Long Damaging Poems
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Written: April 24, 2024
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Tread of life
a strand of hair
disassociation
desolation devastation
floribunda flapdoodle
constantly hearing
Voices...
whispering
screaming,
spread their
ivory wings,
fly
in velveteen
sky
Constantly...
berating,
damaging
disparaging
mentally...
unseen torment
pretending
drowning in
unfillable chasm
Trauma...
suppressing
swallowing
existence
dripping with shadows...
When casting spells
seeking peace
amid war
turn off TVs
keep radios hushed
lure of
loathy
illusion
draped in earthy
petrichor shade
splendidly
sculpted from
stardust
bereft of insignia or emblem...
Opus headline
in magnetic bowl
shredded
with a spark
burned in full
anoint ash
on forehead
As Peace Symbol
Then
with a broken gun
on windowsill
east-facing muzzle
align seven shots
heart-shaped trigger guard
shadows shouldn't touch
Then
stir three dove wings
into hot milk
must be flawless
add three plastic
army men
whirlwind
madness
let it cool down &
stir with
olive branch
Dump sharp knife out
sun-facing blade
back spell your name
five times
then step inside &
close the door
etched in
immortal art
of humanity.
If Trump wins...rest in peace - Mother of Freedom
Post mortem courtesy
Doctor Demento yielded
Lady Liberty lies slain...
videre licet knocked senseless
from brutal blows upon her crown
simultaneously shouldering existential crisis
triggered nervous breakdown
though rendered mute
sound of silence doth expound.
Forsooth impeachment hearings
rendered him immune
to chastisement, insurrection
he did foment, blithely
skirting impairment appertain
blood on hands of
self important president,
though alcohol he doth abstain,
nonetheless permanent drunken stupor
doth wax and wain
finger of guilt
damaging democracy points
to him as chief villain
groomed since... time immemorial
atavistic primate brain
bathed (courtesy Frederick Christ Trump)
buzzfeeding chosen favored heir
go for broke – as a red badge of courage
bankrupt countless times
and pulled out all stops,
viz unbridled thundering,
espousing philosophy gain
amass wealth, unscrupulous
if necessary where,
might equals right cold play'n
deadly serious game (Life) train
sight squarely and/or roundly
scattered lovely bones
amidst tombstones testimony
incidental secondary fallout main
part and parcel, where legerdemain,
plus art of the deal linkedin
with immeasurable gloating
ego necessary to gain
con fetter writ oligarchy plain
successfully cheating, hocking,
milking, quaffing, and trending,
yielding dynastic rule
trumpeting eternal and carnal
stormy Daniels reign
vaping with wealthy
zealotry (think vain)
at electorate expense
tampering koolaid acid test
courtesy illegals sown GMO grain
colluding when/where possible,
never losing sight regarding
selfish mission to attain
obligatory ideal tyranny
rampantly running roughshod,
no need to explain
writing sleight underhanded profane
antithetical, critical, heretical quatrain
badgering, belittling, besmirching,
bilking, boasting, bragging with disdain
flagrantly flaunting, fleecing,
regarding purported B.S. degree
in economics he did attain
matriculating Wharton School of law,
hmm... methinks he paid
hireling from Ukraine
forever flirting, flouting, and flunking
even basic geography questions
case in point being
where is Drury Lane
additionally, he ain't
no literati familiar
storied quasi fiction Citizen Kane.
