Long Anima Poems
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Unlike natural humane organisms,
like toad
and squirrel
and goldfinch bodies and brains,
Spiritual humane organisms,
like toad
and squirrel
and goldfinch matters and minds,
remain unchanged
by my perception
reception of them v us
as separate,
even laughably autonomous spirits
rather than One EarthTribe Holonic Laughing Spirit
Of interdependent integrity
with win/win
left-dominant/right-prominent
west/east
north/south
ego/eco-politically good-humored intentions
for multicultural empowerment
against monotheistic disempowerment
of all these natural
and spiritual
humane nature/spirits,
unseparated.
Natural bodies
do not share this uniting equity
between separate embodied perceptions,
merely sober secular,
and One disembodied unlistening God
stubbornly refusing to open ZeroZone Original Soul
of interdependently uniting re-creation
without uniformly uninviting
reduction of humanity
to win/lose violently inhumane capitalists,
Evolutionary devolutionary
inevitable mortal soul lose/lose terrorists,
anger inflamers
fear-mongerers
suffering blamers
decay re-arrangers
degenerative fragmenting managers
of separately supremely un-natural
absence of peace history.
Spiritual matters and minds
uncover no natural body and brain differences
in-between One radically Sacred EveryWhere and Time
and No fundamentally secularized timeless place in NotParadise Hell
Interdependently re-articulating
this perpetually changing,
growing
knowing
discovering spiritual mind as rational matter
and natural brain within neurally interdependent bodies
Integrally open, not industriously closed,
Organic, not just technologically useful,
Refining health, not so much defining materialistic wealth,
EarthTribes spiraling synergetic ZeroZen
Holy Enspirited
Win/Win Soul,
West/East dipolar co-arising Anima Mundi
fundamentally EitherRight/OrWrong RightWing
and evangelically BothNatural/AndSpiritual LeftWing
gospel multicultures
living together, not apart,
for GoodHumored MotherParadise,
Natural systemic healthy/wealth purpose,
inside spiritual polycultural communicating communion,
polypathic
polyphonic
polynomial Zero
Zone of nature/spirit heuristic separation
with not quite so much LeftBrain dominating demand
for embodied definition
through nature v spirit segregation.
Remembering the Past
Tito is Tagalog of Uncle
Tito David Rodriguez and Tito Willie Totanes are very good friends
Up rising Star-Ms. Jacqueline R. Mendoza
Tito David recruited me to Filipino American Multimedia Entertainment (FAME)
on the 90’s
Tito David is a Filipino model, journalist, actor in FAME
Up rising Star-Ms. Jacqueline R. Mendoza
Tito Willie Totanes strongly supports me
He drives me around the bay area
Uprising Star-Ms. Jacqueline R. Mendoza
Tito David is Also a base in Anima Christi choir at St. Andrew, Daly City CA
Both of them are supporting me
Up rising Star-Ms. Jacqueline R. Mendoza
Directed by the late Mr. Jesse Pangilinan
Who passed away
Up rising Star-Ms. Jacqueline R. Mendoza
Supported with Mr. Prospero Luna
A Retired Comedian and actor in the Philippines
Up rising Star-Ms. Jacqueline R. Mendoza
Knew by my late father
Mayor Leonardo G. Mendoza
Up rising Star-Ms. Jacqueline R. Mendoza
Mayor of San Pascual, Batangas City, Philippines
Returning to FAME
Up rising Star-Ms. Jacqueline R. Mendoza
I would sing all throughout the Bay area
Had shows
Up rising Star-Ms. Jacqueline R. Mendoza
Sang at some Filipino gathering in SF, CA
Concert on October 11, 1998: Outrage on Stage Launching my only Song-Through the Eyes of a Child
Up rising Star-Ms. Jacqueline R. Mendoza
Would Sing in Karaoke beer house
At restaurants and parties in the bay area
Up rising Star-Ms. Jacqueline R. Mendoza
Sang in Westlake Shopping Center in Daly City, CA
Also sang in Serramonte Mall in Daly City, CA
Up rising Star-Ms. Jacqueline R. Mendoza
Met the Asia’s Song bird of the Philippines
Ms. Regine Velasquez
Up rising Star-Ms. Jacqueline R. Mendoza
