Funny Grandparents Poems | Examples
These Funny Grandparents poems are examples of Grandparents poems about Funny. These are the best examples of Grandparents Funny poems written by international poets.
"Time... Always here but never here." By Poet
Time is a funny thing since time does not always seem real,
yet I have been here since the beginning of time.
Time cannot be seen or touched,
but I am everywhere.
Many find me to be very rich,
when they call me quality of time.
Could I be used as currency?
Would I need to show myself to you?
I am already currency for many,
putting smiles on faces for volunteering.
My currency as grandparent's time,
having loving grandkids by their side.
Guess who my best friend is?
It is barter.
Barter and I go hand in hand,
making many lives richer.
Time is used daily as a currency,
when you need help the most.
Someone will help you out,
out with their precious time.
We recently lost my Grandpa
It took a toll on my Grandma
she took to the bottle
an unstable waddle
tripped on him hiding – such chutzpah!
Our big happy
family, since
granny left will!
NB Wills can be divisive in a wry humorous way.
Date created and submitted : 30 November 2020
“Boo,” said the little ghost.
Grandma jumped and screamed. Loudly. Pleasing him greatly.
Grandpa said “I don’t hear anything.”
Grandma had to jump and scream loudly six more times.
Grandpa rolled his eyes, going back to his TV
The delighted five-year-old kept begging grandma to keep playing.
She had to distract him with paints and markers
To get her life back. All in all, she jumped and screamed sixteen times.
She was born with cat ears.
So cute! Everyone lied.
Some of us felt them.
They were striped, and furry.
Odd for a human head.
Gray, pink in the middle.
“Adorable!” some of us said.
“Can they be removed?” the new grandmother asked.
Making her daughter-in-law her enemy for life.
On her nightdress candlelight flickers
While underneath she wears blue knickers
Grandpa recalls Kentucky
The last time he got lucky
Grandma just rolls her eyes and snickers
AP: 3rd place 2025, Honorable Mention 2025
Conversation with my four-year-old grandson Max.
“I cannot throw the ball one more time, Max. I am old.”
He glares at me. “No, you’re not.”
“I am. I really am.”
I throw the ball ten more times.
“I mean it Max, I have to stop. I am tired. I have a cough.”
“No you don’t.”
“Yes, I really do.”
He comes closer and looks at me hard.
I try to cough, putting myself into an explosive coughing fit.
He gives a couple of fake coughs.
We stare at each other.
“I’ve had my cough for three whole weeks, “ I tell him.
“How long have you had your cough?”
Brown eyes look at me closely. “Sixty-eight weeks,” he says smoothly.
I keep throwing the ball.
So I had to tell her to BLEEP off, Grandma.
She is fourteen, as of forty-six hours ago.
I am shocked.
I wisely decide to give her some Grandmotherly advice.
Me: Were there witnesses?
Molly: No.
Me: Did anyone have their I-phone out?
Molly: One, but I chased her down and smacked it out of her hand and hit delete.
I reported this conversation to my husband who rolled his eyes
And asked, “How is your Mini-Me?"
She was our sun, our earth, our star.
We listened to her, and revered her.
She knew how to give you eyes, with a silent face.
Revealing nothing of her own thoughts, in deference to you.
When she chose to be, she could be loud and fun and funny.
I had seen her this way, but it was not her natural instinct.
Which was to listen and love and learn all about us,
For as she learned about us quietly, we learned of ourselves.
We spoke of our bliss, our dreams, our hopes, our fears.
Seeking her out one at a time, trusting no audience to hear
What we could reveal to her, the best listener in the family.
Maybe the best listener in the universe, my grandma Jenny.
Strange things happened that last time my Grandpa drove to town
He scrapped a nine eleven and mowed a phone booth down
Folkies in the future will very likely sing
The man trashed a McDonald’s but spared a Burger King
It barely made the papers, just local news in some
Someone should have told them that there was worse to come
Spielberg’s gonna make a movie, if the rumour’s sound
Of the total devastation when Grandma drove to town
19 December 2018
For Succinct contest
Sponsor Michelle Faulkner
I lost the remote in the living room.
On Saturday.
My husband and I ran around looking and looking.
At first it was just the couch pillows, we were looking through.
An hour into it we had made what looks like a bon fire,
Tipping over couches, recliners, and such.
We broke a couple of tables.
Hey, wait, my husband reminded me.
Merlin was here today.
I called Merlin’s mommy, our daughter.
She said, "Oh, darn. We just found it. We thought it
was the one we lost a couple of weeks ago."
Merlin is our two year old grandson
Whom we apparently did not watch
As well as we should have the
5 hours he was here.
He is going to have to
Leave his hoodie and
His diapers at home.