I shall read you a poem in my drunken state,
if my speech is slurred, forgive me mate,
it is a cocktail of rum, vodka and cognac,
if boss finds out I will surely get the sack!
so am i drinking at work? you may ask,
yes, my mate, from my steel thermos flask,
I bring in to work each morning with me,
everyone thinks it is my Yorkshire tea,
but I need a bit more to help me work here,
we haven’t had a pay rise in full ten years,
I sit around and look busy at work all day,
but just do enough to justify my pay,
boss is a bully who always gets the praise,
when company makes profit, he gets a raise,
all our hard work, and boss gets the cream,
morale is pretty low in the whole office team!
today unfortunately i have had too many,
i meant to kiss Isabel, but I kissed old Danny!
I am sitting stiff in my chair, so I do not fall off,
beginning to see double, now and then laugh!
friends around me know what I am up to,
if boss walks in I will rush to the loo!
Meanwhile my mate, I read you this verse,
if you like it, then raise your glass! Cheers!
I sure have learned my lesson
You thought I would by now
To keep my big mouth shut
So the utters won't have a cow
I've learned that most opinions
Are just a lot of bull
When they are done with one
They give my other leg a pull
I think I'll stay here quiet, this is my firm decision
It's not that I've been bullied, or suffered a good licken'
But, If the fight is worth fighten'
I'll be first to start the Kickin'
Then they will find out
who's the chicken
I've learned that most opinions
Are just a lot of bull
So, let me get the sack out
So they can fill it till it's full
When you see me out to pasture
And I'm sure you would agree
There's really no use pickin'
It's just best to let me be
The deadline’s fast approaching;
The Editor’s at the door.
He needs my poem of the day,
I have three minutes more.
I can’t log on to Rhymezone
To find the perfect rhyme
Or check the number of syllables.
There simply isn’t time.
He says he wants a funny one
To spread a little cheer.
But I’m not in a funny mood,
So I can’t comply I fear.
My lover walked out last night
And won’t be coming back.
Oh oh, here comes the Editor.
I’m going to get the sack
Tom did not care about a toss,
Or listen to his current boss,
He knew all he wanted to know,
Which made his co-workers cross.
Tom did not want to learn,
You go to work to earn.
Money to support yourself
Earned money, not pelf
Or money to burn.
You will eventually get the sack,
Because of the knowledge that you lack.
If you never change your ways
You will be broke to your dying days.
There is no way of going back!
When an error has been made
Of gigantic measure
And you have to apologize
Knowing this gives you no pleasure
You thought you were right
Of this you never doubt
People have lost faith in you
Now they have found you out
The error you made involved a lie
It has been made clear to you
You must eat Humble Pie
It is not the Company's fault
That you have been so slack
So take a big bite
Before you get the sack
If I were your brother and you took ALL my candies treats;
You would have eaten, half no ALL of my candy that wouldn’t be sweet;
You see sometime you’ll have to close your eyes and go asleep;
I would creep into our room and stick needles in your feet;
I would take a cup of Karo syrup pour on your eyes;
I would take a gallon of water spill all over your bed now you rise;
I would get the sack of flour and pour it on ya
I would snicker and giggle ha ha ha!
I would place the wrappers of those candy treats;
Throw them all over your sheets, bet you won't ever again eat my treats;
If I were your brother I wouldn’t tell dad or mother
I jest git even…ha ha ha ha ha!
Ooh!!
MAMA!!!
Joe Joe wet on himself and look at the mess he’s made;
10/28/19
#2 Placement Win in Contest
Written by James Edward Lee Sr. ©
If I were your brother Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Bobby May