Factoid Poems


Premium Memberbaby daddy

How many women here
have been impregnated
by Elon Musk? looking for hands

He plans to repopulate the planet
single handedly - well, not handed
exactly - you know what I mean.

In Australia, great swaths of Texas,
and of course Mar-a-Lago, he’s a serial offender,
because his sperm is legal tender.

Factoid: you might catch a disease,
he’s sleeping with everyone north of Belize
and several of them, frankly, look sleazy.

Of course, you’d have to listen to him talk. shivers
Unless you say, “Hey, can we do this without conversation?”
That’s when you’d slip on your sleep mask, and, well, you know.
But what would you be thinking about?
.
.
FUN! by KiNG MALA [E]
BLOODONTHETIMBS by Bren Joy  [E]
Categories: factoid, baby, birth, character, child,
Form: Rhyme

MYSTERIES OF LIFE


          If you look hard enough, you end up finding
            There is no (factoid) explanation of life,
              but the (enigmatical) poetry of life."
Categories: factoid, allusion, analogy, extended metaphor,
Form: Epigram


Premium MemberStorms Happen

storms happen
happenstance stomps
selfish selfies inherit the wind
windmills become grist for the mill

Armageddon trending now
Utopia is Merriam-Webster's Word of the Day
go figure (& lie about the figures)
too many figurative flies in the proverbial soup

words float like moths to the factoid
sting like a bumbling bezoar
fly like a flock of birdbrains
put that in your pipe & tweet it
Categories: factoid, culture, humorous, satire, surreal,
Form: Free verse

Premium MemberAn App For That

A roommate shows me this hookup app - the consensus favorite.

“Call me crazy,” I say, “but if we’re reducing s3x to something 
cheap and cynical, wouldn’t p0rn be safer and easier?”

She frowns, as if I’ve espoused an unpopular political position
so I make a show of putting “join the app” on my to-do list 
- which is like sending it into outer space.

Sleeping with someone you don’t like - or even know, seems impolite, even seedy but there’s a power to it as well - knowing I could if I wanted to - I quash that thought as it rises, like heat.

Besides, factoid: I have an imaginary boyfriend, And although my thoughts are free to roam far and wide, I’m nothing if not faithful.
Categories: factoid, humor, school, teen,
Form: Free verse

Premium MemberFact Or Factoid

A duck

    can't cluck

      ~ So what
Categories: factoid, humor, sound,
Form: Epigram


Factoid On Vanity

The average man looks at himself
in the mirror 23 times a day,
the average woman 16 times

a British survey reports.
Men look to “admire” themselves,
the survey says, while women

look to be assured
all things considered
“they look okay.”


Donal Mahoney
Categories: factoid, vanity,
Form: Blank verse

Factor of Life

My only litmus test  is my brain
My heart stopped when I saw the real nature of the factoid
Can I be seeing you for the first time ?
You are the breath I take
My feeling of expression is not only my wealth but my nature
I am a robot to your love 
Your kisses are what my lips crave 
Please be real and not a figment of my imagination 
The existence of air and water refresh my soul
I can only see your vision if you let me 
Please take my hand
The car seems to be falling over the cliff 
Life is so fast 
This is dying 
I love it
Categories: factoid, cool, deep, desire, devotion,
Form: Ballad

Brain Fart

a blank mind sets in &
though it may only be for a
flash of a second,
the words you are really trying
to muster,
dangle like a doughnut on the end of
a stick in front of a policeman
waiting next to the turnstile of your
subway stop,
waiting to give you a ticket for
littering
(fill that quota at the bookends of 
the month then run to get that jelly)---
you reach out in your head,
trying to grab it,
as if you had dropped your pencil
and were floating to grasp it again
while waiting for takeoff in a zero-
gravity
space shuttle, set for commercial
flights---
your lips start to move to make the
sounds but the linkages aren’t
synched up just right & you 
babble out some sub-freudian slip
that in its best translation can’t 
even be construed as your native
language,
so in frustrated despair you
slap your brain across the face 
inside your skull while trying to
teeter-totter on that conversation
tight rope &
making the best of your pounding,
paradiddling, 
parapraxis,
you spit out some nonsensical 
factoid that basically gets ignored
anyway.
Categories: factoid, life,
Form: Free verse

O-Bam-A Question Or Two For You?

O- bam-a lot of people are unemployed.
How can you destroy this annoying factoid?

O- bam-a country is still at war.
Does this help any of the millions who are poor?

O-bam-a time to give everyone money.
Why can’t a hardworking man give a gift to his honey?

O-bam-a dispute with a cop.
Will you have a beer with me if I flop onto a chopping block?

O-bam-a change in health care is a buzzing bee.
What price will it ultimately be?

O-bam-a shot to stop the swine.
Is there enough to halt progress to yours or mine?

O-bam-a partie's glimmering success.
Does it eliminate this countries enduring distress?







Richard J. Long, November 2009
Categories: factoid, people, political, satire
Form: Couplet
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