And the Song Writer
Mr. Ogie Alcasid
Up rising Star-Ms. Jacqueline R. Mendoza
Tragic Car Accident happened
On October 11, 1999
Up rising Star-Ms. Jacqueline R. Mendoza
The late Director Jesse Pangilinan passed away
FAME disbanded
Up rising Star-Ms. Jacqueline R. Mendoza
As of now a client of Heart Soul’s True Hope
In North County, Daly City, California
Up rising Star-Ms. Jacqueline R. Mendoza
God took my singing career and He changed it to Poetry
He changed it to a harder one because I have to learn poetry but I’m having fun
Up rising Star-Ms. Jacqueline R. Mendoza
2022 Polar Vortex - Across Wide Band Of North America
Power outage here within
mine happy hunting grounds
(as well the ghosts of Lenni Lenape),
viz Perkiomen Valley, Pennsylvania
December twenty third
two thousand twenty two wrought
(lasting greater part of twelve hours)
impossible mission to keep warm
generating body heat
necessity courtesy three dog night,
sure as I'm sitting here
nevertheless found yours truly
yearning for global warming
while dentures chattered
a mile a minute then jumped
out me mouth
and scrabbled, scrambled
and scratched along floor
leaving corpse like body abed
stiff as a board
dead cold analogous,
when rigor mortis
grips lovely bones
immune to brutal cold.
Ordinarily, the weather
considered non trees
son us, a neutral subject on par
with non nose
wrinkling odoriferous cheese
usually ranks as minor distraction,
without whether yours truly agrees
or not, except
during balmy temperatures,
an unavoidable tease,
whereat sub zero degrees,
whether Centigrade or Fahrenheit
demands human sacrifice
(me anima knocking knees),
no negotiating with Ole Man Winter,
he requests (lest
he continue deep freeze
maelstrom until the end of time),
nothing 'cept a healthy seas
sunned *****sapien to appease
his insatiable appetite
froze to the core,
when all body functions cease,
thus until onset of frostbite disease
transformed me into a human popsicle
obliging surrender of self,
no matter I always minded "p's"
and "q's", and adhered
to selfless decrees
not until that moment - this me's
lee sad excuse e'en for missing link,
said personal radar of this primate
suddenly went haywire madly wheeze
zing, as if giant hand (some
harried styled swiftly tailored
paw) did squeeze
traumatizing, suffocating, mangling
constricting, asphyxiating... sensation
(surprised muss elf, and all my enemies,
hence survived death as a breeze)
when similar to Socrates
ill fate found him downing hemlock,
necessitated, I reluctantly quaffed antifreeze
as preservative, plus
out of necessity to survive
being clobbered, buffeted,
assaulted...finally please
zing lee melting titanic iceberg
more bearable on par with a sneeze
than compared to frigidity
of writer's block.
Seems my handwriting will never improve,
Yearlong efforts, letters still oblong.
Not quite right, but we pretend it’s not all bad,
I fixate on each line, a prerequisite approach.
So next and then that line and its spacing, proper
striving for excellence, sentence, cursed to find
some semblance, a distant echo. Earshot.
Eardrum. POP!
Outward rang disdain, my reality indifferent,
Marks resembling a bell curve in chicken sketch,
It distorts my outlook, tarnishes self-image.
I try with practice sheets laid out,
Only to be reminded of the horrors I scrawl within.
Devastating, humiliating,
Suppressing nausea,
Sick of this, hating my own thoughts,
Ruining half-decent poems or ideas.
Regardless of merit or talent shown,
sent into the fire.
scribe on restroom walls
its contrived and
makes me writhe.
I discard writing tools,
My creative well runs dry, deceased,
Gone, past tense, already done in.
Progress slower than a snail,
with kidney failures
Skull soon exposed.
I’ll tear at my scalp,
Writing used to be fun.
You'll say, 'shut my trap'.
The torment I hold towards
every pen, pencil, or marker on any shelf.
Chasing after graphite,
specific utensils, lead grade, ink, acrylic,
I want them gone, obliterated,
Every trace, every hint.