Like the darkness
We struggle to escape
Comes a hopelessness, a fear
Who engraves dread
Across the mind, through the spirit
Inside the one who fails to listen
To the voice of His wisdom
Fear barks orders
To the inner peace
Destroying the silence
With winds of grief
Worries so haunting
They’re beyond deafening
Coloring the sunlight
In apprehensions so dim
It almost feels like
They’re blended with sin
The fright fills the heart
With dissuasion so real
It burns up the wonder
Frees the caged whispers
Of light which reflect
All the joy and beauty
Tossed upon seas of laughter
Filling minds with pleasure
Promises that this worry
Will become only a memory
In the shadows of distress
Pools of melancholy
Reach out to the brokenness
Of one who knows that this is
Despair, dejection, discouragement
Piercing the heart of life
With its sword of misery
Its recession into the fear
That haunts, damaging even
The best courage, all hope
Fear lingers on the soul
Of the one who knows
This darkness is like death
Flickers of uncertainty
Raining defeat into the ears
Of the one who hears
All the ripples of failure
Coursing through the veins
Of this storm, this downpour
Of disappointment, gloom
Yes, it is like a looming
Grimace shading the soul
In trembling despair
Feelings so desperate, so bleak
They feel like light
Can never shine bright enough
To uncover the truth
Fear like this is a prison
But you hold the key in your thoughts
Victory can be found
With only one touch
Of the love that falls down
From the One who gives
Courage to face anything
Any fear, any worry, any dread
He is the answer to destroying
The fear that haunts the soul
With its darkness and dismay
This liquid fear that slithers away
When love is poured out through faith
In the One who brings amazing grace
To teach His children to turn their face
To the heavens where He awaits
And will always be strength so when
They pray – they find the courage
To face any fear, any struggle, any worry
With the love He shines down
To destroy all darkness, all trouble
With a love that is absolutely perfect!
1 John 4:18 King James Version
18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.
Intelligent musical talent begins with this, to relearn the timing within our soul,
But other tactical psychological methods are busy swaying to and fro,
To an obvious yet nefarious covert Rhythmic tyranny of Mind Control,
Damaging trauma appears, disappears and reappears so often - irregardless whether anyone of us - really and actually know,
Although - know; you ought to, and know you must, if we're to avoid their evil demonic end goal, by economic slavery boom and bust,
Why have the masses flocked to what is essentially an obvious Lie..
The hitherto well understood well known treachery of bribery and trickery..to the ill-informed common eye?
Real answers lie within the Agendas of those,
With high unseen well hidden authority of tyranny.. now beginning to be exposed,
The blame so far as we can see for this all pervasive idiocy,
Fits squarely into Ancient Babylonian Occult vile Crypto Supremacy,
An unmentionable taboo for Society, though cleverly socially arranged,
Covertly hostile toward Humanity and our creative force..
By a certain inferiority complexed minority so deranged..
Ah yes - but of course!
A true Dictatorship and Tyranny
can and always will insist..
Upon those that have become uber-Liberal all accepting pacifists..
Those yet behind an otherwise obvious - facade of devious fallacy, don't want you to learn the reasons for the lie,
The mondane so often belies what is hidden within our words; within a sound,
The truth disguised as anything unprofound,
Explanation enough as to the premise of why..
The countless masses are now clearly and sadly being systematically psychologically, reduced to a pitiful state of abhorrent dependency,
We would certainly have to mention and be sure to say,
Please wake up a friend a colleague or a family member now, or at least today,
It is therefore clear that;
an in-depth searching root cause analysis, apparently can be,
Brought about and shared through some insightful poetry..
The written and the spoken word,
Do justice to those that cannot nor would never ever be heard,
So we might then listen in careful piety,
Or do not then be surprised to now find, that there are..
So Many Seduced by Rhythmic Pendulum of Trauma & Absurd Normalcy..
Kurt Hubbard-Beale
28th February 2023
CANCER
I was ten when you invaded our family, when my sixty year old grandfather
died with lung cancer and at that time I never really understood it; but knew
it was a deadly disease for two women closed to our family died earlier with
breast cancer and saw both of them suffering and heard them screaming in pain.
You came back when I was twenty taking my grandmother with stomach cancer.
At least that was one of the causes of her death, although not the primary cause.
You came again and again taking my aunt at forty seven and my youngest aunt
at forty eight with breast cancer that made me live in anxiety and scared of you.
Scared because this disease was in our maternal blood line, although the doctor
assured me, it was not a direct blood line for it was not my biological mother.
I had a cyst on my right breast when I was forty four and the doctor asked to
come back to exasperate it and I told him to do it right then with no reservation.
The result came negative; but your shadow never left me, haunting me.
I was thinking my youngest aunt was only five years older than me and we grew
up together living in the same household, eating the same food, doing the
same things until we separated to live our lives when I was twenty or so.
