Worship not your turtles on Tuesday
Driving a convertible in traffic is inadvisable
Places you at risk, in peril of bird droppings
Never yawn with mouth open and head up
Yawning is sacrilegious with seat belts off
If you have daughters, don't!
They are not turtles and this is not Vegas
If you have sons, feed them peanuts
They will not become elephants all of a sudden
But they are cheaper than you think
And much cheaper than pink
If you play cards on Thursday be warned
Turtles don't drink or smoke or gamble
Too many decks makes them sleepy
Don't worry about convertibles
Turtles drive trucks but not well
Never on Doomsday or Wednesday
That would be asking too much
They have trouble with the clutch
Doomsdays come around once in a lifetime
Never on Wednesday because that is canasta night
Beer and pretzels are free
(Bring your own pretzels and beer)
Leave your turtles at home
Worship them not on Tuesday
Canasta should never be trifled with
Bring two decks for security
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