Best Whacking Poems


Premium Member Alliteration For Poets

Alliteration always awesome
Ballad beyond barnyard basics
Crystalline calls careful consonants,

Diamante delivers deeply
Enthusiasm excites eager ears,
Fanciful frolicking faerie

Generously gives grateful glee
Hyping haiku to heavenly heights,
Imagery and imagination

Jubilantly jumping joyfully,
Kimo kindles king-sized kingpin,
Lamenting the lily-livered lunacy

Momentous muse modulates melody,
Necromancer normalizes Neverland,
Opulent Opalescent orchestras opt

To pollute poetry previously pristine.
Quixotic quorum of questioners
Respond and recover rhymes rapidly

Serendipitous sentimentality
Turns timely tanka traitorously toward
Unmistakably understated Uranus,
Vindicating verses vilifying Vashti.

Whacking wannish warblers west,
‘Xaggerating ‘Xtemperaneous X’tra special poems
Yet yielding a yeomanly yearning toward
A zealous zany zingaroo of zest.
Categories: whacking, 10th grade, 11th grade,
Form: Alliteration

Lolly

Obviously, I am kissed 
Once more by destiny 
When clock touching
The summer moonlight night
Without pain
And, flatten the thought 
By the buzzing bug
With a fiery lips, awaking 
My lonesome blood 
Into whacking as I fell 
Into her breath
With its natural scent 
Like Venus, the god
Wrapped my lonely body 
By sweet loving hand 
That I felt like 
Lolly candy
Wanting… 
To be licked 
By you, again and again
Categories: whacking, husband, imagination, love, people,
Form: Free verse

Salvation In Rivers of Babylon

In the grip of Rivers of Babylon
Arise to consolidate your fight for faith
And God pain and strain from your comfort zone
Will slay to renew and reinvigorate the breath

Essential to make a way
To the salvation you deserve
As on bended knees you pray everyday
Your God in due season you serve

Reminding the Devil is a liar
Whose maneuvers to lead you astray
Can no longer soar higher
When into your life returns the ray

God shines brighter and brighter
Clearing dark clouds
That for an instant held you tighter
Enveloping you in doubt shrouds

You fight better and better
As faith grows stronger
To break away the sin and temptation fetter
The Devil squeezed a little longer

When you prevaricated
Granting him room to ensnare you
As your faith vacillated
Until your faith resolve in Babylon grew anew

To consolidate your path to salvation
Whacking the Devil
Into submission
Alongside his bags and tags teeming with evil.
Categories: whacking, poems,
Form: Free verse

Book: Radiant Verses: A Journey Through Inspiring Poetry


Polish It Behind the Door

My big sisters were being kind to me
It was not like them to be so nice 
Big sisters fall from an evil tree
and I'm sure mine fell out twice . 

Yet here they were being lovely 
Inviting me to play 
To be in their gang I must have a password
and here's what I had to say .

Polish it behind the door 
But I must say it very fast 
Say it once then two times more
That was the test I had to pass.

I was so delighted to be sharing 
I said their silly password 
Then I heard ''Mother'' our Darren is swearing
He just said a naughty word .

Mum came in with her slipper 
Whacking me on my bum 
It hurt even more when I saw my sisters titter
They were having so much fun .

Why did they tell such evil lies 
I'm not playing with them anymore 
but there were tears of laughter in my eyes
When they told me what ''Polly'' did behind the door.
Categories: whacking, funny,
Form: Verse

Premium Member The Hand, a Mechanical Genius

To God I am thankful for many gifts;
But none more than a creative mind,
And the hands which are the finest tool,
With abilities to create that I easily can find.

As a child I first learned to cherish
My God-given opposable thumb,
Knowing how versatile a device
It is for whacking a fortuitous homerun.

And stubby fingers were early to meet,
And with artistic freedom employ,
All the many vividly colored crayons
To make graphic forms and scenes to enjoy.

And off running into the world of nature,
My hands kept quite busy in work and play.
Without them I found that I couldn’t climb
Nor protect myself in the occasional fray.

My hands loved to tighten and repair my bike,
Seeming to be a mechanic of special training,
Taught by a higher intelligence unknown
For handling every task without complaining.

With maturity the hand becomes more adept,
A magical marvel for all creation to behold.
And in God’s world of many forms to grasp,
It becomes an unique gift worth more than gold.

Then you find there’s nothing your hands can’t do,
‘Cause God has made them in His special way,
With the same loving care you make toys for a child,
Who might find nothing any better for hours of play.

We need to show God that we feel very blessed,
That He was the architect of this precious treasure;
So that we may join with Him in majestic fashion,
Giving the world with fervent impact endless pleasure.
Categories: whacking, inspirational, on work and
Form: Rhyme

Premium Member Death of a Stapler

Your metal head has a mind of its own
When laptop chase rushes to meet deadline,
Pointed teeth decide to clump together
Jamming the bar with those sharp incisors;
My bones whacking the ledge, in high-scale of rage. 