For five years I lived in your shadow wondering, worrying the cyst would come
back and what would happen to me, to my children and the angst never left me.
I was elated when I turned forty nine for I passed my aunts’ ages of forty seven
and forty eight and celebrated for my fear went away; you were out of my mind.
That was twenty years ago and three weeks ago; you took my best friend’s life.
You are an abnormal cell that invades, grows and divides without control to
destroy the nerves, tissues, organs, blood vessels impairing their functions.
You are a complex disease that can be benign or can be malignant that kills.
Like an ivy, a vigorous and aggressive plant that grows out of control choking
other plants, damaging walls and structures and toxic to humans and pets.
Just like different types of cancer in our society, such as greed, corruption,
brutality, materialism, racism, harassment causing havoc, unrest, chaos, killings.
6/11/21 Cancer Ivy Poetry
Chantelle Anne Cooke
CLEAR BLUE SKIES SOON GIVE WAY TO DARK GRAY CLOUDS
CALM WATERS TURNS INTO AN ANGRY SEA OF WATER
THE FUTURE UNKNOWN AS THE STORM APPROACHES
IT ISN’T AN ORDINARY STORM FOR IT’S NOT OF NATURE
IT IS OF THE FRIENDSHIP WHICH WAS ABRUPTLY ENDED
THE MEMORIES OF THE FUN TIMES SHARED
TIMES THAT WILL BE FOREVER NO MORE
DARK CLOUDS AND THOUGHTS THAT FILL MY HEAD
AS I REALIZE WHAT YOU TOLD ME WAS ALL LIES
AN ANGRY SEA OF WATER IN THE FORM OF TEARS
TEARS THAT ARE BEING SHED BECAUSE YOU USED ME
YOU TOLD ME LIES, THAT REALLY HURTS
I BELIEVED THOSE LIES AND I’M AS ANGRY AS A STORM
YOU BROKE MY HEART AND MY SPIRIT SO UNCARINGLY
I WANT TO RUN, I WANT TO HIDE, I WANT TO SCREAM
BUT I SIT HERE MOTIONLESSLY CRYING AS THE STORM BUILDS
BUILDING INSIDE OF ME IS A STORM OF EMOTIONS
I AM HURT AND SO CONFUSED AND I AM SUFFOCATING
I WANT ANSWERS YET GET NONE REALLY
WELL NOT WHAT I WANT TO HEAR ANYWAYS
LIKE THE WAVES IN STORM, MY TEARS SWELL AND CRASH
CRASHING DOWN ONTO MY CHEEKS LIKE A BURNING WAVE OF LAVA
LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, YOU HAVE LET ME DOWN AND USED ME
I GAVE YOU MY HEART AND YOU THREW IT OUT LIKE YESTERDAY’S GARBAGE
I SHOULDN’T BE SURPRISED BUT I AM, DUE TO MY OWN STUPIDITY
I THOUGHT YOU WERE DIFFERENT BUT YOU AREN’T
LIKE A STORM MY HURT SOON WILL PASS
BUT NOT WITHOUT THE TELL TALE SIGNS OF THE AFTERMATH
IF I COULD ERASE MY MEMORY OF YOU AND THE TIMES WE SHARED
IF ONLY I COULD TURN BACK THE HANDS OF TIME OF MY LIFE
MAYBE, JUST MAYBE IT WOULDN’T BE SO PAINFUL
WHILE I HAVE TO LIVE WITH EVERYTHING I NOW KNOW
WHILE HURTING AS I RELIVE THOSE DAYS OF NOT SO LONG AGO
YOU ARE A STRANGER TO ME AND YET IN SO MANY WAYS NOT
YOU, YES YOU WILL MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE AS IF NOTHING HAPPENED
YOU WILL GO ON AND FIND SOMEONE ELSE TO LIE TO OVER AND OVER AGAIN
SET THEM UP WITH FALSE HOPE JUST AS YOU HAVE DONE WITH ME
JUST AS THERE IS A CALM IN THE MIDST OF A STORM
A CALM THAT LETS WAY TO DAMAGING WINDS
DAMAGING WINDS AND STORM CONDITIONS THAT CROSSES ITS PATH
THIS IS YOU, A STORM THAT I CROSSED PATH WITH
A STORM THAT JUST MOVES ON TO LEAVE AN AFTERMATH OF DESTRUCTION
YOU ARE A STORM OF MASSIVE DESTRUCTION WHO FEARS NO CONSEQUENCE
ALL BEFORE YOU ARE THERE FOR YOU TO DESTROY…DESTROYING ALL THAT IS GOOD
YOU ARE THE STORM THAT CLEAR BLUE SKIES GIVE WAY TO
Form:
while at work, droning through the 9 to 5,
or the 10-12 hour beat down for us unlucky saps
the jaws of the shark come crushing down
bringing waves of pain through remembrance
a place in the past that provides a better feeling
than the current predicament &
so many questions arise, like putting oneself on trial,
where the “who, where, how & why” end up fizzled with
the overall “what” that happened---
here is the warmth of the moments that will not leave,
that one wishes never to erase, all jumbled up in a cruel
conglomerate with those that could be gotten rid of---
or is it that we romanticize the past?
