Long Crumpet Poems

Long Crumpet Poems. Below are the most popular long Crumpet by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Crumpet poems by poem length and keyword.


Humour Therapy

Is there a humour therapist in the house?
Sitting here, chortling, do not grouse,
If you abuse crumpets, men,
You undermine your own best interests, do you ken?
Then you don't get crumpet, men,
Or is men a rude word,
 You're reaping what you've earned,
You want a cup of tea from me?
Chortle, the magic word is please!
You would not believe this ham,
Feeding the world this spam,
You want fresh vegetables?
Frozen food, not dementiable,
You can get another better than me,
So, what's wrong with you, prithee,
Yes, the catering staff is on a sitdown strike,
You'd best find yourself a loving wife,
Chortle, shut up snivelling, you grouse,
Is there a humour therapist in the house?


Premium Member Reverie

Drift in and out of the moment
Life is just a splash
So drench yourself in the madness
And when it becomes too much
 Cool off in the sweet Reverie
Where you'll find the cool cats
Swapping stories of glory
For bootlegger straps
And folded crumpet wraps
And then let the smooth sounds
Fill your soul 
The greatest music
Is born in the heart
It rises through the chest
Vibrating vocal chords
The cry of a rebel
Here in the Reverie
We're a bunch of lost souls
Who never had a home
So wiggle into a booth
See the world for what it is
Eyes glistening
Shining like neon lights
Life is just a splash
Drift in and out of the moment

Premium Member Hi Hey Ho


Connor Constrictor 
crept through the carpet.
Marianne Marmot 
marched through the market
singing, “Hi hey hi hey hi hey ho!”
Boys and girls join in singing,
“Hi hey hi hey hi hey ho!”
 
Tutu Toucan 
turned to and fro
while Wally Walrus 
watched in slow mo.
Singing, “Hi hey hi hey hi hey ho!”
Boys and girls join in singing,
“Hi hey hi hey hi hey ho!”

Kami Chameleon 
chewed a crumpet
and Tommy Tortoise 
tuned up his trumpet
playing, “Hi hey hi hey hi hey ho!”
Boys and girls join in singing,
“Hi hey hi hey hi hey ho!”

All the animals
clamored for more,
more of the funny
musical score
singing, “Hi hey hi hey hi hey ho!”
Boys and girls join in singing, 
“Hi hey hi hey hi hey ho!”

Bazball hogwash buffet menu


Bazball pimps now shrimps on the barbie

So low did stoop scoop of Nincompoop soup

Trumpet the thump it Bazball strumpet crumpet


Bravado of trio with brio plus lardo & avocado

Braggadocio Pinocchio mumbo jumbo gumbo

Bizarre under par no cigar mis-steak tartare

Phony baloney mony mony minestrone


Fish & swish delish dish of death wish Gibberish 

Wacky ego from hero to zero tacky shi*show taco

Don’t give a f*ck not once but twice spliced duck


Flame grilled chances spilled one trick pony

Gobbledygook spooked overcooked zabaglione


Slurry in a hurry won’t worry say sorry curry

Baggie green vented spleen terrine
 
Why would you even risk it brisket

Takes the proverbial herbal verbal biscuit


Ashes hope killer dope quesadilla

Oz supernova it’s already over Dover sole

Lamb to the ripsnorter slaughter

Drole rigmarole goad toad in the hole


Baz puns like Mao’s guns in bao buns

Gory no glory story does bore me Tandoori

Bazball goals down golf holes silly sausage rolls 


Canned slices of fanned tanned Barmy army

Starc tsunami lark umami like spiced pastrami

Bavette baguette of bet will forget any regret

Baz & Ben flower pot men smarmy salami 


Stumble derails still no humble pie tales

Scallops with dollops of lolloping Codswallop

Bazball boast spit roast with burnt toast trollop

Snipe this tripe is as ripe as our Gripe


Gabbatoir bete noir Pom bomb Dauphinoise

Done like a kipper without Warne’s flipper

Stellar Aussie fella mortadella from the cellar


Hoodwink stink of our skipper.. all cheesy hype

Shocker if this is our Test best.. zest of fu*k fest 

In the locker of Davy call in the navy cos Bazball ain’t gravy
Form: Rhyme

Premium Member In Summer's Red Sunrise

In summer's red sunrise
Shadows cast of golden yellow
A time of day when dreams take flight
All nature's sounds are quite mellow

The dove's hollow voice, somber clarinet
Against the mockers' noisy trumpet
Now the sun rises higher, higher
As one might slowly eat a crumpet

One thing in life we can count upon
Water will run to the lowest point
Unless something designed by man
Suddenly changes its viewpoint  

The rising sun cast its beams across the hill
And then cast pecan tree's shadow
Way out for so many feet it seems
It could go on and on forever flow 

A shadow cast by a big man might seem grand
But sometimes in life, he needs crutches to stand 

Remembering Former President Of The USA, John F. Kennedy
Form: Rhyme


Premium Member Flowers

Forsythia my friend, I still cannot not discern, 
does a fiddlehead unravel into a lacy fern?

