Ignorance is bliss said the uneducated Miss
Take the tiger by the tail, and then give a hiss.
A snake in the grass thought outside of the box
You can’t judge a book by its cover, said the ox.
Like a kid in the proverbial candy store
Good things come to those who wait said Moore.
In the nick of time there was a loose cannon swarm.
All together it became the perfect storm.
Cliques are like cans of worm said a tiny newborn.
But like all God’s favorite things, every rose has a thorn.
Grandma said, “The apple does not fall far from a tree.”
She was referring of course, to that arrogant baby, Little Lee.
What goes around comes around, Daddy interjected.
That’s the pot calling the kettle black, Mom said, feeling rejected.
No sense in beating a horse to death, said the uneducated Miss.
The grass is always greener on the other side. She blew them a kiss.
There are plenty of fish in the sea, they told Uncle Hank.
But now he felt dead as a doornail, he was sweet on Miss Lank.
He must have gotten up on the wrong side of the bed someone said.
If only walls could talk! Hank lamented. His face was quite red.
I would give an arm and a leg to see him, she said.
She was going to meet a new guy by name of Ted.
Only time will tell if things will turn out okay.
I am weak as a kitten, I heard my friend say.
At the end of the date she had the time of her life.
She expected this guy Ted to make her his wife.
I said, I hope you did not speak of your crazy short leg.
No, she nodded. I avoided that like the plague.
I took the tiger by the tail, she told me smugly.
Thought outside the box, called myself May Puggly.
There are plenty of fish in the sea, I reminded her.
Just in case the expected outcome did not occur.
It is as plain as the nose on my face she said later.
He was not much of a man, a notorious dater.
He is now as dead as a doornail me, that hack!
Was she actually the pot calling the kettle black?
Time sure did fly when I was having fun.
But now that he has stood me up, this creep had better run!
Behind the door,
Lay your shattered tears in seafloor,
Pardon my betrayal outdoor,
My heart wandered away indoor,
Through the trap door,
Never let this guy indoor,
She recalled his spoor,
Washing the floor,
Broken doorknobs,
A love stopped to a hidden doorsill,
He laments in the dooryard.
Doorways dispersed the doorstops...
Crying her heart, a home withoutdoors,
Dead as a doornail...
Never to be hurt, by another so called man.
My heart is now shattered, in pieces like glass.
You drug me thru your hell, now it's my turn.
I'll gladly strike a match, and watch your demons burn.
Ashes to ashes dust to dust.
Will be the words I'll scream, at the top of my lungs.
Forever gone, dead as a doornail.
Whatever you call it
Beware your ex fairytale.
I look through these trinkets
You've collected since birth
I'm left here to wonder
Do they have any worth
People didn't matter
For them you had no use
It was things you cared for
people you gave abuse
Your life partially lived
Didn't end soon enough
You created pain
In the pursuit of stuff
Dead as a doornail
your things left behind
Given away to others
Now in death you are kind
I'm feeling mentally unstable
Apparently I just lost my cable
Television done gone on the fritz
Gonna' miss my Monday Night blitz
Telephone dead as a doornail
Can't check my freekin' email!
This service ain't nothin' but trash!
Guess I'll go to the bar and get smashed
What's this? It's back on? How 'bout that?
Guess I won't need this baseball bat...
Why Didn’t the Armadillo Cross the Road?
By Elton Camp
We see them on the highway dead as a doornail
Despite a suit or armor over all but head & tail
Is it because they’re stupid or are they just slow
That so many deaths by cars armadillos undergo?
It is because they have such a strange survival skill
It works well in the woods, but on roads will kill
When its natural predator happens to come around,
All its legs go down and shoot it high off the ground
So that whatever enemy of the armadillo stands there
Will quickly run away because it got a frightful scare
But in the event a speeding car, the armadillo is atop
It hits the bottom of the car when it tries its usual hop
Take note if you are the operator of a road-kill café
From armadillo and its meat you better stay well away
A small percentage of them, the germ of leprosy carry
So as to carving them up for food, you should be wary
Certain it is to be at steady aim
at any time
at any place
the dead mans eternal race
Shock the barstool
take the shots
given by the winged sculptures who gawk from the pughes
A pecking order in the house of flocks
Not important enough for dirt
decomposition of the minds eye comes last
Anatomy has no hidden agenda
just a set of character traits it’s amassed
Forced entry
Chalk it up to bad luck
dead as a doornail
stiff as a board
the cliches have run amuck
Just a standard breach of contract
between humanity and oblivion
Don't take offense
Trust there will be no forgiving
So what is said
at the end of your life
if the question is "how was it truly living?"
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