Income tax season
Is no reason
For utter despair
Pulling your hair
Shedding a tear
Out of fear
You’ll be broke --
Like most folk!
written January 31, 2022
Taxes oh why not
and to do have forgot
what will be next plot
When Tax Season Comes
When tax season comes, I relax...
not worried cause I have my facts
along with a friend
that helps to the end...
my financial aide, Turbo Tax!
So simple, it says what to do...
just type numbers in, click review.
No big fees to pay
high-priced C P A...
sends it to the I R S too!
Sandra M. Haight
~3rd Place~
Contest: Tax and Finance Limericks - Old or New
Sponsor: Carolyn Devonshire
Judged: 12/31/2018
Income Tax Filing Time Again
By Elton Camp
It’s again time, Uncle Sam to pay
By April fifteenth is the filing day
End of January I meant to do it
I actually thought I’d hop to it
But it’s an onerous task I hate
So I continued to procrastinate
I’ll get on it next week, for sure
For tax anxiety, that’s the cure
Sam doesn’t send forms anymore
Having to print them I truly abhor
Then obtuse instructions to obey
Surely there’s a simple way to say
But it’s go from this line to that
Written by some government rat
Enter the amount from line sixteen
And be sure to guess what we mean
It was then that TurboTax I found
And it’s the best invention around
It led me through by the hand
With words I could understand
With this program so spiffy,
I finished filing in just a jiffy
With a big refund coming my way
Some of my debts I now can pay
Other programs likely do as well
But, of them, I have naught to tell
So You Haven’t Filed Your Income Tax Yet
By Elton Camp
You don’t want penalties cause it’s late
So why or why did you procrastinate
“I will do it for sure tomorrow,” you say
But tomorrow you wait yet another day
There is a good chance a refund is due
But until you file, it won’t come to you
But now it has gotten down to the wire
It’s even too late H & R Block to hire
All of your records you pile on the table
Must do it now even if you don’t feel able
“Find the lesser amount of line twenty-two”
And then you must decide what have to do
For an especially hot corner of hell you hope
For who wrote these instructions—the dope!
Must they be complicated in what they say
Surely there must be a much simpler way
“I’ll print 1040 from online,” you think
Only to find the printer’s out of ink
Too late, you find you’re missing a form W-2
Now what in the world are you going to do
So let this teach a valuable lesson this year
File taxes early and there’s naught to fear
I decided years ago, never an idiot to be
For this same thing has happened to me
E-File Your Tax—Heck Yes!
By Elton Camp
It’s out with the old and in with the new
Filing income tax online is the way to do
Making a return manually I’ve always hated
But doing it online I felt a little intimidated
Complicated situations still need to see a CPA
But for most of us, filing online is the best way
What once I considered to be an onerous chore
I don’t nearly as much mind doing anymore
Gather your records and just plow right in
The software will show you the way to win
What was complex and needlessly obscure
With e-filing, that I’m doing right I’m sure
My return done & submitted in a little while
So it was off to watch television with a smile
And one of the most surprising things to me
Most people can get the federal done free
And if you decide you want it to do the state
The small charge is one that you won’t hate
It’s been said the only constant in life is change
So to e-file your income tax it is time to arrange
The Income Tax Audit
By Elton Camp
Perry boasted how the IRS he so loved to cheat
But found that he should’ve been more discreet
When a neighbor notified the Internal Revenue,
The agency decided that an audit they would do
The examiner soon found Perry lived like a prince
His lifestyle of income tax fraud soon did convince
“Man, you can’t have reported all of your income.
Where did this mansion and limousine come from?”
Perry also had bragged of his enormous casino win
But he hadn’t thought that he should turn a dime in
Also income showed on his Social Security account
But on his 1040 he hadn’t reported the same amount
Clothes given to the Salvation Army he took deduction
But the value he reported needed some drastic reduction
To the church Perry claimed that he gave twenty percent
But the pastor reported it wasn’t even a place that he went
Spending My Income Tax Refund
By Elton Camp
For one like me, who to save lacks the thrift,
An annual income tax refund seems like a gift
In other years, there’s been no reason why
That something a bit special I couldn’t buy
An otherwise unaffordable gift for my wife
Or a vacation to relieve the monotony of life
This time the decision has been made for me
For it will go right into the gas pump, you see