Braces still grip in clusters .... don’t have time
Loosening that clipped mouth, I must dare
Slam the base with a hammer without warning,
Yet you retaliate by cutting my neat thumb: 
I'll wreck you in the hazardous bin, darn stapler!



It's time for hilarious poetries 
Contest of Jamie Pan
Categories: whacking, confusion, crazy,
Form: Free verse


Woodpecker Tap-Tapping

There was a woodpecker whacking,
Continuous sound nerve-racking.
Distressed in the mind,
Making my teeth grind,
Tap-tapping will send me packing.

Standing outside, I clapped my hands,
Sending him off to no-man's land.
But no, he just sat,
And started to tap.
His tapping, how will I withstand?



For Poet Destroyer's contest, 'Silly (Funny)'
Categories: whacking, bird, humor,
Form: Limerick

Premium Member The Corner

Twelve rounds of excitement
Two rivals smiling in the middle of enchantment

The bell rang...
Both fighters were wild
Two rough hands still mild
The bell rang again -- end of first round.

Second round...
Gaiting horses, eluding kicks and punches
Baiting bodies, protruding hunches

Third round...
Fighters in merry-go-round
Hide and seek on square ground

Fourth round...
Faces smearing, eyes rolling
Bodies perspiring, allies chanting

Fifth round...
Feet hovering, foot work disintegrated
Temperature rising, hard punches connected

Sixth round...
Audience clapping; boxers hitting
Attacks jabbing, gloves slugging

Seventh round...
Whacking arm follows, gloves batting
Ulnar bone gallows, heads swatting

Eighth round...
The champ fighter grinning, nailing one hard scour
Second fighter fainting, flailing above the litted floor

Ninth round...
Stronger fighter grinning again with right hook
Left hook thrashing, down the second fighter of blind look

Tenth round...
Challenger flogging, kept on rising
Challenger pelting, the champ fell on floor gasping

Eleventh round...
Both warriors pummeling, whipping, jostling
Switching, clubbing, lashing, drubbing
Both fighters fell on adulated white floor
Before the ninth count both warriors stood tall 
  on wrestled floor

Twelfth round...
Last two minutes of peppering round
Both fighters staggering until the challenger dropped first and gaunts.
Champ still standing, waiting for the ten counts...

Last twenty five seconds of the final round,
First fallen fighter with a bigger heart stands
Champ dropped on his knees --
Laid flat on aproned, famed canvass
Ten counts numbered as confetti lands...

The winner and challenger standing in the corner, beaten and bruised
Bleeding profusely after winning a dream never cruised.
Categories: whacking, boxing day , courage,
Form: Narrative

I'M Just a Little Spider

I'm just a little spider
And I really am quite shy
So why is it when you see me
You shout, scream and cry.

I do not mean to frighten you
So I come out late at night
And if you are quite nervous
Don't turn off the light.

I could be hiding in your cupboard
Or underneath your chair
And if you need the loo at night
Remember I could be there.

Why is it when you see me
You start whacking me with your shoe
I'm only a little spider
What have I done to you.

Before you go to sleep tonight
Just remember what I said
Spiders can hide anywhere
You better check your bed.
Categories: whacking, humor,
Form: Rhyme

Premium Member Bus Stop Bust Up

Raining cats and dogs, we didn’t want to get wet through
We dashed to the bus stop, to shelter as you do

There we huddled under the shelter as a cosy retreat
But a storm was brewing right under our feet

A lady held her umbrella up to protect her head
It was dry under the shelter but still she went ahead

She was twirling it round and poked a man in the eye
He wasn’t going to let this selfish action pass him by

He asked her very nicely to put the umbrella down
She got VERY irate and started to shout and frown

Soon expletives were flying- we moved out of the way
She cursed in Italian, we could understand what she did say

Umbrellas started flying- it turned into quite a fight
They were whacking each other with all their might

Suddenly a huge wave broke from the sea shore
We jumped out of the way to avoid any more

But the fight it continued and spilled on to the street
The words that were flying I could never repeat!

It was such a spectacle, everyone was staring
The foul mouth woman retreated but continued swearing

All she needed to have done was put her umbrella down
Sadly in reality she became the talk of the town.

A true event which happened on 1st November

2nd November 2015
Categories: whacking, anger, rain, violence,
Form: Couplet

Premium Member Icky, Yucky, Sucky

ICKY, SUCKY, YUCKY
???????????????

 wheezing, sneezing; allergy in my throat
darn green mucus pasted in my hair,
steroids tumbling down on  chest
and  “no- bath -for -days”  anywhere!

mites and dust in  rinsed fingernails
fever flushing  through these  dead toes,
and whacking sinus  drips much yuckier
floating from my  from dry , red nose!

emergency rooms now daily visits for me
oxygen masks, x-rays and tests for  clean piss ,
yipers, my new honey's  coming  around to check 
this surely sucks, don’t wanna be kissed!!




