Funny Football Poems | Examples
These Funny Football poems are examples of Football poems about Funny. These are the best examples of Football Funny poems written by international poets.
Gregory was romantic
and new to teenage girls
his school mates up to antics
weak knees at Dottie's curls
she tests the football team
a better player than him
she's constant in his dreams
she finds him rather dim
he asks her out one day
but her friends are such a tease
they mess him all about
on dates he tends to freeze
his mates are just as dim
in this 80's funny movie
though his love life's looking grim
she's his pearl and very groovy
so take a look tonight
and give a movie whirl
it's a memory lane alight
nostalgic
'Gregory's Girl'
Edgar my dear
Why do you have that spear
Is that your plan?
When in a jam?
Scare the bloody Kansas City yellow and red
When they fight the fowl volture appearing dead
Spirit Haunting
Spirit Daunting
Blazing under the Baltimore sun
Until Poe's poetic message is done
No swift moves will be here
Only Chiefs carcasses holding their Daly beer
In the liveliest REM stage of his night
Bert beholds an unusual sight.
A troupe of pink elephants sound a trumpet blast
Then stomp united towards the grass.
On the other side, a team of tall strong guys
March to the pitch with focussed eyes.
"I'll be the goalie!' Dan told Bert.
'I'm least likely to get hurt."
Bert referees. His reminder the same,
"The joy's in the play, not winning the game."
At half time, a call is heard from Phil.
"How have the elephants scored two nil?
It's not right. It makes no sense...
Football's not for elephants!"
The guys huddle up and devise a plan
To catch as many mice as they can.
When the teams take position on the green
A commotion begins. A chaotic scene!
The elephants pale to white as a goose
When all the mice have been let loose.
The guys score goals before the mice disappear
The elephants play on, when free from fear.
Bert awakens amazed and confused.
He starts to laugh, feeling quite amused.
He answers the question written on Suzanne's face.
He fills her in on the match that took place.
coffee is a football mug
join us as we chug a lug
no matter the team
bring on the steam
next time serve it in a jug.
Yes, nostalgia does exist,
I reminisce on slimmer hips,
As I look at us today,
All I really want to say,
Is, we got fat for football, eh!
Soccer ball made from granola, dried grapes
Honey, brown sugar, oats, sunflower seeds
Almonds and chocolate chips form the ball that is fun to
Play the soccer game where everyone wins and the goalie eats the ball.
Eleven comedic players on each team want that
Soccer ball running after the tasty round thing, number 19 gets a Red card
Before the lemming, marmot, and prairie dog run
Biting a tasty crunch out of that flavorful round sphere.
Chocolatier is in competition for profit and prize with
Granolatier who in rivalry selling those two color round
Yummy soccer balls hoping the malamute doggie and
Spiky Yorkshire terrier stay off the game field and don’t eat the ball.
Soccer mom enjoys getting lots of granola soccer balls at the
Local grocery store every Saturday keeping one for herself,
One fun granola soccer ball lasts a week for driving and munching,
Accordion playing cheering moods for all biting that new soccer ball.
Today West Ham Went Berserk
And Bournemouth Lost Its Shirt
No Need for A Cover
Since Jason Was Sent Home to His Mother
So Far, Its Four
That the Hammies Have Scored
This Will Put A Little Space
In the Stay Out of Relegation Race
A New Coach Is Here In Spirit
And The Supporters Let Them Hear It
Hopefully He Knows How To Steer
As Everyone Cheers
But Honestly What Will West Ham Do
With This Athletic Job That Was Real Cool
An Olympic Year Is Hear, What Could Be the Fear
Must It Be Chatter About Building Costs That Matter
With the Stadium Finished in Japan
West Ham May Want to Make Good with Its Fan
Money and Goals Are Hard to Come
And We Enjoy These Two Things Since They Are Fun
So, Keep It Going My Dear Hammies
And Next Time Lets Do Another Slammy
For the Enjoyment of The Fannies
Many years of dreaming and searching
Will this be the year we finally stop hurting?
