Cleanest Poems

Life In The Mountains

What would it be like
If you lived in the mountains
Breathing the cleanest air
Sunshine unfiltered by smog
Endless hours walking through nature
No loud noises would ever be heard
And the solitude you always wanted
What would it be like
If you lived in the mountains
It would be a life you always wanted
But a life that you could never imagine

© Poem – XX/VIII/MMXXV
LRET

Picky Nose

   I used to love to pick my nose.
   After 3,
   Better than playing with my toes.
   With a nose you see,
   Each little crevasse has a surprise for me!
   A goober,
   A booger.
   Nothing I would find amiss.
   Cleanest nose in town,
   Until Momma was around.

   Momma said, "Don't pick your nose,
                         You might get it on my hose!
                        There are not gold doubloons in there,
                         Just goobers and boogers.
                         Perhaps a bit of hair."

   But that's the whole point!
   My boogers and goobers,
   Are my snacks at night!
   Mommas in bed.   
   It's dark,
   No one will see.
   Just me and my nose,
   Boogers and goobers are free!

Calm

I cried looking in your 
Inquiring tear ridden eyes
Cradled your soft paw
last Breath released your
Soul floating way
Helpless my dear friend 
I can never imagine 
Why a God would ignore 
Suffering and Death 
Even the cleanest of 
Angelic creatures deserve 
Better treatment 
A plethora of emotions 
Are flooding my 
Universe of helplessness

Sink or Swim

A tropical vacation that I never shall forget
The clearest cleanest ocean that I’ve ever seen as yet
I dabbled in a rock pool with a bamboo handled net
I told my wife, “It’s just for fun, to see what I might get.”

She said, “I know you all too well, you’re looking for a pet,
But look around, there’s no one here - you’ll never find a vet.
So go check out that ocean blue and get your Speedos wet,
I’ve never seen you swim a stroke; not since the day we met.”

I couldn’t let her know why I broke out in such a sweat 
The fact I never learnt to swim is something I regret
But I was loathe to let my children’s mother see me fret
And so I said, “I think instead, I’ll have a cigarette.”

How soon we stepped on British tarmac from our Jumbo Jet
My wife waved to our eldest son who’d brought his red corvette
She handed him a ten pound note and said, “That clears my debt,
You’re right, your father cannot swim: I guess you won the bet.”

Unstoppable Elder O Anyunku

A gem I taught in his school
And under him grabbed the rule:
An Igbo man from Okpo,
Whose enemies she shot “Kpoo!”

With him you don’t around fool:
He’d begin to lose his cool.
Staff learnt to submit their notes,
Even if one had twelve coats
But with same staff reveled
And with that up things leveled…

No intimidating him -
His wine glass fills to the brim;
To me a Second Father
That should’ve been First rather…

When Okpo had wars Radar
But would not burst foe’s bladder;
For himself raised sweet children,
Who avoided hot Cauldron: 
A hero engineer son,
Who goes out to meet the Sun
And a lawyer daughter
One might rate Cleanest Water…

Just recently lost his wife;
Death has walked in with its knife!

But he’s the unstoppable 
Forever capable!

Ticking Clock

The cleanest water source
Radiates a bright golden light
Light rain, this snow, that pleasant wind,
But somehow, the weather is still cloudy
A sky darker than usual
Will I ever see the bright golden sunlight?
How long will this fertile soil last?
This place so flawless I would build my home
But the scarcity is so great
Will I ever be in a place as good as this?
Every tick hurts like a stab
I don't need the sunlight.

Nora Is Getting Poorer

I feel for next-house Nora
Getting poorer and poorer:
A plant facing stem borer
While she seems a goal scorer 
Her idle hours rarer 
State of things not fairer...

Nora's younger: Victoria
Is doing well in Pretoria
And her cousin Eugenia
Sure to become engineer ;
In South Africa clever
And there could live forever
No causeless xenophobia
When with host shares her beer...

I feel for striving Nora 
Refused loan by rich Dora
Who drives the cleanest Bora 
And exudes sparkling aura.

Sorry we say to Nora 
Sleeping lightly; no snorer.

Different Strokes

In final exams scored zero:
Who drives The Cleanest Pajero;
The Guys ahead of him in class
Aware he is of Upper Class:
Enjoying financial morning
But after exams mourning...

Todd could with The Law have a brush
And a cop to hospital rush:
Bodyguards with exploding shots,
Richly paid but in agreed shorts...

