Lemony
[Verse]
Fourteen years old
So I am told
Lately, she really shows it
Except at meals
She barks and squeals
The time? It’s like she knows it
[Verse]
She sleeps all day
Then wants to play
Before the sun has come up
What frustrates most?
Deaf as a post
So she can’t hear my shut up!
[Chorus]
Oh, Lemony! You are a mess
You are so lazy
Oh, Lemony! I must confess
You drive me crazy
[Verse]
She’s a strange girl
I want to hurl
The things she’s always eating
Beware in case
She licks your face
It is her way of greeting
[Verse]
Twelve hours straight
It’s pretty great
From dawn to dusk, just doing nothing
At night of course
Barks herself hoarse
Then eats the sofa stuffing
[Chorus]
Oh, Lemony! You are a mess
You are so lazy
Oh, Lemony! I must confess
You drive me crazy
[Verse]
I know one day
She’ll pass away
And I won’t have this trouble
She makes me mad
But I’ll feel sad
And I will surely miss her snuggles
[Chorus]
Oh, Lemony! You are a mess
You are so lazy
Oh, Lemony! I must confess
You drive me crazy
[End]
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Categories:
deaf as a post, dog,
Form: Lyric
Violin
Bought home in a battered case one day
He took it out and and scratched away
Playing out of tune and terribly flat
He scared the daylights out of the cat
The horsehair that ran along the bow
Had escaped and departed long ago
Never mind, he played without a flinch
While next door the neighbours winced
Melodies unrecognisable to human ear
He can't keep time or bum notes hear
'I'm a virtuoso!' he likes to boast
But in truth - he's as deaf as a post
20 April 2023
V words writing challenge poetry contest
Constance la France
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Categories:
deaf as a post, humor,
Form: Rhyme
Deafness Is Serious
Old Clarry was deaf; yes deaf as a post,
and couldn't hear a word that was said.
But he'd sit alone while we conversed,
when we gathered in young Harry's shed.
I suppose old age gets us all in the end,
but Clarry's still here and he's ninety two.
He doesn't need glasses and his heart is okay;
it's just this deafness that has come through.
Then one day at our get-together,
Clarry with a grin had something to tell,
he said the doctors had found him a cure,
and now he can hear us as clear as a bell.
I said to Clarry "That's just amazing;
they've reversed your ears on the wane.
Your family must be over the moon,
to know you can hear them again".
Old Clarry grinned "I ain't told the family,
I don't think their hearts could stand the strain.
I just sit in me chair and hear what they say.
I've changed me will twice and intend to again”.
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Categories:
deaf as a post, humor,
Form: Rhyme
No One Told Me What To Do
No One Told Me what To DO
So I just go on
Following You
But my own words I make into prose
and still make mistakes from my toes
AS I never said I was a poet
And If I was I would not know it
I think I listen to just two or three on here
That's the same number as my ears (just two will do.. As have checked my ears)
So although I write
I do take fright
As It's you that I really want to hear
Not the ear wax in my ear
That blocks out all the sounds
which could be quite profound
Deaf as a post me
Not just quite yet..
but what a reality..
The sound of my own silence
lingering around
DAMO
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Categories:
deaf as a post, appreciation,
Form: Free verse
Cucumber Pie
Are cucumbers cool
As a general rule?
How fresh is a daisy?
Are loons always crazy?
How snug is a bug
When he’s not in a rug?
How gentle are lambs
If not happy as clams?
How clever’s a fox
That’s as dumb as an ox?
How fit is a fiddle
Not clean as a whistle?
Are doornails most dead,
Or are dodos instead?
Is it drier than toast
To say “deaf as a post”?
Such puzzles befuddle and much mystify
Till suddenly you see they’re as easy as pie!
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Categories:
deaf as a post, funny, humor, humorous,
Form: Light Verse
Like, As
i never saw the doornail die
never caught sight of a fox that sly
i didn't cure a dog so sick
didn't steal a glance of thieves so thick
i can't walk tight a rail that thin
can't see some sight as ugly as sin
i didn't ever take any punch so pleased
or been flashed by lightening that slippery greased
i can't light bituminous coal so black
or pointedly aim as sharp as a tack
didn't touch a witch's tit so cold
- i'd feel it's not as good as gold
i can't squish in any mud so clear
or finger a lobe cute as a bug's ear
folks shout i'm as deaf as a post
in fact i'm even worser, than most
i can't hear a fiddle so fit
in fact i don't give a - damn
a simile is as cool as winter's rain
so i utter them like, again, and again
true, i'm as buzzed as a bee so busy
but i don't think a bee's like a simile, is he?
© Goode Guy 2013-03-06
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Categories:
deaf as a post, humorous, introspection, on writing
Form: Couplet