EXTINGUISHED EVERY PEICE OF
. . .
Sorry, I get carried away...
This heretic! The disappointment,
Frail and brittle behind every attempt.
All result in zero, void, null, nil.
Here I sit, head in hands,
My task forever incomplete,
More setbacks, my drive
and desire to compete.
Now I understand why progress is elusive, unseen.
Hard-scoped when each step shown seems hopeless
rooted in the waste of regression.
I would be remiss if my speech lacked spirit.
Results: Inconclusive
Next topic: I digress,
I relinquish anima,
Lay to rest a thousand eyes’ constraints,
Seeking arrangements through attainment.
If there's space to graze, then seize the day.
Something bountiful in the invisible,
Nature's beauty in the winds of change,
Wrinkles on sheets of belief,
A moment for molecules deem insignificant,
Nested in the fabric of space-time,
An embarrassment that's all mine,
It is really all fine.
Signed, A construct for mortality.
Nothingness in spirited spaces
breathed places
windswept re-connecting
re-ligious experience
ZeroZone intuited
and non-violently
not ultra violetly re-communicating
economic green co-investments
and political win/win empowering
healthy wealth, resiliently abundant
polypathic potential
for future/from past
love's green/blue reweaving
ZeroZone nothingness
of denatured
dead
statically disconnected win/lose dogma
of capitalistic righthand dominant fundamentalism
of deductive reasoning
As if such empty rightbrain inductive denialism,
such win/win ecosystemic Trust depression,
such ecofeminist oppression,
such matriarchal polytheistic repression,
and, even more overinvested,
such StraightWhite Capitalist
depleting wealth impressions
Would not also suppress healthy re-ligioning
multiculturally empty face
imprisoned by fear of ecofeminist grace,
Abandoned to demonic anger
of red-blooded patriotic SWMale
clubs idolatrously worshiping
predative AnthroSupremacism
Open only to those
Chosen by dogmatic unchanging orthodox DivineWords
spoken to blind Transcendent SpiritWin/NatureLose
NonDualistic Full-Angelic or Empty-Demonic
Gospel Heaven or HellFired Earth Disciples,
almost hopelessly leftbrain patriarchal
monotheistically straight
and monoculturally White
Reverence in the Name
of commodifying sanctifying values
redeeming colonizing competitive global missions
instead of creolizing sacraments
polyculturally green resonant
win/win communicating
Earth history reveals nothing less logical
or necessarily more romantic
about rightbrain NonZero Zone's
both/and dipolar co-arising Logos
interdependent ecological mythos
circling
revolving 4D cosmological GoldenRules
integral anima-enspirited
Ego/Eco-rebalancing
restoring
re-ligioning
reweaving consciousness
full multicultural EarthMatriotic
breathed in and out
winded up and down
nature-green landed
spirit-blue watered
Anxious about packed
and fracked,
unmellowed
and yellowed
formerly fertile MotherLands
Still fragilely supporting
Nothingness in spirited spaces
breathed places
windswept re-connecting
re-ligious integrity experience
enlightening co-passionate re-lateralships.
Jung observed
Where animus PowerOver dominates,
empirically reigns,
there lies anima’s yin-Love
soft recessive Shadow.
Positive to negative,
and double-binding negative
to appositionally reverse
not not yet re-imaged positive
power both/and democratically with.
PowerOver patriarchy
dominating mutual empathic
EarthMatriarchal power flowing with
and through
each healthy root relationship
of AnimusSelf with AnimaOther.
For some, this PowerWith agape feels sacred,
yet also cooperatively natural, organic
like what we have always most appreciated
as nourishing hands and face,
light and voice and feet,
taste and sound and feel,
humane heart and embryo regenerate mindbody.
Open EcoSystemic PowerWith others,
with Earth,
with nurture co-arising Time's regenerate Presence,
but not with PowerOver dominance,
competing Win to not Lose monopolistic life and death emotions,
thoughts,
mistaken beliefs about this animus AND anima
eco-shadows co-arising
Basic Trusting Revolutions,
great and small transitions of ecoconsciousness.
