not sure what this means
have mixied up hambone with beans
add cabbage with greens
(may inflate your jeans)
(ate much in my teens)
(Create many scenes)
(living beyond means)
Categories:
hambone, allegory, analogy,
Form: Haiku
She lost her hambone on Monday at nine-fifty-nine.
It was in her tomato soup, which was almost sublime.
The next time she had him, he was browning up, and pink.
With his lecherous eye, he gave her a soft pat, and a wink.
The love she felt for hambone was instant, pure and true.
She knew she’d better take a nap, so she’d know what else to do.
Hambone and a floozy were running around together at a quarter to three.
She was angry, mad, and sent out her hornet workers on a little stinging spree.
Following the bees was easy, sure. “You little vixen!” she shrieked at the tramp.
“You had better not be taking my hambone to the ham and bean bone camp!”
The vixen screamed loud, and ran away into the night.
Leaving a worried hambone to fight his own fight.
“We were going to Lewisville, outside of France.”
“Honey, the next time, you’d better remember who wears the pants.”
So it was true love that day, pure and simple.
And things were done that will dry up every little pimple.
And let the lesson here be in your brain forever.
Snap up the hambone that makes your heart quiver.
Don’t please the neighbors, or your Daddy Joe.
Just keep your hambone away from the great big…….
Categories:
hambone, humor, lost love, marriage,
Form: Free verse
My buddy Hambone,
What a pip,
Sometimes I think,
He had one too many a "trip"
I've spoken of how I am his ATM
But now I've got more
About this custodial "gem"
2:30 A.M. on my door,
a knock,
At this hour?
It was a shock!
What could it be?
Imminent doom?
Fire warning?
Tornado coming?
Get out right now?
Can't wait till morning!!??
Luckily, I'm hard to scare,
But can be quick to anger,
Let me see...
Who is this banger?
Sure enough,
Hambone was there,
On his face,
A vacant stare...
At 2:30 A.M.
Ask, he did dare...
"Hey, Tom,
Can I have a
couple of beers?"
I felt like boxing him
Between the ears...
Now I was,
His Mini-Mart,
And I saw,
That this was
but the start...
I slammed the door,
With a curse,
Saw him move,
In reverse...
Tomorrow
I will post,
A sign that says,
"No Hambones
Do We Serve"
Because that idiot
Has got some nerve.
(A true tom bell tale.)
Categories:
hambone, life, mystery, people,
Form: Bio
The First National Bank of Hambone,
That's me - As for Hambone...
He's the park's "Handy-man"
You might say,
Does odd jobs,
Always lookin' for more pay...
He averages five knocks on my door,
Each and every day and night,
Wantin' to "borrow a twenty"
And he's quite a sight...
Always a bandana on his head,
Scruffy stubble on his face,
Jeans unwashed since "66,
A credit to our race...
Well, the U.S. Mint
Can't keep up with his needs,,
No matter how much they print,
He'll need twenty more
before they oil the presses,
Where it all goes we all have guesses...
Surely not on wardrobe,
Or human toiletries,
The huge hole in his jeans,
Displays long unwashed knees.
Now, he does useful chores,
This I admit,
Things I can no longer do,
But always at a price,
He keeps me poor,
Sometimes in my juices,
I just stew.-
Categories:
hambone, angst, caregiving, people, work,
Form: Bio
in my bizarre trailer park,
we have a handyman,
very strange appearance,
to imagine, I doubt you can...
his name is hambone,
he's a really kind'a nice guy
but sometimes he'll seek money,
well, at least, he'll give it a try
"can you lend me....."
"I cut your grass, you owe me....."
it's hard to put in words
he's irreplaceable in some ways,
in others, he's for the birds...
he wears a head bandana,
and would be good in a david lynch movie,
if this world was like eraserhead,
he'd be considered kind of groovy
Categories:
hambone, allegory, funny, people,
Form: Burlesque