Wishing to be like Todd A Gross:
Those who'd guessed they couldn't be Boss.
Life, forever, Different strokes;
The first lesson for all hurt blokes.

Spider Footles

Autumn Arachnid Drink

Spider
Cider

The Bridge Spider

Spider
glider

The Goliath Birdeater

Wider
Spider

The Wolf Spiders’ Babies

Spider’s
Riders

An Aquatic Spider

Strider
Spider

Spider on Ice

Spider
Slider

Spider to Beware of

Spider
Hider

The Fickle Spider

Flighty
spidey

Cleanest Cobwebs in Town

Tidy
spidey

Daddy Long Legs

Fatty
Daddy

November 10, 2022
For 'A BRIAN STRAND PREMIERE CHOICE' Poetry Contest

I Was Defected

You had things wrecked with your Nope
And I could no longer cope:
I, who had the cleanest hope
Of conquering Rugged Slope,
Soon slacking for what I lacked
That your could give but out backed;
Showing how words strong zeal crack
And down the sound idea hack...

My defeat was your "Loud Nope",
Running a school fought with rope:

Twenty years ago you did 
And a Praised Talent was hid;
Presently A Mad Idea 
Poetry I face Top Gear

Oral Sex In Nigeria

A French walked into Nigeria with it,
Straight to Rose flower Hotel you can’t quit;
The Man’s Partner: Her Cleanest prostitute
At negotiating prices The Astute
And because he was dying for it ‘shrewd,’ 
Over her cruel price did not dare brood…

Hotel Material and Four Figures high, 
Not caring it might White Guy leave dry: 
And it’s not about thrusts, mere plain licks;
A flesh-close tongue mimicking wavy sticks

One might say a woman meaning to rob,
After some French had her sold The Job;
All to The Glory of Hardworking Satan
And bound to be bad to Prophet Nathan… 

And for six hours White French at work
Just after Bottle forfeited its cork;
Doubly Satisfied Eve moans a “Don’t pay…”
“But be sure you’re here without fail next day!”
All The sagacity of The Devil
Out to make Straight Lines of Life bevel.

Twixt Christmas Eve and New Year

 
‘Twixt Christmas Eve and New Year
A time to reflect or regret 
We ate and drank too much methinks
when family and friends we met
We remember loved ones no longer here
Fast approaching the end of another year

As the clock begins to strike
On the very dot of midnight
We are praying Covid 19 goes away
And stepping out to breathe
the freshest cleanest air 
For years we took for granted you and me 
And longing once again to be mask free

Life ne’er can be the same 
since COVID 19 came 
Are you and I the ones
to really take the blame
Or was the sign from up above 
to show Mother Earth more love
For to care ~ not to destroy
appreciate ~ and to enjoy
Our Mother Earth for all that she is worth...

Written 30th December 2021
     
Contest   CORONAVIRUS  (COVID 19)
Sponsor  Robert James Liquori

Contest A STRAND (1062)
Sponsor Brian Strand
N/A

Bad Pennies

Writing is a messy feast
where crumbs fall to the floor
to aggregate and congregate
to hide and form and spore

Left alone and thrown away
these remnants take new life
invading what you fear the most
on dark and stormy nights

They creep inside your cleanest lines
to weaken and distract
what memory long has cast aside
now rising from the cracks

And latching on while holding tight
they make you speak their name 
those orphaned crumbs your table cleared
—in sweeping lost disdain

(Dreamsleep: October, 2021)

Licking Each Other

Cats are the cleanest animals on the planet
Constantly licking their fur, sure gets my ballot
In fact they lick each other 
Their sisters and brothers
Imagine! Eeuw, not yummy for my palate

Ha! Fooled you!

She Brought Her Fish With Her

She brought her fish with her
To remind her of home
And because she trusted no one to feed them like she did
She was persnickety like that

They were not nice to her today,
roughed her up a bit while they strip-searched her.
Told her after all she had gone through
She could see her husband tomorrow. He was in punishment.

What could be more punishment than where he was?
She stared across the courtyard at the prison
Wondering which window belonged to him
Did he even have a prison?

The bed was lumpy, uncomfortable 
And she found someone else’s hair in the sheets
Not the cleanest room she had ever rented
But she wanted to stay where she was, so she kept this quiet.

Praying that tomorrow she might actually get to see her man
After they roughed her up and strip searched her.
She told the fish “You don’t know how lucky you are”
having no idea her husband had hanged himself three days prior.

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