,
This is where,
things began to waiver.
Every month,
I struggle to pay my rent,
Social Security,
gives me grief and torment.
I hang in there,
because this year will be a better year,
If nothing else,
I'm implored to persevere….
TURBO1904
Quote: “It is difficult to say what is impossible, for the dream of yesterday is the hope of today and the reality of tomorrow.” -- Robert H. Goddard
Oh, yesterday, the tales we're told,
In our youth's stories, pure and bold,
With friends close by, we did dance and sway,
In the innocence of yesterday.
Sibling interactions, mischief and fun,
A shared journey under the same sun,
Through laughter and fights, love would grow,
A bond that only siblings truly know.
Mother's love, a guiding light so pure,
Her warmth and care, forever endure,
Father's strength, a pillar standing tall,
Their love surrounding us through it all.
School teachers, mentors with hearts of gold,
Their knowledge and guidance, a story untold,
Nurturing minds, igniting a flame,
In the pursuit of knowledge, they proclaim.
Football and cricket, games we'd play,
The rituals we'd follow, every day,
From the team huddles to victory cheers,
United in passion, erasing all fears.
In the glimpses of the past, reflections appear,
A happy life, a nest we built, so dear,
But now it stands empty, lovebird flown away,
I dwell in the past, searching for love gone astray.
In the depths of my heart, I seek solace and peace,
But the pain of lost love refuses to cease,
Night falls upon me, exes in sight,
Trying to lure my love with no hope in sight.
With a heavy heart, I realize the truth,
Dwelling in the past brings more pain to soothe,
So I bid farewell to the memories that bind,
And embrace the present, leaving the past behind.
It was the last Sunday of the month,
when Providence opened its secret door,
and my longing was granted.
I walked through marble corridors
into the heart of the Vatican Library,
where time breathes softly between the pages.
I asked for only one treasure:
the Vatican Virgil,
that ancient manuscript of immortal verse.
And when it was placed in my hands,
the air shifted—
the walls dissolved—
and I was carried upon the river of centuries
into the Augustan dawn.
There I beheld him—
Vergil, the poet of Rome—
clothed in the fragrance of eternity.
I bowed and said:
“You may dwell in the past,
but your voice still sings within our present.”
From the shadows stepped Pope John Paul II,
his lips reciting verses of Latin fire,
and Vergil’s smile was the echo of ages.
He turned to me and asked,
“Which of my songs has pierced your heart?”
With trembling breath I answered:
“The Aeneid,
your epic of exiles and destinies—
it is the star that guides my nights.”
He laughed softly,
like an oracle who knows the burden of genius,
and whispered:
“Do not seek to wear my crown,
for I cannot be you,
and you cannot be me.
Walk your own path,
and poetry will be born in your footsteps.”
Then the vision faded—
a librarian’s hand rested on my shoulder,
and the manuscript closed its wings of light.
He looked at me, bewildered,
for my eyes were still lost in eternity.
When they asked,
“When did you become a poet?”
I could only answer:
“It began in the Vatican Library,
and each time I write,
I remember Vergil.”
Quote: “It is difficult to say what is impossible, for the dream of yesterday is the hope of today and the reality of tomorrow.” -- Robert H. Goddard
Oh, yesterday, the tales we're told,
In our youth's stories, pure and bold,
With friends close by, we danced and swayed,
In the innocence of yesterday.
Sibling interactions, mischief and fun,
A shared journey under the same sun,
Through laughter and fights, love would grow,
A bond that only siblings truly know.
Mother's love, a guiding light so pure,
Her warmth and care, forever endure,
Father's strength, a pillar standing tall,
Their love surrounding us through it all.
School teachers, mentors with hearts of gold,
Their knowledge and guidance, a story untold,
Nurturing minds, igniting a flame,
In the pursuit of knowledge, they proclaim.
Football and cricket, games we'd play,
The rituals we'd follow, every day,
From the team huddles to victory cheers,
United in passion, erasing all fears.
In the glimpses of the past, reflections appear,
A happy life, a nest we built, so dear,
But now it stands empty, lovebird flown away,
I dwell in the past, searching for love gone astray.
In the depths of my heart, I seek solace and peace,
But the pain of lost love refuses to cease,
Night falls upon me, exes in sight,
Trying to lure my love with no hope in sight.
With a heavy heart, I realize the truth,
Dwelling in the past brings more pain to soothe,
So I bid farewell to the memories that bind,
And embrace the present, leaving the past behind.
”You will forget me, the love we once shared
Has vanished in the attempt at disguise
The dreams we once knew can’t be repaired
It’s gone with the light that once lit your eyes”
And yet, lest I forget, love is an outpouring unconditional
Does my judgmental tirade, relegate love to a trade
Seeking an echo that amplifies clinging yearning origin
Signalling that I dwell in the past memories, living in denial
Oh dear soul, friend and companion of long years by my side
Feel by touch vibrational, imbibing my virgin seeds of love
Do employ not, narrow filters of ego spawned deluded desire
Instead, go in, within into your heart, where my arms beckon
Love is a divine fragrance, enriching, vivifying and enabling
Each time like the first time, making us feel complete
Love alone is, nothing else is, magic within in renewal
Dear heart, with attention softened, feel love within glisten
All love begins with self-love, for we cannot share otherwise
Dear soul, plunge into the vibrant void of joy in fullness
Light refracted through a prism cannot be imprisoned
So feel free, my love, if it is now time to say goodbye
25-April-2021
Choose your form poetry contest
Sponsor: Joseph May
First stanza, contest prompt
When I walked in I didn't know what to expect.
Each room highlighted in light.
A oral tradition. To make ourselves at home upon request.
In reciprocation we do.
The rooms we gather in, the ones we walk past.
The objects we fill to take up space.
The rooms a clear reflection of Spring.
The molding painted white.
I was told that some rooms are not to be visited.
Everything has it's season and this isn't one of them.
Placing blame on the rooms.
I want to explore them most I said.
The ones that go unseen.
The things we rarely shine light to.
The places films of dust continue to grow.
These are some of the best places to go.
The beauty of things we walk past day to day.
The smile unknown destinations can bring.
Cultivating the ideas we keep cluttered.
Gasping for air.
These are the rooms I want to explore most.
The parts of you that you strictly keep to yourself.
Only when you are comfortable to share these rooms with me.
To kiss the floor with our feet.
To dwell in the past staring into our future.
We are the pendulums trapped inside the clock