When the wind chimes high
when the wind chimes low
through the links
in his kilt he'll go
all the lassies say hello
Donald where's your troosers?
A slimy heel slippery eel
tho' no feared he'd take the fall(s)
he lost his breeks on the course
where caddies dropped (all) his ball(s)
With apologies to Andy Stewart (1933 – 1993)
Categories:
caddies, celebrity, fun, golf, humor,
Form: Rhyme
why does she get two familiars? The other witches asked their Daddies.
They had no idea, but her parents did drive three brand new Caddies.
Perhaps they are on the take, criminals, one suggested with glee.
Poof, the little witch turned that Daddy into an elm tree.
Maybe she did something wonderful, another Daddy said.
Little witch thought he was a suck up, and turned him into a bed.
The third daddy kept his mouth shut, seeing women’s wrath before.
He had six older sisters, whose antics most of us would deplore.
Categories:
caddies, 10th grade, 11th grade,
Form: Rhyme
If you read the reviews
And review the reports,
You'll conclude I'm a dude
Who is no good at sports.
At badminton, lawn darts, or table tennis,
No record of my name's in that book by Guinness.
When I tried to play baseball
The coach was sarcastic.
I ran like a windmill, he said,
That was spastic.
But the rest of my teammates said they had no bothers
'cause I kept the bench nice and warm for the others.
Gymnastics, wrestling, touch football, the same,
I was simply no good at those physical games.
Even when I tried golf
All the caddies would scoff,
So the country club canceled my guest privileges pass.
So, suffice it to say my abilities lay
In arenas requiring less sweating.
I eschewed the life athletic
And pursued one more aesthetic,
But two things I excel at, I'm betting.
I'm quite good at remembering small victories I win,
And my flops I am tops at forgetting.
Entered You Choose Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Brian Strand
Jan. 11, 2023
Honorable Mention
Thanks, Brian
Categories:
caddies, humor, sports,
Form: Light Verse
The world has returned to its senses....
How totally great!
We remembered we are humans not email addies,
To be deleted and tossed into
trash right away,
Such impolite caddies.
People are dancing in the streets,
We are not fools anymore.
Christmas is coming, some of us
recall.
When the true King was born, that glorious morn.
Many know what's going on.
We woke from a bad dream and sing only God's song.
There is nothing to fear at all,
Just sing of Him, all day long.
Love to all poets and families
Panagiota 12/5/2020
Categories:
caddies, christmas,
Form: Rhyme
This game of golf as is this life,
Played all life, perfect still can't be,
Ever reminding of one’s wife,
Put on pedestal, upon tee,
Handicaps, roughs, bogies stay rife,
And played as if on edge of knife!
Easy to start, hard to finish,
And harder ever to master,
Followed like an unfulfilled wish,
Always one stroke from disaster,
As in life, handicaps bridge gap,
Eagles two, birdies claim one clap.
What rage be this game every age,
As many highs as there be lows,
A game ever on players grows,
Ageless be this sport in image—
To my liking a bit high brow,
Pricey clubs, carts, caddies in tow.
And if ye think you the ball drive,
Beware of game that drives you naïve,
This game of greens, good to relax,
Greener still goes envied player,
And greatest of a leveller,
Pro or novice likes it like sex.
_____________________________________________
Reflections | 01.10.04 |
Categories:
caddies, games, golf, green, humor,
Form: Narrative
Twas the day after Christmas
Throughout the North Pole,
Not a creature was working
Not one Ho! Ho! Ho!
The elves were at home
They had the day off
Santa was gone
To Hawaii, to play golf
A little R and R
With his island wahine
Displaying her snow globes
In her Christmas bikini
Mrs Claus was visiting
Family back east
And the reindeer were grazing
On their tropical feast
When all of a sudden
Out on the back nine
His cart left the path
Cause he'd gone snow blind
All of the golfers
Caddies and guests
Came running with cell phones
Photographing the mess
There in the sand pit
Was Santa red faced
His wahine on his lap
It was such a disgrace
But Santa took names
For next year's big list
If you weren't in Hawaii
"I'm sorry, you missed"
December 25
Wahine: pronounced /wa he' ne
Daniel Turner
Categories:
caddies, christmas, humor,
Form: Rhyme
liquorice sticks
strawberry twizzlers, peppermint patty
all I have adored since I was five
hoarded in drawers, hidden in candy caddies, traded for with Sis and Dad, how we grinned
with shopping bags filled to the very brim
On that night of all nights when all nice neighbors did greet, each child or grownup with a candy treat,yes, Halloween. Costumes, some so easy in sheets they'd fly, wrapped in white with flashlights for eyes,they'd howl at the door and ask for their prize. Some parents, so absorbed, they'd complicate the scene by dressing their kids as golden yellow marshmallow peeps. So some kids were scary and some kids were sweet. Some children said BOO and others said TWEET!
Categories:
caddies, candy, child,
Form: Verse
Jamaica was always known for cultivating
the brightest and the best,
Academically, most scholars soared through
all their tests,
Our Island provided warmth and beauty,
Yet, the music of the modern generation
has tarnished our reputation,
Most, think of us as gun slingers, drug
dealers and vagabonds,
Our women are viewed as piranhas on
the run,
Through advertisements and word of mouth
Jamaican men are viewed as abusers or elusive
Baby Daddies or hustlers who cruise around in caddies,
They don't love us anymore,
The hate shows as they cleverly try to shove us through the doors,
concocting crimes and airs of suspicion,
Being a Jamaican has become a whirlwind
of negative labels such as aggression, crimanalism and drug running,
They never tell the real stories how the other half lives,
They don't love us anymore, so they would rather show
our lives hanging from the ballads or on the skids.
Categories:
caddies, confusion, introspection, people, political,
Form: Dramatic Monologue