Food Burlesque Poems

I wonder if it is true,
That we produce more E-waste than food for you and me.

If I had a magic wand on me,
I would turn...

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Captain Tabby Longtail stands
Like Ahab at the helm,
His Jolly Roger flying high
Above his salty realm.
He’ll keelhaul your scurvy carcass
If you give him any bull,
And he’ll...

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For most life is a smorgasbord of choice,
With only the occasional meal at a waited table to test the power of the voice.

So, for most...

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Chubby cream grubby against white ice
      Hungry somewhat clumsy polar bear heist
      Hopefully loping over...

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Degree Holder Rantings:
I want to put my passport size photo on my degree paper. So that people can be seeing that it's truly my degree!

In...

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Here some few jokes to crack your ribs:

I remember how my sister discovered her jogging talent, when she was chased by the fierce dogs, she...

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I recall the day, my ex sent me a breakup message,
and mum asked me what I was reading,
Then I told her" tips on how to...

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As we get older,
Our ability to demolish what is on our plate in short order,
Becomes a pleasure no longer,
And without teenagers around to even the...

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Ploughing 

I have been turning the soil over
on a field of nothingness, a furrow at the time
with an elderly mule that farts a lot.

The soil...

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Personified evil


I feel repulsed when he is near; I ought to have compassion 
for this cripple, his twisted foot and arm
a beggar with scabby skin...

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We've begun to beg terrorist nations to supply us with dependance.
When the world's largest deposits of independence are underfoot-
Farmers are paid not to produce food....

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If in doubt about what to do,
Start up yet another charity,
And ask donors to use their credit cards,
That should ease a conscience or two.

If in...

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Pre-Surgery

A green long-leaved plant on the table
she says doesn’t need water for the next fortnight.
Does the plant bear flower? 
No, she says it is supposed...

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Well now, isn’t that just dandy?!
Isn’t this some fun?!
Another Christmas cancelled. 
Another party undone.

I’m double vaxed and boosted.
Short on TP, but not of stress.
I stay...

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Don't expect an hors d'ouervre when you're out of work, mate!
Blame that on politics or blame it on your fate.
However much you mutter,
from now on...

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