might it be true that the “best of times” which we dwell in,
wading round with, as if in a luxurious jacuzzi,
were in fact not as perfect as we pretend that they were &
since there are no witnesses present to corroborate this new line of
questioning, there is no new evidence to submit---
it is still all hearsay & yet the indictment should be made,
the self looks around at what it truly has become, regardless of
what it thinks happened in the past &
if it is honest with itself, the self wants to press charges---
yes, this criminal, who with sinister shifty eyes walks amongst the
many quarrelling selves within,
has no morals,
has no objective &
seeks only to create fantasy---a fantasy which can prove to be quite
damaging,
given the right extension of time, where the memories that one
believes they have, finally take over---
people clench onto piles of pictures full of groups of people that they will
never see again &
they spend all day on facebook, singles sites & social forums online,
chatting to those that they will never meet,
walking a tightrope between what is supposed to be memory &
what is supposed to be a foundation of present personalities,
coming up completely empty on both accounts,
wishing for a day when things were better &
imagining that they had been, for a place to compare the now,
in which they perpetually wallow---
so what is more frightening?
to believe that things were better in the past & to dwell on them until your mind explodes, because you know you can never go back in time to stay there,
or to believe that things really weren’t that great in the past as you had once thought,
therefore understanding that they never really have been?
Chop Chop Chop
Differences in swings
Chop Chop Chop
Change up the tempo
Chop Chop Chop Chop
Ill make a difference in them
Chop Chop Chop
If I trim a couple of edges itll be perfect
Chop chop chop
They’ve been my friend forever
Chop chop chop
Well I’ll go out with them once it’ll be fun
Chop Chop Chop
Why does this feel so good
Chop Chop Chop
Just one more hit, it’s just to relate to them
Chop Chop Chop
Im only trying to help, I’m just doing God’s work
Chop chop chop
What has happened to me?
Chop Chop
Why do I feel so dull?
Chop
Why do I hurt?
Chop
Stops
Your axe is dull
Nulled by the continuous swings at your joy
Your peace
Sweet release from small victories of
“I have no one else”
“You mean so much to me”
It’s all a plea to search for something that they long for
Because of comfort?
Because of formalities?
The struggles that we face
Are a result of the people we embrace.
So you replace His grace with their embrace
And by doing so you lose traction of your place trying to affect them
But in turn falling to the misery and infecting yourself with change
To disarrange your being,
your personality
It’s the analogy of “Iron sharpeneth iron”
But now the iron is dull,
The Damascus has lost its edge
Because of supplemental wetrock
When we chop into the wood of people
And we chop and chop to find worth
but in the end, they’re the ones that get hurt
by dulling yourself and damaging them
condemning the Idea of ever being loved again
So then you try and make it work,
And result in settling for less
So you digress the values of manhood
and add the boys who only get with girls to hide their insecurities.
Minus the beauty stolen from girls who add make up to make up, of who that guy wants them to be,
that double negative alone, equals a positive pregnancy.
And so she carries the baby along because that boy was reduced to a coward.
