Grandma Francie had been a preschool teacher too long
She packed me a lunch one time when I was in sixth grade.
What are those? My tablemates asked as I rolled them out.
They were tiny bugs made out of apples, celery, dates and raisins.
I was humiliated and horrified. It was a lunch a three-year-old would love.
“Can I have one?”
I ended up giving them all away.
They wanted to know if grandma would sell them some.
Catastrophe avoided.
Fancy is as fancy does
and Francie never really was
Prone to wear a fancy dress
only under great duress
made her antsy and distressed
Francie much preferred the woods
pants, she wore, because she could
whose she was, she understood
What you get is what you see
delightful femininity
They have lots of hare in them, he warned me, but that was okay.
My family has a lot of hair too, even at the end of our life.
I still want to meet them. I told him. “Because that’s, okay.”
He added, “One of them has already consented to be my wife.”’
They are identical twins, he said, but you can tell them apart readily.
I hoped he was right; for I have trouble sometimes with the close up see.
We were ushered into their parlor where the gorgeous girls appeared in sight.
Their hair was longer than I expected. But their smiles were big and bright.
This is my beloved, Francie, he told me. And her sister Prancie May.
Moment I turned and saw her knew I could easily fall in love that day.
Long beautiful hair always makes me want to be romantic and swoon.
We were soon both completely in love and quite over the moon.
I brought her to dinner and the relatives could not top laughing at me.
Think it is a riot that even with Coke bottle glasses I can barely see.
They are jealous darling, my betrothed said. Do not let it bother you.
My mother was thrilled with our litter, grandchildren one to forty-two.
FANCY FRANCIE, FREQUENTLY FRANTICALLY
FREES FUNNY FASCINATING FARTS
FROM HER FAT FANNY
IF FRANTICALLY FASCINATING
FAT FREE FARTS ARE FREQUENTLY FUNNY
THEN WHAT MAKES FRANCiES FANNY FANCY
FOR DEBORAH GUZZI TONGUE TWISTERS
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