This Is No Picnic
We packed up the grill and my uncle took us to the lake
I was hoping for a burger, maybe even a juicy steak
Amazed was I to see the cooler packed with frozen shrimp
What kind of picnic is this? My smiling lips went limp
“Stop pouting,” said Uncle Tim, tossing me a fishing pole
“This here lake is filled with huge trout. It’s the best fishing hole”
If we wanted to eat lunch, first we would have to catch it
Seems his picnic invitation this info did omit
The hours dragged past and we hadn’t had a single bite
Our clan was growing hungry and grandma seemed uptight
So she took charge and lit the grill in spite of Tim's protests
But he could not do battle with her so he acquiesced
Mosquitoes were drawn to scents of shrimp on the barbecue
Then a horde of hornets found our camp and buzzed on through
We screamed and scurried about to avoid their bites and stings
Till Uncle Tim doused the grill and took us to Burger King
He ordered burgers to go, placed a blanket on our lawn
Till this day we still laugh at the antics we’d undergone
Written for Carol Brown's Picnic Time contest
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)
like Moses, the king of rods and storms
I once displayed my best fishing forms
sleek boat started to leak
the hooks went on a freak…
and landed in a field of dead worms
to save face, I hanged on a palm tree
holding two stoned tablets for last spree
fish and mollusks sneered
as sea creatures cheered…
till I roared… and parted the red sea!
©
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*one of the commandments of the tablets read:
“ Thou shalt not laugh at neighbor’s foolish failed attempts..” :)
--- for John Moses Freeman's " Fishing Limericks"
and now, PD's Limerick Fu
by nette onclaud,