A PLAYER
Booked for a film for one day.
I rehearse my line and wait until the
crew is ready for me.
It’s a cold night shoot, but the hot
spotlights flood the set with
achievement and attainment.
I perform. Hot and sweaty. I derig.
I exit, never seeing the crew again.
The rest of the night is waiting for
me ; the night is young and the city
is new.
To celebrate, I go to a night club.
Make out with a man twice my age
and half my talent. I perform again.
I cast aside the desperate man.
I book a twink who takes me to his
place. I derig. I perform again.
Hot and sweaty for the second
time tonight. I exit, never seeing the
twink again.
The joys of being a player….
Erasing your fingertips.
Painting over your love.
The bruises no longer hurt, but the memories do.
Picked me up at 2, dropped me home at 11. Of course, I’m only useful in the evening. At night you don’t want my presence. Sharing a bed for the night would be admitting I was a person.
You spoke in whispers, never saying what I needed to hear.
Scars will fade and I will forget.
My body builds up too much iron;
My wife’s blood, not enough.
We tired of going to all those docs;
At night, we just hook up.
----------
*A fairly common (1:200) condition known as hemochromatosis results in iron being stored in various organs, including the liver. Undetected, it can cause serious health issues, but it is readily treatable.
A roommate shows me this hookup app - the consensus favorite.
“Call me crazy,” I say, “but if we’re reducing s3x to something
cheap and cynical, wouldn’t p0rn be safer and easier?”
She frowns, as if I’ve espoused an unpopular political position
so I make a show of putting “join the app” on my to-do list
- which is like sending it into outer space.
Sleeping with someone you don’t like - or even know, seems impolite, even seedy but there’s a power to it as well - knowing I could if I wanted to - I quash that thought as it rises, like heat.
Besides, factoid: I have an imaginary boyfriend, And although my thoughts are free to roam far and wide, I’m nothing if not faithful.
I met a nice fellow from Nebraska
Talked about his sister in Alaska
Said she was still single
And ready to mingle
“If available,” he said, “I’ll ask-a.”
June 13, 2021
In the car cubby,
Phones collide with each other
I'm feeling chubby
You build up your might
To start a play fight with me
Don't mean to be mean
As best friends and more,
We are two peas in a pod
I'm feeling skinny
You cheer me up some
We laugh and argue...cuddle...
And TMI things
Youngest in family
We are a match - say hello
Phones match, all dandy
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