Lilly pads, flowered floating seats for fortunate frogs.
Monet’s favorite plant at his Giverny bog. 

Orchid. This word becomes a lyric in a beautiful song.  
A flower that is elegant, tranquil, and calm.

Wisteria emanates from little pea shaped blooms,
giving us a lavender, lovely perfume.

Echinacea, “Gazuntite”
A cousin to the daisy, whose name sounds like a sneeze.
Lovely on a table with a crumpet and some tea.

Rhododendrons, so large, pink and scarlet.
A shrub so thick and quite exotic.

Snapdragons are not dangerous at all, they often bloom right into fall.
Those ruffly, curly, open leaves, beg " Come in for lunch, honey bees"
Form: Acrostic

Dollop of codswallop or splash of balderdash



They don’t give a monkeys

You’ve read what they’ve said

These flunkeys are off their head 

Braggadocio pinocchio junkies


Baz cronies nutter baloney utter

Phoney show ponies in the gutter 

Stutter one more flutter then splutter

Aussies like a knife through butter  


The death of a nation..us all pining for Bazball’s fine dining/opining alright whining degustation;


Amuse bouche (louche with a bag of douche);

Golly gosh Hogwash

Humpty Dumpty Numpty

Total scrotal Tosh


To start (brain fart);

Fish have another swish

Trumpet Bazball strumpet crumpet

Dish of death wish Gibberish 


To cleanse the palette (God dammit);

Far too mellow sickly sweet lemoncello

Take a mallet to the Bazball planet (grief aperitif & digestif)


Entree (naysay it's okay.. the way we play come what may every bloody day);

Ruddy veteran fuddy duddy buddies bash

Splash of rash & brash

Off stump chump slump rump

Dash..lash then crash

Flash Balderdash hash 


Desert ( just desserts)

Teasing wheezing ego pleasing Trollop

Dollop of Codswallop

With a twist of narcissist mist (you get the gist)


Cheese board (traditions ignored)

Aussie gloat aged goat

Camembert despair

Double header immature cheddar

Out fought and out thought Roquefort

(served with they're crackers and in a bit of a pickle)


Petit Fours (flaws encores & guffaws);

Scoop of NincomPOOP

Tasty bit of hasty bullshi*

Peacocks big bolloc*s 

Tripe as ripe as our Gripe


You don’t get a coffee because like Test cricket they can’t do it for toffee
Form: Rhyme

Premium Member Perusing the Tea

Perusing the tea, what it brings, vitality, refreshing, or tranquility.

tea’s altruistic -
the elixir gives itself
to succor ailments

I warm leaves up when my hands and feet are icy cold. The boil arouses my expectations. The raucous kettle poured over a roomy sachet.

the tea bag’s floating -
my bobbers are on its craft
as the scent surges

My hands rejoice as they gently wrap around the cup and rebound. When the minuet knells, the unfurled dose is tossed and what remains is to be enjoyed in a calm and comfortable setting, ideally with pretty things and perhaps a nibble of treats.

lift from lace doily -
a sip of essential oils
and crumpet or two

What’s better than to sit across from special friends. The setting of a magnolia tea house or with one’s teddy bears.

little ones practice -
imagination infused
with love’s sugar cubes

Perusing the tea, what it brings, essence to our lives.
Form: Haibun

Premium Member On the Verge of Sanity's Eclipse

Howling winds flung me into the sea
waves lashed kelp ropes around me
my belligerence grew when I was seized
anger brewed the tighter they squeezed

With fists raised and teeth clenched
I resisted the harder they wrenched
voice rang out in acrimonious scream 
my face contorted, wild eyes agleam
spittle dribbled from cracked lips
I neared the verge of sanity's eclipse

Man is but an elfin grain of sand
a mortal never has the upper hand
when wrangling with a sea of thunder
I was punished and plowed asunder
beneath coral reefs to ocean's floor
I cursed until I could no more

My swearing wails echoed my destiny
retched was my body from an angry sea 
briny foam spit me on the rocky shore
done with me like an oft beaten whore
My crime was that I'd chosen wrong
the one I loved became my swan song

Piercing needles of torrential rain
burning injections increased the pain
such bitter tea, the cruel sea can steep
I, a crumpet, tossed in restless sleep
© Lin Lane  Create an image from this poem.
Form: Rhyme

Premium Member Breakfast With Strangers

While eating a fancy crumpet
I heard an elephant’s trumpet.
Enormous trees began falling.
The huge gray ones way of calling.

I was the first one out of that place.
Running a true survivor’s race.
I could hear people on my heels.
Never turned. Jumped in my wheels.

Got to the edge of the forest with three
Unknown people in the cab with me, 
Two in the back seat screaming keep going!
Some aliens too, and they were a glowing!

We did not celebrate until we were far away.
Sat and ate breakfast together the very next day.
“What were those things?” the aliens asked me.
“What are you?”  asked the other three.
Form: Rhyme

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