Brother Funny Poems | Examples
These Brother Funny poems are examples of Funny poems about Brother. These are the best examples of Funny Brother poems written by international poets.
My brother and I,
while choosing a name for my nephew,
tried hard to think of something unique—
something with variety and charm.
“Tractor” was the first choice,
then came “Tumbler,”
and we fell breathless with laughter,
comparing impossible things—
his eyes to stretching bubblegum.
We joked about how his name
might sound when he grew older.
Laughs and tears rolled down our cheeks.
I’m thinking of a person
Who is strong and resilient.
Big in personality but size is small.
When mad, they turn a green pigment.
All is lost when anger worsens.
Tantrums raging, escalating.
Tired now, limbs in a sprawl.
I’m talking about toddler phasing,
A daily battle of exertion.
Oh, Nothing! You sly, elusive spud,
You’re the star of this poem (though technically dud).
You haunt empty fridges, blank quizzes, and minds,
The gap where my keys hide and my weekend plans wind.
You’re the punchline of vacuums, the muse of bare shelves,
The reason I’m talking to lamps by myself.
You’re the “E” in my bank account, crisp and austere,
The punch I forgot in my joke over here.
Some say you’re profound—philosophers swoon,
But let’s be real: you’re a nap’s favorite tune.
You’re the silence between a bad pun and “Huh?”,
The plot of a mime’s TED Talk—oh, brother, enough!
You wear pajamas daily, yet still blend right in,
A champion of naps, but you never quite win.
You’re the cloudless blue sky with no bird, plane, or flair,
The “U up?” text sent to a cactus. Bold. Rare.
So here’s to you, Nothing, you cheeky old void,
The world’s quietest meme, forever deployed.
Though poets may weep for your depth, I insist:
You’re the *something* I missed… wait. Dang. Plot twist!
---
P.S. If you liked this poem, pay me in air.
(It’s fitting, since Nothing and I split despair.)
Born beautiful, bacon breath,
Beau, besides being boisterous,
basketcase boggles,
batty behavior,
bounds beyond boundaries,
brazen barking bravado,
bane of UPS drivers bringing boxes,
bowling bewildered brother canine bedfellows,
befriending beagles,
basking beside bashful basset hounds,
belabors begging beef at table,
bedazzled by butterflies,
bobblehead bouncy Beau,
basically befuddled,
becalmed by bedtime biscuit,
beloved baffling beastie!
I snuck around the kitchen
Hiding behind the walls
"NO STEALING PIE" mom had warned me
But I won't listen, nothing wrong with having extra pie
So I reached out for the pie
But suddenly I witnessed A MOUSE with the Hat
It ran upstairs causing havoc
"Mother, brother is stealing pie."
Oh what luck, mission unsuccessful
Surely nobody would ask why the mouse was roaming around.
Throughout my life dad and I have done many things together
graduating from Crayola, fishing and wiffleball
to tune-ups, casinos and funerals.
After one particularly salty funeral:
Dad and I were carrying out
memorial flowers in separate vases.
As we said our goodbyes and headed for better times,
the eulogist barked out some odd but wizened advice.
"Don't forget to poor out the water from the vases.
So, side by side and on cue,
dad and I clownishly poured the rose water
onto the funeral home parking lot.
It hit with a surprisingly cartoonish smack...
getting our shoes soaking wet.
I like to think that brother angel
was giggling with us... again.
My brother calls me "Hammer Head"
Cause I eat Nails !
My sister calls me "Tacky"
Cause I eat Nails !
My friends call me "Spike"
Just because I eat Nails !
Everyone says I am a
"glutton for punishment"
I just can't seem to stop,
Biting on my Nails !
Stretched out,
On a daycare cot.
Told to take a nap,
Didn't want to!
A lot!
I might miss something,
So didn't make a peep.
Closed my eyes and pretended to sleep.
Waited until they were gone,
Snuck out across the lawn.
Knew where my brother had gone.
Up the stairs,
Into his room,
The teacher was talking about the moon.
Slid underneath his desk,
His legs hid me from the rest!
Stayed there until I had to pee,
Thats what gave me away.
But I didn't take a nap today!
He said he was Herbert Buttery
Born and bred in Woodley Edge
And was owner of a little business
Repurposing outdated artificial legs.
They were a family of collectors.
His brother lived in Haywards Heath
And his speciality was amassing
Pre owned sets of artificial teeth.
They were here on neutral ground
To consider a joint venture
Outside their specific fields
Of either Prosthetic or denture.
He made no further comment
Of the content of their proposal
Other to confirm they had
Sufficient funds at their disposal.
Such strange folk i thought
As I bid him a fond adieu
To continue with my project
Of harvesting Equinoxal dew.
Mu uncle Franklin
was a pro wrestler.
He lit up a room
like Nikola Tesla.
My aunt Judy
was a cake maker.
Her cakes were tall
like an LA Laker.
My brother Steve
played video games
-until my mom Kate
called him names.
Kate, to her credit
was a fine, fine artist.
But with brains, forget it.
I am the smartest.
The night was deep I could not sleep
The body was hot and so were my clothes
With my mind in a whirl, I stretched out my foot, when I felt a hand curl
Over it.
Every hair on my body began to rise, so did my eyes
In reflex I pulled my leg back inside, my heart pounding I nearly died
With fright.
Mind racing, what should I do? Then the mattress from underneath moved too.
My body stiffened as it pushed up, then down
I felt a swelling in my throat and a scream tore from me into the dark.
Simultaneously I threw the covers back, tumbled and fell into the black
Then the laughing began, low and growling, my head was spinning
I slammed into the door, then a body slid out from the floor
And my kid brother was led there grinning.
Love is the answer
Love is what we need
Not the infatuation one
But the unconditional one
The kind of love
Where despite our differences
we can still respect each other
The love where you will
Stand up with a brother, sister, neighbor, friend, or stranger.
Love that makes us unite,
Filled with compassion
The type of love that
can traverse the universe
Hey, even the multiverse!
The pure love from a child
before they are trained to hate
Once humanity finds and reclaims that love,
the love buried deep within.
On that day we shall know,
what is true love
The kind of love written in the stars above
There on to you!!!
Your idiot brother
Hovered over a Starbucks,
Your sister was seen
Cruising Rodeo Drive.
And Uncle Henry
Got hold of a bottle
George W. Dickle
Tennessee Sippin’ Whiskey
…and you know Uncle Henry!!!
Left his “vehicle”
In the river….
They’re still dredging
Papa says he’s had it with you guys
And Mama said
She’ll leave a light on.
Your best bet is…
Head to the border
Claim asylum
Head for San Francisco
…You’ll fit right in.
Love
Auntie Grnshht
This is based on a something that happened today,
Though I will not be able to provide a backstory,
Me and my brother fought with each other and he came to a conclusion saying that I can't use his computer anymore,
I simply replied with, "well then if you ask me for help, I will be helping you nevermore"
Well today he wanted to clean his new desk,
Messed some things up, made a big mess,
Came to me asking me for help,
I told him this is something that is supposed to be dealt,
But you ain't getting ma help!
If you give me your love
I'll make you be my dove
Because you're the only girl that i love
If love is a real love
We don't hardly need money
but nowaday
Other girls are looking for money
Even yersterday
My babe asked me big money
and i said that i'll give it to her on friday
because actually i'm in lack of money.
Even today
At 09pm o' clock
She tells me good night
My bestie also wish me a good luck
because i have an exam tonight
I covertly love her
but my mother hate her
David also likes her
but he can't tell her
I explain it to my father
but he told me that we can't leave together
I cry like my young brother
Because she is my lover