Long Blaster Poems

Sonnets XC-XCVII

Artificial Smile
by Michael R. Burch

I’m waiting for my artificial teeth
to stretch belief, to hollow out the cob
of zealous righteousness, to grasp life’s stub
between clenched molars, and yank out the grief.

Mine must be art-official?zenlike Art?
a...

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"Oh, indeed she was, young man ... I mean Greg. It IS Greg, if I recall correctly?"
     "Yes. Or you can call me True Friend if you like." I turned to...

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Please help yarn hexed door neighbor...

Yours truly pinned down by invisible 
vestiges of coronavirus and
getting attacked from angry plague 
of buttons, plus huge spools of yarn
grossly mistook me for human sock 
to seal and line...

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They say I write magic 
like I was granted a wish from the genie in Aladdin
An stole Kazaam boom box an secret patent Latin verses from canibus
While using cannibus as incense listening to BOB Marley...

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Wergle Flomp Good Humor 2023

The following constitutes a rather 
twisted as a pretzel SUBTITLE:

I dash with my jiggling boobs in an attempt to escape... 
being overrun by teddy bears and beanie babies
while carrying out heavy...

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A (growing) menagerie of stuffed animals And Beanie Babies

The following doth constitute
combination of fact and fiction
unfortunately not sentences
referencing overactive spousal glute
though sphincter roaring
could muscle us into ample loot
(after wife explodes open bank vault)
versus ass spire...

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which prime mate affectionately called buttock blaster
alimentary explosion ofttimes causes global disaster
upon such gaseous debacle run for your life ever faster!

Yours truly (humorously dry husband)
can definitively attest,
she (thee missus) nixed, ordained,
inured, espoused blessed
discrete frolicsome liaisons...

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Blech - impossible mission to savor mug of ginger tea...

When the entire mug awash
with floating leavings
by golly by gosh,
sipping said herbal brew
analogous challenge
to eat spaghetti squash
with one chopstick.

Earlier yesterday February twenty fourth
two thousand twenty four
found...

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GEORGY BUYS A CAR

                         A man named Georgie had a few--
...

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One stormy night in Magalluf, it rained and rained it rained all day 
By half past ten we'd had enough, time to call it all a day 
Then we heard some music playing, the sweet...

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Rigorous sphincter ani externus muscle workout

Amidst the rubble strewn landscape ruins
courtesy healthy helping of prunes
linkedin to derrière issuing
melodious flatulence classical tunes,
yours truly renown buttuck blaster,
possesses wide ranging repertoire
ofttimes employed
as poignant powerful score
within battlefield documentaries
trademark trumpeting...

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one in twain yet marked on a blotted page clearly intact through the surface
crimes of passion stirring inside my brutal egg shelled head summon the dead
each of us goes through things another door bell tends...

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Xxvi+ marriage  anniversary (mine)
recalls first disastrous
date with future missus
approximately waltzing 
matt tilde two dozen
plus years ago

Tex Mex Connection
201 E Walnut Street
North Wales, Pennsylvania, 19454
every entree included beans
maybe refried or otherwise

effectively laid siege
mine delicate constitution
quickly...

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(alternately titled one me silly more till manufactured 
from go win addle American 
non refundable private parts) 

each set of twenty three chromosomes 
the basic biological building blocks
of life came out cervix 
when second hand...

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The Bad, The Ugly and The Good  (aka: Bad, Badder, Baddest)


The Bad
I am the gun-toting, God-fearing Ganja Gangsta.
I’ll smoke you, pray for you, then have my daily siesta!
I answer to no one, and fear...

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Take my hand and you will be lead out of the storm
that currently is engulfing the northeast section of the county
Driven winds,hurricane screams,white-out darkness,mid-december creams
us with 3 inches per hour of the nasty powder fallen...

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Over ten worms then? In coats. Goggles? Flight then. Huge paper bees. Altitude 4 on curvatures rattling over the field,fauna and hedgerows. Boom boom boom beasts coming. Mooooving across the territory pulling dragging. When old...

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twas the bright idea of zee missus aye air
and dedicate this poem
(yes tis correct, if you bare
lee remember this mister

did formerly she push duck clear
addressed said spouse
"my little buttock blaster" en dear
ment - for obvious...

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my keyboard  sometimes sticks and snarls up my story
went to the store and got  jiffy lube and what a glory
my fingers slide across the letters typing faster
did a quick  hit of the...

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" On Line "
 
I want one of those computers
Superconductor duper super science fiction 
Like in the films you see
Where the female efficient voice
Tells me everything is working properly
 
Punch up my memory boost and...

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CHEPH111 CHAPTER FIFteen 
CHEPH111 CHAPTER FIFteen 
The BOY on MARS 
 
“His hair is green and red the same time” said the Matron IOLA ewe 
Charlax android one spoke to STOKKER “be carefull drinking that...

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POSSUM JUGGLING  
  Written By the Poets Listed After The Poem.  
  
Possum juggling is a trick conjuring sport.  
You should never do it if your arms are short. ...

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Chapter Fourteen: Cheph111 : Martian BOY 
 
STOKKER looked up from his study of the prints you knoe MarYlin there was a 
cave off in the distance not very far and eye noticed some movement...

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Emerald Faerie Princess was eager to Find Lord Dragon Master
She had heard that he could fly her to England much faster
So many said he would be hiding in a farmer’s sweet pasture.
She used her magic...

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The series "Despicable Me," 
			we've flocked to theaters to see.
			Wee minions--cute creatures--
			and bad guys each features.
			To all we respond with great glee.

			I never dreamed five years ago
			that I would soon dash to and fro
			in search...

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