He was a foul mouthed fellow from Falmouth
Who spouted and spewed some sewage - like slime
'Til he met a maiden who made a new man
And taught this rodent ridden rummy to rhyme
He piddled and puddled and peeled off a poem
Then sniffled and snuffled and sensed out a sonnet
He metered and teetered and tested a Tanka -
The maiden smiled and tipped him her bonnet
Soon the Queen quoted quips from his efforts
Said his musings were meant for the mellow
He grinned and penned a fabulous Footle
He was no more just a foul mouthed fellow
1-11-20
Contest: Twist My Tongue
Sponsor: Nina Parmenter
The bus driver and a rowing boat
I remember a song “A slow boat to China”
There was a man a bus driver who took his wife on holiday to Spain
where his wife ran away with a shepherd
The bus driver went home alone but had the house which exploded
(a gas leak) when he sat on the loo; he was unharmed but somewhat
embarrassed. When the insurance money, came he bought a rowing boat
which had a mast and he could set sail when the wind was right.
He landed in Falmouth before the winter storms.
When spring came he rowed and sailed to the island of Neves where
he met John Cleeve, who wrote a funny article about the brave man
and suddenly the bus driver was famous.
The rich people in Neve gave him money which put in a bank
(there are so many banks) when he went to the bank to draw
out money for an ice-cream, he found he was a millionaire.
High finance is a mystery and something had gone wrong
not for him to ask questions, but he did transfer the money
to a Swiss bank and took the first plane back to Europe.
The bus driver is now a prosperous cattle farmer in Andalusia.
Sam comes from that fantastic cathedral city,
Of majestic Coventry where there’s reconciliation,
Of people’s of different wartime allegiances,
For a brotherhood and forgiveness attestation;
He is partially sighted, born 1985 in the 80s mighty,
Went to Alderman Callow school, no compliances,
So he moved to specialist school Exhall Grange,
Had the purple house named after him for Judo,
Which his brother got him into for his range,
After broadcasting at Falmouth University to go;
He got silver at the 2007 Worlds, then again in 2010,
Bronze at the 2008 Paras, gold 2011, the Euro pen.
Sam came second in the 2012 Paralympics,
Third at the Euro 2015 Portugal Championships.
My eyes look through my head and heart,
They are so scared and plead to part,
Though I should see for them,
Lead a life where love will stem,
We'll travel to Falmouth shore,
She'll smash my inner alarm from snore,
Eat butties on the beach,
And let my heart peach,
Drink tea by the sea,
And let my eyes look above the clearest spring skies,
And minutes and moments and silence go by,
Our happiness heard in soft glad sigh,
Bleach blonde war paint on girls days away,
Yours is fair and flowing and as long as this day,
I never felt to feel somebody,
I take today and name it,
To humanise old wasted days,
Dark and numb like the empty church bell ring,
Hyms of hope but no followers to sing,
The street and people and life's unsteady pulse,
Makes our bodies due to convulse,
Makes the the brain so tense,
O future, o it's suspense...
Lay my hands on sweet summer,
Make me happy,
Away for good,
To find happiness and love as all should,
Syphen the bad from my head,
Let the fear peel and shed,
Let my eyes look through her heart, please now instead, instead
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