Coffee at 3 a.m.
But why?
To dunk the cookies.
Are you sleeping?
Are you on your meds?
This is irritating.
Shut up!
Loud stupid infomercial woke me up.
Slicing. Dicing. Chop. Chop. Best carving tool in the world.
Only nineteen, ninety-nine.
Damn!
So here I am, drinking coffee at 3 a.m.
Prudent to on one else.
Does not even make sense to me.
Okay, maybe a bit I decide as
I reach for my next cookie to dunk in the hot stuff.
Categories:
infomercial, addiction,
Form: Free verse
i am way too hyped to think
i see it and i am entranced
it is not an infomercial
it is not an advertisement
it is not even the wettest of dreams
it is the real thing....right in front of my eyes....live and in color
my heart begins to pound
my mouth falls to the doggone floor
i feel splinters in my bottom lip, but right now i am impervious to pain
i start with a fast walk
then i begin a light sprint
then i run Run RUn RUN with no regard for regards
i suddenly stop abruptly when i am there
the comfort and the consumption begins to ease all my stresses away
i look at the whole of the horizon
i feel as if i am home in this oblivious paradise
i am way to Lost In Love sense
Categories:
infomercial, beautiful, paradise,
Form: Free verse
A Satire on Commercials
I Don’t Need It
But Gimme Two
Written: by Miracle Man
8/2/2017
Commercials are filled with lots of untruths and ploys,
Using scantily dressed women oozing charm and poise;
Each with the thought of enticing me to spend money,
Using smoke and mirrors and often insultingly funny;
Commercials are tailored to my individual spending habits,
And each time I Inquire, my emails multiply like rabbits.
Sometimes the pitch man is one, handsome or famous,
Buying on name recognition would make me an ignoramus.
But behind each infomercial lies a free marketer’s creed,
To convince me to purchase what I don’t really need.
Categories:
infomercial, satire,
Form: Couplet
I HAVE FOUND WHAT I REALLY BELIEVE
Now can we make love on the ground?
The infomercial is talking about sex and medicine.
If I can’t get it up I don’t want it.
I’m born to be bad. I was once born to be good.
Now I win an award. Later I won’t be in the running.
Keep up I AM going to move fast.
Drowning is a super power. Nice people stay alive.
I’m prepared to be interested in a stranger.
I think about time travel because I sense the future.
My daydreams Lost in my head to avoid
growing up with family on a boat. My imagination
strong It saved me.
Everybody on board drowned because they didn’t create a life vest.
Categories:
infomercial, age, death of a
Form: Imagism
I’m much too tired
To get up
And change the channel
And though this infomercial
Isn’t something
I really want to watch
It fills in the time
I guess I’m too lazy
And too damned broke
To buy new batteries
For the remote control
So I’ll just lie here awhile
And keep pressing the buttons
Until this thing either works
Or I eventually
Fall asleep
Categories:
infomercial, sleep,
Form: Prose
let's be honest for a minute.
Everyone loves to eat! but Noone wants to have to chew.
well, Now there's a solution!
the All New, Waft & Hieken FOOD WARBLER!
are you:
tired of your jaw being sore before you're done with your beef jerky?
having to turn down more helpings because your jaws can't take it?
do you lie awake at night, just wishing there was a solution?
Well, Now There IS!
with the FOOD WARBLER, you won't have to:
wash your hands before you eat,
wait twenty minutes after eating to swim,
Or discipline your kids!
for only several, very easy payments of $49.99 [+s&h],
YOU WILL NEVER HAVE TO CHEW AGAIN!
have your credit card ready and call 1-800-WARBLER today!
Categories:
infomercial, satire,
Form: Dramatic Verse
The road map to the mouse trap Worst sells pitch ever for care Unhealthy advice get rich quick Gov cheese If you can spare all you need is a few smart mice To stick their heads in the trap please Do you know the stats do fat rats eat dead mice * - ( Angry about obamacare Do not get mad get rich - Money Map Press )- infomercial
Categories:
infomercial, care, funny, health, humor,
Form: Grook