Gross Out Poems - Poems about Gross Out

No Toilets In The Sky - 2025 - slightly gross

Santa’s doing Tinkles as he travels on his way
Sprinkling golden showers ’cross the moonlit sky today
He has no private place to pee which fills him with dismay
For there’s no public toilets... in the Milky Way

Santa’s got his legs crossed cos he’s been out on the beer
His guts are throwing tantrums and he wishes home was

Gross Red Mark on Your Neck

icky
hickey

Gross Grandeur

Nectarous taste would not surcease 
in torture now that’s my showpiece;
 
I sit in a hard chair pallid,
there’s solace in something solid; 

Give fine obeisance to the madness,
decayed memories savor sadness;

Such enmity in your answer,
the pinnacle of gross grandeur;

Your lotion now my nepenthe,
letting me drown so easily;

Rocking on this rickety porch,
that scent hits me like

Stuck in My Gut - Gross Limericks

My boyfriend was agitated
Because I was constipated
We'd be late for the game
Of course I was to blame
My butt hole's not dialated

On and on he whined and waited
Use of laxatives, debated
In my gut it was stuck
I could smell it... oh yuck
Boyfriend getting more frustrated

I could hear the game on the phone
I said, "Go. Just leave me

Inherent Wrongness

Daddy pulls out my straight teeth
Keeps them in a jar for me
Knocks it over when I'm bad
He tells me that I "must be mad"'

I pick them up off of the floor
Cracked in half and looking sore
It must be a pathetic sight
He looks at me and his face goes white

Shards of glass buried in my knees
And

I Have a Gross Handicap

I have a gross handicap:
While sleeping retains my cap,
As I read feet in shoes tap
And easily a work “Crap!”

…And spoiled kids’ knuckles rap;
During sermon daring a nap,
Bathsheba survey her lap;
For my trips shun the best map…

Can I crush my handicap?
Enough to energy sap:
Eccentric wings stop their flap
While Handicap fills some gap…

But die could most handicaps:
As

Twice Told Toilet Tale a Cheeky Execrable Gross Fable

Twice told toilet tale – a cheeky execrable gross fable

which poetic product best be affixed 
with hashtag STINKY label.

As a young whippersnapper
and one precocious lad to boot,
I discovered common combustible materials
found in the bathroom.

At opportune times,
I blithely tinkered with dangerous chemicals
that could (but never did)
explode into one humongous
fiery maelstrom and
bloom (re: annihilate)
this lad to smithereens.

Window

Mission Impassible - Gross

The river’s running higher than the river’s run before
I knew it was; there’s three feet of it on my kitchen floor
And next doors garden shed came crashing into my front door
But I needed a number two and I could wait no more

I waded to my staircase and I clambered up the stairs
Getting to my bathroom

Gross Usury

The wife just returned from a store
Where they picked her up off the floor
She suffered a shock
At the Price Check dock
As the price had increased four score!

Rat Festation

I come in my house one day
Just got home from getting groceries
You can always get the good deals on Mondays
And I’m talking to one of my girlfriends who is shopping too
We chitchat of everything while she does her groceries when I hear a sound
Like scurrying through the floor
I thought it was the rain pouring on

He Nose How To Pick Em - Gross Humour Warning

Mam told me I must eat my greens
I’m certain I know what she means
I pick lots of snot,
And then eat the lot
It’s tasty and full of proteins! 

Mam’s livid and screams ACT YOUR YEARS
Aged fifty, I burst into tears
She whacks me round the head
Then she sends me to bed
And now I’ve got cauliflower ears!

For a

Achieved Loss In a Boss

Some become a boss
And it is an achieved loss,
Their misconducts much gross,
No more touching of Christ’s Cross!

Some become a boss
And it hits their moss:
Travelers by mysterious force,
Often wanting to run a course.

Yes, some emerge a boss
And they’re an incarnated horse
To all of us
A-To-Catch bus.

I once was a boss,
And began to my head toss,
As though listening

Are You Sitting Comfortably - Gross Humour Warning

I’m dining with my cousin Giles
Who disclosed he’d terrible piles
He’s wriggly and twitchy
Cos his butt’s so itchy
His visage is sad, there’s no smiles

He’d  tried using soft margarine
This process had just made him scream
So he did not linger
With his index finger
But Anusol worked like a dream

I said it was my understanding
That surgeon ‘s do hemorrhoid

Jello

JELLO

I hate jello because it is a food
once in your mouth it wiggles moves
reminds me of what worms must feel like to eat
grosses me out for the life of me

Who had such a fantasy
to make some squishy protein
From animal parts most disgusting
Food served in hospitals observably 

Jellied cranberries a similar food
Would rather have cranberry juice
And

Gross Ghoulishness

gross ghoulishness
a feeling of horror
gravestone rolls over

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