for A Quirky ‘OCD’ Poetry Contest-Sponsored by: Suzette Richards
if I had a brain I would be driven, insane
the way they keep turning me, again and again
for I am poor Mr doorknob
and feel like a blobby blob
but fare better than the faucet and tap, Mr Wayne
I have to admit I’ve got a confession
About my unhealthy obsession
Other kids love pop stars with all their heart
For me it’s the Bristol Stool chart
There’s seven different types of poo
With pictures that give me a clue
to how long the poo’s been in my bowel
Poos that’s both fresh and some that’s foul
Each morning once I get out of bed
For breakfast I’ll have brown bread
The chart is a handy tool
To identify your type of stool
Now I’ve decided to tell
You about the different poos that smell
Cos it’s clear that the Bristol stool chart
Can also indicate your type of fart
Type 1 is as hard as a nut
And stays longest in the gut
Type 2 is a sausagy lump
That’s hard to squeeze out your rump
Then there’s types 3 and type 4
These are the poos I adore
These are the poos I prefer to make
A cracked sausage or smooth like a snake
Types 5 and 6 are easier to pass
Blobby or fluffy ones from your ass
Type 7 is the worst of all
It gushes like a waterfall
So now you’ve got all the scoop
On all the different types of poop
I love identifying my poo and type of fart
The Bristol Stool chart fills my heart
ghost busters
driving into libraries
funny guys
ghost blasters
called upon by the mayor
great friends
ghost seekers
scared by green blobby things
screamers
ghost detectives
contacted by the fearful
brave but silly
ghost hunters
living Halloween daily
lucky guys
My daughter has a lava lamp,
Once given as a gift,
A retro item that, when plugged,
Can give your mood a lift.
The lava lamp was such a fad
That we’d be shocked to know
That future generations
Would find cool that blobby glow.
Its groovy factor didn’t last
But it was guaranteed
To mesmerize a visitor
Who’d smoked a little weed.
Of course, the folks who buy it now
Most likely have no clue
That being in an altered state
Improves that lava view.
Blobby thing you came in from sea
Fading away here on the beach
Life once had swimming around
Ending in waves just out of reach
Looking for the formal definition, structure, and history of this poetry form? Visit the Poetry Dictionary entry below. Then return to explore how PoetrySoup members bring the form to life through their own poems.