Jumble and Rumble went on a road trip to Kalamazoo
Frightening folks along the way for it is what monsters do.
They met a lively wedding part of seventy-two.
Most had imbibed salty green margaritas, more than a few.
Why don’t you join us asked the bride-to-be named Sue.
Okay agreed Jumble and Rumble, dapper monsters who slew.
They all ended up in the hoosegow in Kalamazoo.
Serenading a cow out the window; she had a big moo.
We’ll do this again sometime! Said Rumble, happy as goo.
I loved this wedding! Agreed Jumble, who ended up with a bride too.
Categories:
hoosegow, 10th grade, 11th grade,
Form: Monorhyme
acorn faerie flitted out of the way of the giant tail.
in for a landing came a flying squirrel with a sail.
where did you come from? Asked Cousin Dale.
thought you were in the hoosegow, the county jail.
interested acorn faerie is enthralled. A jailbird!
she has never met one, or gotten to have a word.
she quizzes the squirrel the way cottage cheese follows a curd.
ignoring their protests, as if they have never been heard.
Categories:
hoosegow, 3rd grade, 4th grade,
Form: Rhyme
I am hitchhiking rides to Britt, Iowa this week, and I’m not green.
Fully intend to be named the glorified, brand new 2021 Hobo Queen.
Wish people marked cars like they put hobo symbols on a fence post.
I do not wish to get in with an axe murderer, a most horrible host.
Used to jump in box cars but the rail yards are computerized now.
They have surveillance cameras that count the hairs on each brow.
Live by wits, my hypervigilant ideas keeping me alive, it never fails.
The quickest way to the hoosegow is to get close to one of those rails.
A prissy lady stopped and handed me meat sandwiches yesterday.
She thinks if she wants to get to Jesus land, she somehow has to pay.
Uh-oh. The cops are here to give me a ride to the county line.
Riding rom sheriff’s car to sheriff’s car I should get to Britt just fine.
Categories:
hoosegow, 10th grade, 11th grade,
Form: Rhyme
Cletus O'Toole by a suspicious game warden was approached,
To discuss the demise of a moose he was suspected of havin' poached.
Fer huntin' out of season and havin' no permit he was in a serious bind;
Fer this offense he could spend time in the hoosegow and be heavily fined!
He was thereby cuffed and taken post haste to the county jail,
To await his appearance before the judge sans the benefit of bail!
Before the bar of justice he claimed as his meager defense,
That his gun fired accidentally as he was crossin' a barbed wire fence!
The judge didn't buy it and he was heavily fined and sent to prison,
Fer slayin' a hapless moose (property of the State) that warn't his'n!
Categories:
hoosegow, humorous,
Form: Rhyme
When we retired we were so inspired:
To live free and rest from our labors.
This mobile home park has lived up to the mark,
But oh, goodness gracious, the neighbors.
Jay the old peeper can snoop through the creeper
And tell if the ladies are bathing.
At times he's been caught and the women have taught
him new curse words in language quite scathing.
Denny got back from the hoosegow and that
is the end of his meth lab's production.
He'll have to report to the man from the court
with his pee to avoid re-induction.
Jen basks in the sun and we all see her bum
Though we tell her it's not necessary.
In England alone she's seventeen stone
And her armpits are ever so hairy.
A lady name Myrtle we call snapping turtle
(You never know when she'll attack you)
keeps her trailer quite clean but she's viciously mean
And if talked to she'll snap right back at you.
There are neighbors with tone, who have made themselves known
And we're so glad to know they reside here,
But an odd PhD and a master's degree
Can't compete with the felons that bide here.
Categories:
hoosegow, humorous, retirement,
Form: Limerick
Recently thought of robbing a bank
If caught, I'll just call it a wee prank
If cops don't allow
Put me in the hoosegow
I'll make friends with a felon and break ranks
Categories:
hoosegow, silly,
Form: Limerick
Nearing four A.M. and closing time...
He says,"one more with double lime"
Meanwhile... brown eyes in the mirror gaze
She takes off his ring...puts on her face
Where makeup flows...more is required
Those telltale signs...sure cover hard!
Damn all those years...with pain condoned
She'll scream no more..She's got her going on
She's got her going on...in her silk Deville
Love pointed south...dressed fit to kill
Her cheeks are dry...her heart's a stone...
'Hell with goodbye..she's got her going on!
He runs to beg...It's past too late
Her burning tires.....Accentuate !
His staggered stare...meets the ice cold dawn
She's outta there...Got her going on!
Mid morning knock..at the front door
He smiles, "She's coming... back for more"!
Handcuffed.... in route...to his hoosegow home
He ain't getting out.... She's got her going on!!
She's got her going on...In her silk Deville.....
Love pointed south...dressed fit to kill
Her cheeks are dry...her heart's a stone
'Hell with goodbye...She's got her going on!
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All rights reserved
Categories:
hoosegow, abuse, bullying, change, confidence,
Form: Lyric
There's a white saddled horse,
and not a cowboy in sight.
No lasso to take him in,
to his stable this night.
There's a red bricked saloon,
with no man to tend bar.
Not an order to be taken,
only a half smoked cigar.
There's a bright yellow inn,
each room is now untaken.
no rest under moonlit skies,
or mornings to slowly awaken.
There's an old sepia Hoosegow
with no judge or jury of law.
Not a soul to be condemned,
or a crowd to stand in awe.
There's a faded teal gospel mill,
with not one granger praying.
This place welcomes silence,
as the literature starts decaying.
So the next time you are near,
skip over our town on route five.
For even though you are welcomed,
You will never leave here alive.
Categories:
hoosegow,
Form: I do not know?
He was a free-spirited chap from the day of his birth.
Even his long-suffering folks doubted he'd be of much worth!
His name was Billy Bob, his mischief became town lore;
With those in authority he had a very dismal rapport!
Each Saturday night he'd go on a stupendous binge,
Embarassing the gentle folk of town causing them to cringe!
At the Baptist Church picnic he slipped gin in the punch.
The sheriff and his boys were called to quell the rowdy bunch!
He roared down Main Street in his ramshackle truck.
People cheered him on, cops pursued, 'til he ran out of luck!
He wasn't a mean-spirited lad, simply the town ne'er-do-well.
In the hoosegow, the jailer reserved his own special cell!
A delegation was formed and they lectured him stern.
He was advised to leave town and never return!
To ensure that he, their fair village would ne'er more malign,
On all roads leading to town was posted this sign:
"This is the birthplace of Billy Bob of dubious renown.
Years ago the scoundrel was run out of town.
Dare he return we'll toss him in jail,
Without the benefit of judge, jury or bail!"
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired (© All Rights Reserved)
Categories:
hoosegow, funny
Form: Rhyme
I cannot see
Around the tree
In front of me
It's tall and wide
Thus does it hide
The other side
But if I move
Out of my groove
Would this it prove-
A picturesque scene
Well-watered, green
Clear paths so clean
Or crowded trees
Brambles and screes
Uncertainties
But if I stay
Certain dismay
Would come my way
So I must peer
Move out of fear
And pioneer
The other side
That tree did hide
It's vast and wide
For now I see
Around that tree
In back of me
It's smaller now
From bough to bough
No more hoosegow
Categories:
hoosegow, adventure, mystery, nature, seasons,
Form: Rhyme