Never Wednesday

Worship not your turtles on Tuesday Driving a convertible in traffic is inadvisable Places you at risk, in peril of bird droppings Never yawn with mouth open and head up Yawning is sacrilegious with seat belts off If you have daughters, don't! They are not turtles and this is not Vegas If you have sons, feed them peanuts They will not become elephants all of a sudden But they are cheaper than you think And much cheaper than pink If you play cards on Thursday be warned Turtles don't drink or smoke or gamble Too many decks makes them sleepy Don't worry about convertibles Turtles drive trucks but not well Never on Doomsday or Wednesday That would be asking too much They have trouble with the clutch Doomsdays come around once in a lifetime Never on Wednesday because that is canasta night Beer and pretzels are free (Bring your own pretzels and beer) Leave your turtles at home Worship them not on Tuesday Canasta should never be trifled with Bring two decks for security