The funniest insect ever was wearing dreadlocks and a tam of red
He jumped up from the bowels of the forest saying “Hi! I’m Ned!”
I was shocked because he was a crazy-looking beast for a parasite.
Talking to a human like me was insane, it truly is not quite right.
He jumped on my leg and climbed up to my left knee.
Are you a they, a she, a we, a them or a he?
I was surprised that he is more politically correct than most I know.
I kept him inside all winter, away from ice, and snow.
Did not realize he could clone himself and avidly too.
One day I looked in his cage and there were twenty-two.
I don’t need a mate to do this either, he said.
That is the day I decided to boot out the insect Ned.
Categories:
funniest, 1st grade, 3rd grade,
Form: Rhyme
Words are meant
To illustrate
The flexibility of the tongue
And the tongue is meant
To emphasize
The tone of the word
And the tone is meant
To express
The meaning of the word
Is it hilarious?,
Creativity comes and goes
But the content of it
Stays the same
Imagination can be clouded
But the insight does not change
It modifies
The story,
Love is meant
To illustrate
The flexibility of the heart
And to be in love,is meant
To emphasize
The capabilities of the heart to feel
And to feel, is meant
To express
The meaning of the emotions
Is it hilarious?
Categories:
funniest, adventure, africa, betrayal, blessing,
Form: Free verse
"Leave 'ere! Leave 'ere!" she said. "I love you not."
The toxic fumes of hate did fill my eye.
"There, there." Javier said. "She's just a thot."
"That hoe deserveth neither you, nor I."
I love too hard, but do know to let go.
I'm occupied with matters and mischief.
Only will I let my feelings show
When I do feel one's tongue, skin, and young breath.
To keep this healthy mind from going mad,
i turn to music and my honest songs
Truly, a web of lies and sin is sad.
And every saint will die from a man's wrong.
Knowing one day I will face certain doom
I masturbate in a public bathroom.
Categories:
funniest, funny,
Form: Sonnet
My Funniest Experience
I can't remember, I smoked too much pot.
I was busy being mellow and the rest I just forgot.
The funniest thing that I guess that I can say.
Is that I can barely remember the first part of today.
When 30 years pass and you're melancholy.
You don't remember things that seem very jolly.
So I guess that would be the funniest of all.
That when it comes to memory, I just don't recall.
Let me see if I can find deep in my mind.
A tale of woe that we all know when we get in a bind.
I had a dog, Barney the Beagle.
Just a nice dog, no need to be regal.
The pastor came to call on Dad.
And as he was talking, Pastor must have looked sad.
Because Barney decided to go and hump his arm.
Yeah, good ole Barney, he wasn't known for his charm.
Note: Day 5 in the writing exercise.
Categories:
funniest, pets,
Form: Rhyme
Fishing at Lake Red Haw.
I pulled in a long muddy man’s size 11 wader.
It took me eighty-three minutes.
I thought it was going to be a whale.
There was a lot of laughing.
My dad and uncle thought it was
The funniest thing all summer long.
Fish were biting everyone else’s bait hooks.
My sister got her teeny tiny stupid bass
Mounted on a plaque.
My brother got a bluegill mounted.
I insisted on keeping the wader.
That was fifty-seven years ago.
I may still mount it.
Categories:
funniest, 10th grade, 11th grade,
Form: Free verse
I will write the funniest poem of all time.
Sorry. It has already been done.
I will write the most romantical poem of all time.
Ditto.
I will write the craziest poem of all time.
Have you ever heard of Shel Silverstein?
I will write the rhyme-iest poem of all time.
Dr. Seuss?
I will write what I know.
And it will not have to be an “ist” at all.
It will not have to be the most, the funniest, the sorriest, the saddest, the sweetest.
It can just be what it is.
And it does not have to become famous.
It does not have to be understood.
It does not have to be appreciated.
But it will have to be my own.
Because it has to be the poem
That only I can write.
I sit and stare at the
Paper, overwhelmed.
Excited, expectant,
Waiting for her birth.
Wondering where she will take me.
I pick up the pen and begin. Knowing nothing about what is about to happen.
Categories:
funniest, poems, poetess, poetry, poets,
Form: Free verse
A special moment that moves the heart,
a special person a special part,
a special smile to make you laugh,
so many special voices, such a gas,
the deepest deepest sadness, the greatest loss,
a kindness, ancient peace,
a better place, a timeless place,
such great love remains,
and all the lives that touched,
like leaves in the rain,
tears of joy and love,
flowing together, rivers of life,
greatly greatly missed,
Yet, forever in the heart.
Categories:
funniest, beautiful, funny love, tribute,
Form: Free verse
Oh how I love to read poems by Viv Wigley
He has me in hysterics and makes me go giggly
Ilene Bauer has a wonderful wit
Her clever humour is a real smash hit
Jack Ellison pens many a funny line
Makes me laugh, his humour is divine
John Wulf tributicks make me smile
He has a wonderful amusing style
Lindsay Laurie is an amusing guy
His hilarious poems catch my eye
Maurice Rigoler is a very funny man
I read his clever poems whenever I can
Jerry T Curtis I find is very funny
If he wrote a book he’d make lots of money
Darren Watson brings a smile to my face
His British sense of humour I think is ace
I cannot fail to mention the fabulous Arthur Vaso
He paints with funny words far better than Picasso!
Limericks are the forte of Duke Beaufort
These clever 5 line poems are my favourite sort
There are many other poets that I love to read
But humourous poets are my favourite breed
Contest:- Who are those funny Poets
Sponsor:- Judy Konos
13th November 2015
Categories:
funniest, friendship, how i feel,
Form: Couplet
A poet who was very late for a contest,
submitted a long poem on line, but
misspelled Zareba for Zebra!
Darn it, he was thinking of wild Africa!
Didn't it cost him points and a pain in the chest?
Categories:
funniest, poetry, words,
Form: Limerick
The funniest
mystery
the oldest of all
creation
the one at his
call all trembles
the decider of all
that exist
the one who
rule out kings,
queens,princes
and princesses
and set another
at his delight
who can
question him?
who can bribe
him?
who can seek
his face for
favour?
The one who
give pain and
pleasure is
forgotten.
It has not regard
for small nor
great,rich nor
poor.
Final is its
decision.
It passes as a
tale thats told
yet it be the
strongest of all
realities,precious
is it time.
Life the funniest
mystery
the oldest of all
creation.
Categories:
funniest, life
Form: Acrostic
From books to cartoons, apparel and home decor,
Mickey Mouse has been my ultimate idol...
who has more talent than he does?
Wonder why they made him such a unique mouse?
Mickey Mouse, the funniest character full of wit,
makes both children and adults laugh...
how and where did he learn his craft?
Walt Disney must have had fun drawing it!
On my library's shelves as high as the ceiling, you find
all of his books and magazines...isn't he supreme?
Doesn't he profoundly inspire and make you dream?
No, he's not the shy, little mouse...he can be so wild!
Look at his white baby face and black, round nose so squeezable:
he can be mad, funny, whimsical and sweet as any other kid...
would you love to squeeze him and make him your friend?
Where would you find a character more entertaining and playful?
Written by Andrew Crisci
for Linda-Marie's contest, " Disney "
Categories:
funniest, animals, children, funny, happiness,
Form: Rhyme