So his whole life ended up being devoured, now she can’t sleep at night because she cries for hours,
don’t you see this equation is missing a higher power.
And so I plea with desperation in my words,
To be able accept that people change for better or for worse
But to know the difference can cost you your worth.
April 1 Relationship to God Bible Meditations Based on 1Kings 14-16
Key Verse –1Kings 14:15 For the LORD shall smite Israel, as a reed is shaken in the water, and he shall root up Israel out of this good land, which he gave to their fathers, and shall scatter them beyond the river, because they have made their groves, provoking the LORD to anger.
LORD GOD, YOU ARE MY INIQUITY-SMITER
Lord God, You are my iniquity-Smiter along my shameful childishness
Thank You for checking my lack of reason due to my foolishness
I repent from feigning myself before Your righteousness
Help me follow Your commandments with earnestness.
Lord God, You are my iniquity-Smiter along my perilous rage
Thank You for blocking my evil thoughts that hinder my courage
I repent from indulging myself in sin’s vain wastage
Help me choose Your ways by Your guiding vantage.
Lord God, You are my iniquity-Smiter along my fatal jealousy
Thank You for transforming my attitude with Your truth and mercy
I repent from burying myself in humanistic tendency
Help me submit to Your leadership’s holy fervency.
Lord God, You are my iniquity-Smiter along my obvious imperfection
Thank You for correcting my shallow dedication and skin-deep devotion
I repent from presenting myself with hypocrisy’s passion
Help me do my part in the fulfillment of Your great commission.
Lord God, You are my iniquity-Smiter along my carnal involvement
Thank You for arresting my compromises of damaging engagement
I repent from immersing myself into worldly allurement
Help me abide in Your will midst Your perfection-enablement.
Lord God, You are my iniquity-Smiter along my fleshly might
Thank You for directing my walk toward Your throne’s light
I repent from encamping myself against Your protective sight
Help me stay in Your compassion’s delight.
Lord God, You are my iniquity-Smiter along my futile vanities
Thank You for illumining my vision through Your Word-certainties
I repent from hiding myself against worship-filled duties
Help me stand upon Your strong foundations of eternal verities.
April 1, 2023
IN A NOWHERE LAND
I feel like a crazy, mad woman,
chafed and losing my patience.
Feeling so bad, ready to explode
or needing desperately to explore
and get lost to point of no return
or to find a nowhere land.
The nowhere land that is hard to find.
The land where there is humanity
with humaneness, benevolence.
And there is togetherness and unity.
I want to be a nowhere woman,
in a mystical or nowhere land,
living and wandering like a nomad,
a gypsy, a rolling stone, a vagabond,
where I don’t have to witness the divide,
and the selfishness of humankind.
When is this troubled time going to end?
This point of time full of unrest, discontent.
Ongoing protests on multiple causes,
opportunists trashing businesses,
looting, stealing, damaging properties,
the law enforcements’ brutality
and now the deployments of federal
forces to deal with ongoing protests.
There is also ongoing uncertainty.
The contagion with it’s sweeping upturn
with no sign of slowing down or downturn.
Everything around is so out of control
with unmasked people walking around,
group gatherings and no respect of others.
Life just goes on with no direction,
it appears fuzzy with no explanation.
You cannot even go down the bend
without feeling exposed or guarded.
Days, months passed by and gone,
like they were snatched, taken or stolen
without a trace, like we are in a trance.
Life goes on; but missing any substance
like no importance to remember or embrace.
No color, without depth, meaningless.
I yearn for all the things I used to do,
I long for my freedom to just go,
I miss the friends I used to see regularly,
I’m longing for the fire and feeling zesty
that dancing with gusto brings me.
I miss the poetry readings that move me.
I want to be a nowhere woman
in a mystical or nowhere land,
a land free of the chaos going on,
a land untouched by the contagion,
living and wandering like a nomad,
a nomadic, free-spirited woman,
safe and at peace.
8/31/20 Completely Your Choice Brian Strand
any form any theme
judged on 9/1/20, received N/A
9/28/20 N-A Re-Run 11 Poetry Contest John Hamilton