Crotches Poems | Examples


Clothesline of Joy

At the end of another summer day
Rainbow of deflated asses crotches and breasts strung along our deck railing
Flail like a Tibetan prayer flag
Under the smoky umbrella of burgers and brats
Grilling for dinner

Souls adrift from their left behind soaked skin
The sleeves and pantlegs re-begin

Arms and legs jog in place
In the cool lungs of a dry evening breeze

Moon sheen of shoulders and knees

Minutes before dawn
Creased pressed and ready for a new day
They kick and whisper rearrange themselves by order
A titter of
Generations past present and future

Here the people come!
Grandpa and grandma moms and dads sisters brothers
An army of kids teenagers to toddlers

Hurray! One by one
Like rays sprung from the sun
Once again

Off
The dried suits are plucked
Hot bodies slip back into place

Here we go
Body and soul
Made whole for another summer day
Of swimming.
Categories: crotches, celebration, family, happiness, morning,
Form: Free verse

Premium MemberNeapoliticians

Get right with the creator...
Teach your kids how to fish.  
Give EVERYBODY a second chance or even a third
(that's if they're not to vicious).
After that you're wasting your-breath- my dirty dime.  
Do hire more GOOD police they're quite necessary
To keep the hell hounds off the streets.

Thin out the Neapolitan herd of 
STRAWBERRY KNEED race baiting politicians.
BLACK HEARTED MEDIA HEADS.
Billowing out the pale sludge of lie and half-truths. 
Thin out the GREEN- EYED OLIGHARCS.
Greasing the souls and crotches of politicians.

Do promote peace within your family.
Don't paint people in your backwash of hate...
The community will bud-cities will bloom...again.

Tend to your teeth -a smile will naturally follow.
A smile can make all the difference.
....and did I mention, get right with God.
We'll all be better off...somewhat.
Categories: crotches, abuse,
Form: Free verse


Premium MemberMy Dog Is a Criminal

My dog is a criminal 
A beggar, a thief
She has a rap sheet two miles long
Do we care? No
Will we turn her in? Never.
No one gives us more joy than this felon.
The neighbors can buy their stuff back at our garage sales.
Mrs. McLairty never buys back her panties though
We see them come from her clothes line and we feel badly
By the time they get to our yard, our dog has eaten the crotches out of them.
No one else’s, only Mrs. McLairty’s. No idea why.
Categories: crotches, dog,
Form: Prose Poetry

Trump Is Pompous

Trump Is Pompous

Trump is pompous as he will prance
Now has to take a goal line stance
For women he has been abusing
Thought to himself it was amusing
Grabbing crotches and pinching pants.

If I remember correctly the word 
in the past was called goosing.

Jim Horn
Categories: crotches, humorous,
Form: Limerick

Premium MemberMiddle Earth

MIDDLE EARTH


I see the gaping maw approaching
ivory white saliva covered teeth
slobbering over red gums
tongue lolling about
reaching for my face.

Knees!!  Dammit!!!  Knees!!
God are there some ugly knees
rippled, dimpled, dumpling shaped
sticking through the holes in new jeans
smiling at me.

Butts!!  Posteriors!!  Cheek-sets!!
Bumping and bouncing
a constant “cha-cha-cha”
rippling tide afloat in yoga pants
spandex containment
seeking release.

Table bottoms….gawd-a-mighty
therapy….yes!!…I’ll need therapy
Don’t let me touch that stuff!!!
Better yet….stop sticking whatever
under the tables.

I see crotches…grabbed
by men….not playing baseball
just …. just….damn….more therapy
and women in spray painted
“body clinging” fashion art.

I see other kids…in strollers
at the edge of shock
unprepared for what awaits them
around the corner
just down the block.


9/1/2015

submitted to – Through the eyes of a child – Poetry Contest
Categories: crotches, child, humor,
Form: Verse


Those Damn Wet Bandits

Two inept crooks robbed my house while I was on vacation.
They left my water running and they died by strangulation.
Besides robbing me, those idiots also made me have to pay a two hundred dollar water bill.
They were already beaten by my neighbors eight year old son, as crooks, they had no skill.
I decided to go to the Police Station and post their bail.
Before I was through, they wanted to go back to jail.
I shot them in their crotches and burned their heads with my blowtorch.
Those dumbasses were screaming in agony because their heads were scorched.
Before strangling them, I used my shotgun to blow off their kneecaps.
Everybody had better start to learn that I will not take people's crap!

