Best Wrasse Poems
What have you done, for you look like a perch?
On Botox you should've done some research
I won't sugarcoat it
You look very bloated
Your face is engorged, and some will besmirch
Resembling a puffer with puckered lips
I wanna pop them with my fingertips
Dress yourself up in lace
Get rid of that fish face
Girl, you better get real and come to grips!
Your booty sticks out. You've such a huge butt
People laugh behind your back when you strut
They giggle and they wink
Some even say you stink
Like a three-day old catch of Halibut
Your teeth are threatening like a hungry shark
Who'd bite me like a mad dog with a bark
You're known as a stinker
Caught, hook, line and sinker
People point at you and call you a snark
You are as fishy as a speckled trout
So nice to people before it's found out
It's nothing but a show
Just a smoke screen you blow
A tasteless fish thrown back, without a doubt
You've earned the deserved name of big mouth bass
A loose lip fish without an ounce of class
Kicked out of many schools
Cause they didn't like fools
Shunned by all the Tropicals known as wrasse
You've been compared to the swimmer called 'carp'
A lesser species whose teeth are quite sharp
A catch that's not a prize
Most fishermen despise
No angel fish when it plays on a harp
Sometimes you resemble a red snapper
Belting out words like a winded rapper
Blah blah blah, on you jaw
Irksome as a jackdaw
You sound like the news anchor, Jake Tapper
When you swim in the pool, you're called a whale
Ya think that's due to the size of your tail?
In candy you indulge
It's the cause of your bulge
You might want to try a diet of kale
Somewhere down the road we pass
Under sun's heat, drops amass
Sweat and tears we blast
First kept then cast
Under the Moon's hex that was
Journey along the road we surpass
Under the bridge, jubilation of wrasse
Above our shoulders we carry the mass
Somewhere down the road we pass
Through the wide and crooked roads are crasse
Rubbles spewed by winds on stained glass
Up the road of heights is a watch glass
Down the road we seize grimes of brass
Then lie down on beds of hushed grass
Somewhere down the road we pass
Said a Cod to a wise old Eel,
I would like to know how you feel?
Though people snack on dips,
Lots more eat fish and chips.
They say it has great meal appeal!
Said the Eel to the wise old Cod,
I find that unusually odd.
I've never had to worry,
As so many eat curry.
Very few are after my bod!
Just then a worldly old Squid,
Doing what Squids always did.
Went swimming slowly on by.
Said he "Me, they'll never fry"
"They'll only eat me jellied!"
Next came a Lobster and Blue Crab.
Followed by a Flounder and Dab.
They agreed with the old Cod,
A fish with a succulent 'bod'
Always ends up on a slab!
Then a Shrimp, Whelk and a Mussel.
All went by in a hustle.
Then the Winkle with the Clam,
Who said "I'd better scram!"
"Cos I give chowder its muscle!
Following next came the Herring,
In a disguise he was wearing.
For he was truly afraid,
That the batter being made,
Was for him. His instinct unerring!
Then both a large and small-mouthed Bass,
And a lone, solitary Wrasse.
Not to forget the Scallop,
Going by at a gallop.
All getting away en masse!
Next Mackerel, Haddock and Plaice.
Not one with a smile on its face.
The handsome Halibut too,
Was looking glum and blue,
Which went as well for the Dace!
Now to all fish its crystal clear.
Most of them have plenty to fear.
Be they skinned, fried and eaten
With bread - White, Brown or Wheaten,
Or soaked and battered in beer!
Rhymer. December 6th, 2016.
Trump's newly-appointed EPA Chief
Found himself buried in EPA grief
To prove he was no party-pooper
He likened Trump to a Giant Grouper
Swimming against an almighty current
Where even the sharks were no deterrent
"Forget the 'U' and immigrant no-hoper!
I'll rename that fish, "The Slippery Groper"!
Well, Congress agreed to just let it pass
That's God's honest truth, you bet your wrasse!
It's not so much I mourn the days that have but so sweetly passed
It's not so much I dare to speak of love that was so vast
It's not so much I yearn to see your smile just once again
But yet I ache to feel your strength, your touch, against my hand
So what then is left
You have taken all
What is there left to grieve
And so I state with no remorse, with no regret at last
Death has cast its fatal blow
Death, you can kiss my wrasse