Some speak of climatic and aggressive PowerOver
in contrast to reverence,
substituting Jung’s LoveShadow
with a sacred shadowing
poly-teleological re-ligioning
multicultural WinWin equivalent
nondual nature/spirit evolving balance.
Yet, Yin emerges a binomial yinyin notnot
shadowing WinWin conscience
synergetic intuitions informed by DNA sacred scripture
love-with-health regenerating mutual true-beauty compliance,
resonance,
contenting resolutions,
cooperative relationships with mutually co-incarnate
economic balance of nutritional values,
expecting loving hand and face outcomes
for all Earth’s Tribes,
grateful for evolving mindbodies
surfing through octave-wave co-arising functions
of ego/ecoconsciousness.
For me,
power and love together are reverence
most fully accessible to each and all
maintaining cooperative nutritionally-motivated Basic Trust Attendance,
free to ShowUp, Notice, explore ego’s curiosities,
yet free from overly-cynical ruminations
about how to control mysteries and stories
recovered and discovered
uncovered and unfolding,
reweaving yet again together.
Archetypes flash straight from a pack of Tarot cards
anti-terror Jing Jang synthesis with neuro-spiritual precision
implants explosive animation from the deep unknown
like a taro rootstock growing wings to fly with found suspension
Stereotactic stereotypes archetypes semi-circling soothing storm clouds
thunderbolts and enlightening darkness are my enema of anxious anger critique
of the mono-morph collision of the scalpel shadow ‘Prozacian’ nemesis
neology of ‘animusity’ of ‘newfoundlandel’ comprehension
Dialectical complementation rises higher and higher culminates in
ethereal transcendence where collective personal unconscious
presents my animus in wishful thinking and projections as
soft and gentle revel rebel raising entropy in tender conservation to escape from
Dogma categorically demanding artificial classification replacing with dimension
flow and rivers stagnant pools of stream of consciousness evading
sexist fragmentation disenfranchising marginalisation assigning male
and female emasculated o-variation where seminal origin implantation
Precedes nurture socialised indoctrination assignment of celibate promiscuity
My animus refuses to accept in emotional rejection whether Jung and I read
symbols from the same page or not of masques façades and liberated self
where academic artistry split hairs and personality for the premise of debate
I am a rebel and claim no higher lower ground of superior distension
He or she who animates friendly animosity is right and incorrect whatever
common ground belies the provocation I propose but possibly my
presentation of what others mean in kindness is too neutral neuters psyche
While anima and animus illustrate conclude a symbiotic destination
the starting point of this and that left right up above and side by side
is far too circular an argument when we should start not end in union
Male and female are constructions of disparity of power and repression
Archetypes are not therefore I am
11th June 2016
Animus-Anima Part II—Animus – Poetry Contest
Sponsor Tom Quigley
I wonder sometimes if longing
is no more or less than misplaced belonging,
on my list of absences
that are more honestly presences
we have deferred explicitly owning right now,
you and I potentially co-empathic,
Left with Right dialectical insides and outsides,
without even knowing this absence from each in-
and outside other.
Things and relationships and transactional places
longed for yet unseen and unknown
we walk within and of and for in outflowing imaginations
both within and without ego/ecoconscious polypathic sacred-organic
ecology.
Bicamerally,
as Yang to Yin to not not back to positive Yang
we long to belong to no longer longing
to become to not not simply be
ecoconscious healthy EarthTribe cooperative reorganizers,
as, hopefully, was, and remains, Elder RNA's original organic regenerative designs,
Earth's original thermo-resonant polyculturing climate intent.
Personal and familial history
evolves into ecopolitical re-creation and de-generation stories
of great, and more typically smaller, transitions within dipolar climate histories,
ecological WinAnthro/WinEarth evolutions of octaved major thru minor memory dialects,
musical pitch and personal rhythm patterns of vibrating light
across evolution's transformative polypathic through monopolistic trends.