(This poem is based on the 1990 'Home Alone' movie.)
Categories: crotches, funny, humor, poems,
Form: Rhyme

Premium MemberYour Crotch and You

As crotches go, mine is up there with the best

I would even classify it as exceptional

One would think it all comes down to size

But size is only part of the equation

Of course size is a very major consideration

But as important is it's appearance of strength

I think you know what I'm getting at

The forward thrusting motion is a major factor

In fact, probably if I had to decide

THE most important attribute is a strong forward thrust

And equally important is the quick recoil

In fact, I have just published a book on the subject

It's called, “Your Crotch And You”

An in-depth study to help you to understand

This most precious part of your anatomy

For only $19.99 U.S. including shipping

This important self-help book can be yours

We don't offer a money back guarantee

But will come to your home if you provide travel expenses

To answer any questions you might have

And also assist you physically if that is required

It is a limited time offer so DON'T DELAY!




Dedicated to my dear cyber sister, Jan

© Jack Ellison 2014
Categories: crotches, humor,
Form: Narrative

Premium MemberCrotches and Scotches

There once was a bold prig named Wiener
who had an unsightly demeanor
he took pics of his crotch
after two shots of scotch  
"Where's his wife? Well nobodies seen her."
Categories: crotches, funny,
Form: Limerick

The Night Hides Stars

The night hides stars explode silence waves in malls consumers stare into lights blank 
pupils a poet loses his words to rock-stars and rap-stars clutching crotches smiling gold 
scarred in oils van gogh rots in his grave his yellow fades fields of grain
Categories: crotches, visionary,
Form: Free verse

Michael"s Dance

Why do they grab their crotches frequently
   those dancers, rappers on MTV?
      I've tried, but still can't figure it out
         just what on earth that dance move's all about.


Must be a pop or hip-hop hand routine
   that crotch-clutching flick of a mannequin
      with nothing there that's meant to be obscene,
         but which these prudish eyes just now have seen.


But then if it's because of poor hygiene,
   the derma-doc must check what's in between;
      if they don't wash and scrub themselves real clean,
         like chimps with lice, they'll scratch, they'll make a scene.


No worry though, something could still be done:
   if they don't scrape the itch, it would be gone.
      Well, Michael Jackson, pop king of all climes,
         at fifty, still clutches his crotch fifty times!
Categories: crotches, funny
Form: Rhyme

Michael's Crotch Dance

Them dancers, singers there on MTV,
why do they grab their crotches frequently?
     I've tried, but I still can't figure it out
     just what on earth that dance move's all about.

That crotch-clutching flick of a mannequin
must be a part of hip-hop hand routine
     with nothing there that's meant to be obscene,
     but which these prudish eyes just now have seen.

But then if it's because of poor hygiene,
it's time to see the doc, to check what's in between;
     if they won't wash and scrub themselves real clean,
     like chimps with lice, they'll scratch, they'll make a scene.

But sure, they know too well what should be done:
if they don't scrape the itch, it will be gone;
     well, Michael Jackson, dance king of all climes,
     at fifty, clutches still his crotch fifty times!
Categories: crotches, artdance, dance,
Form: Light Verse

Shirts-Trousers As Sequel

Humble stone was intolerably warm,
That ice block was numbing cold,
Those nails were pining to pierce,
The poisonous worms and snakes in jungle,
Were ready to sink in their stocks,
I was to sit,squat,walkand run in these environs,
I squirmed to think,
What would have happened if,
We as a civilization,
Not invented our present avatar,
Below the waist garments,
Admirably represented by trousers,
In fact the day we developed awareness,
Of our crotches and what is contained therein,
We came to grab something to hide,
That we can now tailor and more,
Shows that we have not only leaped,
A mile in physical security,
But also developed abashed ness with abundant clarity.
Categories: crotches,
Form: Free verse
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