At Festus I no longer wave.
I should save a not–safe image.
At all persons Festus would rave,
With this triggering plain outrage…
Last cause of Festus’ Anger “Dave”,
For which he called the Poor Guy “Slave”
“The best roof over Dave’s Head ‘Cave’s,”
The scene he’d keep frequenting ‘Grave’s…
Now; I am often on the run,
Mingling with Festus ‘poorest fun’…
Who knows? Tomorrow, a shot-gun
And the deed as good as ‘just done.’
Anita, Stanley and Poor Me
Festus won’t allow to feel free.
We're asleep in this graveyard
We can't hear you pout
So please leave your flowers
And get the hell out
(Dedicated to Ken Curtis who died April 28, 1991.)
When he starred in Gunsmoke, he truly blessed us.
I'm talking about Ken Curtis who starred as Festus.
He was dirty because he never bathed.
He irritated Doc Adams and he never shaved.
Talent was something that he never lacked.
When people watched Gunsmoke, they loved to see him act.
He wore a floppy, chewed-up hat
And he came to replace Chester,
Who limped off to a better deal
And then let sad feelings fester.
On Gunsmoke they called him Festus,
But his real name was Ken Curtis—
At first no one knew what to think,
Because Chester’s leaving hurt us.
His talk was high and real scratchy
And he spoke with a mountain twang—
Of course it was just put on thick,
For we all knew that he once sang.
Seemed like he needed a close shave,
His whiskers were mangy and wild—
He screwed up his face like Popeye—
It was hard to tell if he smiled.
It just seemed that he was cranky—
Most times had loud words with old Doc—
Out of fun they always quarreled—
Guess we thought that they’d never stop.
There was Marshal Dillon, Newly,
Sam the barkeep and Miss Kitty—
And those jingling spurs of Festus,
Long silent now – it’s such a pity.
Doc, Kitty and Sam are gone, too,
And Gunsmoke is long off the air—
Didn’t know how good Festus was,
Till we looked around and he wasn’t there.