I can't believe these words are coming from my mouth
I can finally say England won a penalty Shootout
Three lions on our shirt and we won't be caged
This will be the year we perform on the biggest stage
In every game teamwork is vital
But here we are ready for the quarter final
We've Made it further than Argentina, Germany and Spain
Who needs a Lionel Messi or Cristiano Ronaldo when you have Harry Kane
Give the ball to Lingard, Alli or Marcus Rashford
Then they'll assist Kane to score
Football is all I've ever cared about, the world cup is the greatest show
During each game our confidence will grow
It could all go wrong with one mistake
But we know we're going to win as we have Gareth Southgate
It's no longer a secret, it's now known
That football is coming home
We're going all the way, I don't have any doubt
We're winning the world cup, because we finally won a penalty Shootout
Birthdays, 1957-`66.
Brown and gray, dead leaves allastray,
stalks wither in mourning, pumpkins slayed.
Dark at 5, little time to play,
clocks retreat, set back to save.
A gift wrapped football! Surprise! Again?
What`s that make Ma?, 9 or 10?
Just finish your cake and when you`re through,
homework then bed, tomorrow there`s school.
Birthdays in Autumn,
of which I'm a member.
70 in a row now,
all in November.
There once was a football fan from Philly
Who was known for being very silly
During the Eagles Super Bowl win
He dipped his chicken wings in gin
And gulped down Bud Light, dilly dilly
oh dear what can the matter be
come now and let's try and see
was it the patriots loss
or eagles touchdowns toss
this time was glad to see all stand
singing our anthem and holding hands
2/6/18
for oh dear what can the matter be contest
gl all
Take a knee and oppose the red white and blue, it seems to be the thing to do, when you feel you’re not being heard, or when someone calls you a dirty word, it really doesn’t matter to the DNC, they love it when you take a knee, they have feelings for you and your perceived god given rights, and plan to take them away, when the time is right, Funny, they don’t care if your black or white, they only care about votes and there rights, and they’ve figured out how to stay in the lead, trust me it’s not you they need, they need people coming in from all four sides, living in cities that help them hide, creating a chain of one brings two, three, and four, in a year there’s a million more, then you separate yourselves using the past, all the time saying division can’t last, too bad you can’t open your eyes and see, your being used by the DNC.
PARADIGM SHIFT.
Here is my version of a paradigm shift,
Socratic questions if you get my drift!
Why did God make the Universe elliptical?
To make an Aussie football, not spherical!
Why did God make football? See here,
To make men miserable, my dears!
Why did God make beer?
To make men happy, my dears!
So, some intelligent chappies here,
Taking beer to the football, no fears,
Now they're miserable and happy dears!
football
is all
crowd roars
kick soars
a pass
at last
man cave
men crave
cold ones
at once
demand
she panned
but serve
the beer
and chips
for dips
hubby
must pee
walks out
on lout
and shops
till drops
lonely
lady
returns
and learns
the lout
passed out
flat beer
oh dear
the game
now tame
half time
her time
clap hands
to bands
the game
what game!
“Guten Morgen”… or should I say “Good Morning”…
This is Punxsutawney Phil
Hailing you from Gobblers Knob
That’s my tiny hill!
Today, I am feeling like such a lucky ground hog…
I know that some of you may be weeping
But as for me I will soon be sleeping
Because, there’s going to be six more weeks of winter ~
You may say Phil what were you thinking!
Well, it was kind of hard to see here
With the rain turning to snow
It’s the day after the Super Bowl
Yet, somehow my shadow it did show;
You know I had to go,
Because, it frightened me so
Thus, back to bed I must go to hibernate
But not before my veggie shake…
By the way, the game was just great,
This is Phil signing off… Saying
“Haben Sie eine gute Nacht”
Meaning “Have a Good Night”
I’ve been up way too late!