:
Categories: whacking, funny, health,
Form: Rhyme

Valentine Limerick

Here comes the day again,

to me all these seems insane.

Why just one day for love?

why can't love forever remain?

Oh let it be no use whacking my own brain.
Categories: whacking, loveday,
Form: Limerick

Premium Member "listing Hard Knock Blessings"

(Internal Rhyme)

Dreary was upon the time, as wearily I lived from my mind,

Sad when I was a lad, was mad contrary to current fad!

These are reflections of no relief, as all rejections kick at teeth,

Lad became a teenager, sad though taking many wrong wagers.

Blessings seemed to be curses, distressing with no bible verses,

Lacking tenderness nursing, whacking naught of love’s conversing.

Stealing  all of that the hand laid on, sealing a fate from God’s great throne,

As I was alive I did learn, deprived of love… it I spurned.

Despised first half of my life, I was disguised chaffer in strife,

In this school of very hard knocks,  this ghoul brushed many chips off blocks.

This my school of mind intentions, makes ghouls of mind inventions,

My school confessing hard knocks, confirms fool’s blessings of past clocks.

My school of this blessed account, I pool fully an assessed amount,

The worth of which I confess, a rebirth of which I have love's rest, 

Being turned of Christ this precious fool, turned from spurned bodacious drool.

These blessings I do not discount, the assessing of it’s amount,

Hard knocks are my blessings, every confessing as my love docks.

Concepts embody many a fool, as precept emerges from drools,

Learning to be wise as serpent, churning of love upon advent,

Having learned the art of love, craving to learn all the above,

By school of these very hard knocks, this fool by love safely docks!

Finished precept advice I give, as replenished  of love I live,

Mothers that nurse precious babe, covers with love bodacious Gabe,

Tender and loving nursing, render blessings and not cursing.

From a babe laid in the shade, an honest Abe seldom is made,

Though I seek not any glory, as I peak within life's story,

Tough wisdom as been mother, precept’s buff of love like no other,

I could never hard knock mother, nor would I change her for another!
Categories: whacking, introspectionschool, love, school,
Form: List

Black Paws Pirate Ship

An Ancient crazy Ox, 
Once had a whacking job,
Breaking on the dance floor,
One too many holes to show!
 
A sleepy grizzly bear on four,
Drinking ale with a drunkard 
boar,
On board a rocking Boat with 
one oar,
Singing 'bottles of rum' from 
Jamaica to Singapore!
 
Mind me manners toward 
Capitano Lady Fox,
Upon the infamous pirate 
ship at Bencoolen's seaport,
Gives me dreaded shivers me 
back as she reckons me 
ransom...
Or walk the plank on her 
fancy at devil's watch! 
Her bastard crews scattered 
around the  world by 
misadventure,
Come crawling back surely 
from as far as America to 
India, Oxes,Bears,Otters,Boars 
and nasty Mr.one-eyed 
badger! 
Assign her coloured flags of 
the Dark Paws! 
Get ready to sail and soar on 
open seawater.
'ALL PAWS ON DECK !' yell the 
first mate Mr.Badger at the 
aft, 
Scurry me *****es of a 
pirate's whore or there'll be 
no sunshine on your arses! 
And glide she did towards 
Shanghai's blossom ... 
 
And on her voyage she pick 
up the grizzly bear and 
drunkard boar,
With a slashing whip on 
those Scumbags with her 
foxy's paw she gave in to her 
pleasure! 
 
Beware merchants and sea 
travellers be on your guard,
The sinister Black Paws is 
coming your way...
And by the hairy ass of 
Bloody 
Mary have mercy on you,
When she prey upon your 
vessels on golden horizon 
ablaze !!
Ahoy there and shiver me 
timbers this take becomes 
hotter,
 
A tale of battles with pirates 
and the western kingdom..... 

############################
Nancy Jones
New Contest
Categories: whacking, humorous
Form:

A Viking, Thanksgiving, Unwanted Guests

He raises his charmed-horn frost-cup                                                                               filled to the brim with warrior-sweat of a thousands fallen wineberry                                        Hail to the spoils and plunder                                                                                                                                         Hail to burning friends and Thor’s thunder                                                                                      To ravens who gather the ones in wonder                                                                         Eric’s the reds white-headed swan of blood and blood-bearded-gobbler                                     may one give us free in all are Things                                                                                         and in our bowls meats of thanks-giving                                                                                                   Carving the turkey with his sharp-rail-of beheading                                                                                whacking a leg and then the other                                                                                                                                              small talk and etiquette flew out the proverbial minds-eye                                                   But uncle Bob fit right in chasing his wine with gin
© John Beam  Create an image from this poem.
Categories: whacking, adventure, america, bird, happy,
Form: Free verse
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Book: Radiant Verses: A Journey Through Inspiring Poetry

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