"please sit on your sitzfleisches,"the 4th grade teacher said
Preschoolers do not understood German, so they continued to stand
"Sit on your hindquarters!" This was stated a bit louder.
The kids stared at her, still not understanding.
"Your haunches, your petootsies, your derrieres!"
They looked totally consternated now.
A preschool teacher walked in.
"Sit on your pockets," she said.
They all sat.
Categories:
derrieres, teacher,
Form: Light Verse
Time was, just a pretty face faced stare,
Figures flaunted nor were busts so bare,
Rears today rule the roost,
Get more than a fair boost,
But today but when bums blare, front gets a fair share.
_____________________________________
Happenings | 02.03.2016, revised May 2023|humour
Poet’s note: Today style rules over substance and package pulls more than the product therein. There may be windows of exceptions, but why, I wonder, derrieres are in news more than any other feminine asset?
Categories:
derrieres, body, humor,
Form: Limerick
An A.P.* who was filling in
To read aloud on Zoom
Just grabbed a book his own kids faved
And thereby met his doom.
The second graders loved it
But it didn’t make the cut
With his boss, because the title talked
Of needing a new butt.
The humor’s aimed at children
And describes, in certain parts,
The different types of derrieres
And also talks of farts.
Reluctant readers sometimes need
Such talk to be inspired
But still, the one who read it
Found out he had gotten fired.
This happened while America
Was celebrating reading
And surely censorship like this
Is not what kids are needing.
*Assistant principal
Categories:
derrieres, books,
Form: Rhyme
A billion dollar industry
With focus groups intent to see
Just what it is our pets might eat,
What tastes the best for meal and treats
What dogs might eat? Why do we care
When tasty bits from derrieres
Of woodland creatures on the ground,
By my sweet girl, are shortly found?
Thank goodness I don’t understand
Why deer poop seems to be so grand!
Were she not kept upon a leash
I’d never get her back, capeesh?
And then, returning from our walks,
She’d be remiss if she forgot
To thank me with a lick, a kiss
Affections that I short dismiss
I make her drink some water first
It’s always fresh to quench the thirst
My hope: the germs will take a swim;
Ensuing kiss won't be so grim.
Categories:
derrieres, dog, thanks,
Form: Quatrain
Two tiny, laughing dancers
twirl about on tippy toes
to silly songs they’ve made up,
till they land on ruffled derrieres.
1/15/2022
Lind30
7779
Bite size #32
Line Gauthier, sponsor
Categories:
derrieres, childhood,
Form: Verse
Haiku moves poets'
derrieres...Eden's Garden...
growth...extraordinaire
Categories:
derrieres, garden, growth, poetry, poets,
Form: Haiku
Devilish dervishes dancing diabolically delightfully,
Shaking their derrieres in frivolous frantic ferocity,
Heavy jack-o-lanterns join, thinking it will be fun.
Moon snaps a selfie to share with his friend the sun.
Witches watch from shadows, laughing themselves sick.
Forest is incredibly mystical tonight, totally black and thick.
Werewolves think they are invited, bring wolf spider dates.
This terrific Halloween night, many will be shoved over crates.
Categories:
derrieres, 3rd grade, 4th grade,
Form: Rhyme
As I go through
some old photos,
I can't help but notice,
that we must have been
caught off guard,
at times we look tired,
like we just want to retire,
constipated,
or simply frustrated,
poker faced,
or like we forgot
to tie our shoe laces,
(thats the ones
with the derrieres),
or like were in a hurry
and a tizzy,
even look kind of tipsy,
or like we don't
even care,
so from now on,
not wanting to even
see a frown,
I'm going to count to 3,
then maybe per chance,
you all will have a chance,
to smile and say cheese!
Categories:
derrieres, humor, smile,
Form: Light Verse
girl watching with pride
hips, legs, breasts and derrieres
MUCHO FUN INDEED!
Categories:
derrieres, beautiful, women,
Form: Senryu
We've always been obsessed with hair
Ponytails or long and flowing
Medusa's hair would turn you to stone
If you gazed on it, no joking
In the 60s a Broadway hit called “Hair”
With its popular anthem “Aquarius”
Prompted a new age of sexual revolution
Some of the sights were hilarious
What's the attraction I don't understand
Seems kinda primitive to me
Being obsessed with this body adornment
It's kinda pagan wouldn't you agree
Imagine if we had the same obsession
With some other interesting parts
How about plump and rhythmic derrieres
Call it “Bums” with the hit song “Farts”
Sorry I got totally lost in my thoughts
Such a silly billy I am
So back to poetry about social issues
To prove I can be serious, I can
© Jack Ellison 2012
Categories:
derrieres, funny,
Form: Quatrain