BiCameral CoBinary neurosystemic anthro-intelligence
recreating ecosystemic Gaian-intelligence matriarchal mysteries
HerStory cooperative strings and tales of evolutionary synergies,
authentically integral
indigenously and wisely owned incorporations,
divestments from dysfunctional climatically revolting competitions,
unkind suffering loss and death,
slowing domesticated empire-building force of irreligious nationalistic form
by day,
tsunamis and hurricanes and Earth's quaking futures by night
As perceived through bicameral co-evolving eyes,
still longing to belong within co-empathic humane-divine
nature-spirit Me/We ego/eco-systemic healing
body-mind belonging
cobinary
neurosystemically felt-thought longing
anima/animus rebalancing belonging.
When universal trauma lurks
with upper hand,
To know paranoid loss
is to fear unjust death
of much-loved reputation
compassion's robust integrity
and pleasure's self-respect.
When unitarian therapy
lends Her feminist sway
to feel peace
and co-invest in life
is to predict pronoia
and cherish waxing love
and self-forgiveness.
For both these reasons,
we send a significantly wrong message
of blame the victim
when we post public health messages
like "Suicide is preventable"
Which is no more
or less true
than Systemic Trauma is
and is not preventable
within one anthropocentric
LeftBrain verbally dominant
monotheistic ecocidal lifetime,
OR one mature and healthy democratic trust relationship,
one compassionate communication ReGenerative Story,
one encircling EnLightenMind/EmPowerBody
resiliently brilliant
resonantly elegant
polyamorous and possibly pantheistic
naked native Nature
sacred/organic
win/win narrative
Gaian Hypothesis prophesying,
When trauma lurks
with upper dissociative
and irreligiously patriarchal
right-hand victimizing vengeance fist,
To know mental depression
body-shaming repression
cognitive oppression
intuitive pleasure suppression
is to fear comprehensive
fight or flight
and critically frenzied frozen events
of neurological,
and now also ecological,
loss.
When therapy
lends EarthMother's feminist sway
to know resonant win/win integrity
reconnecting healthy life's
most resiliently wealthy impressions
is to predict patriotic trust
and matriotic safety,
animus penetrating truth
and anima receptive beauty,
expressive cognitive compassion
and impressive intuitive pleasure
Win/win thriving respite
from ego- and eco-distempered,
win/lose survivalist,
dissociatively irreligious,
RightWing dominant trauma history
To fully rekindle compassion's
wealth embodied laughter
health mindful listening
Gaian Muse lustery
Organic passion's sacramental
deep erotic governing
exotically orgasmic
therapeutic pleasure mystery.
Submersion Connections
The water heaved and sighed with the gathering force of self while
the tug positioned to push, pull, hold.
The mammoth engineering marvel,
rose like the Phoenix with the grace of Shamu,
antenna first
then bridge
finally the deck
The round port hole unwinds.
On the dock are,
two women and a man
The women she,
confuses, flusters and amazes the man,
In a glorious way!
Completing his being and upsetting his,
reality impressions.
The reality he always thought was true and only,
their emotional, physical, spiritual and,
historical selves are dynamic like the name of the ship USS Dynamic.
A composite of every:
• Girl
• Women
• Mother
• Lover
• Goddess
• Witch
• Vamp
• Teacher
• Whore
From brunette to blond.
From redhead to auburn.
From Cindy O to Patty S.
Christine C to Tanya R.
And back,
from forth
? Plump
? Skinny
The Anima essence reflections intoxicate him
But consistently calm
A feeling tone of
Peace resolved
With facets like diamonds
The mission is to,
reconnect!
Without a connect all,
Energy is gone
Relationships gone,
Fellowship gone,
The pain of hunger gone,
Anticipation of love gone,
The release of laughter gone,
Mortal reassurance of pain gone,
Knowledge of being gone.
The water is deep and dangerous,
just below,
our fears swim with our own self hatred.
But the wires are severed and that’s where they lie as,
deep in our subconscious,
a dangerous place for anyone to try.
You enter the vessel,
Cleansed and baptized from,
eons of anticipation and preparation and,
the sub supplies safety and comfort,
for the process of healing
Connections are made:
o Soldered
o Tested
o Insulated
The three souls are merged, mixed, consolidated and rectified,
beyond recognition and memory.
One Archetype where,
the power flows,
the meter spins where,
balanced achieved and,
calmness reigns,
once again.
At last!