Best Voiding Poems
She's Wet VII Continued
When she gives a cough or a sneeze
Some wee trickles down past her knees
Her knickers are damp
She smells like a tramp
Dashing home so nobody sees
Written by Jan
Inspired by Arthur
Continued by Mystic Rose
She does a little peepee in the bowl
Voiding her bladder is her only goal
Then out comes a fart
Fresh and a la carte
Followed by a turd down the hole!
Continued by Sey
A sigh of relief she wipes her red rear
as the monstrous turd starts to disappear
much to her surprise
it has too much size
and shoots out and hits her left ear
Continued by Steve
Dear lady of the house please don't send me to hell
I know it would get rid of that awful smell
But I have an idea for some fantastic cons
I will be a banker in stocks and bonds
And should I fail and the flush you administer
I will pop out downstream and become a Prime Minister
Continued by Nonsense Alley
Get antibacterial Wet -Ones!
Use plenty for cleaning those soiled buns
Got turd in the ear?
Please! Have little fear.
Buy Wet-Ones for poop- ear ala runs.
Continued by Kimberly
Good gracious this lim'ricks a foul one!
With peepee, a fart and a brown one
Now all has been voided
Smell can't be avoided
So snap on that clothes pin for more fun!
Continued by Eve
Oh! Dear! I guess I am going to have to get some
Depends custom
made,this is just happening too often
and I’m losing too many of my good chosen
underwear in the garbage can at Wal-mart and spending a fortune
Categories:
voiding, fun, funny,
Form:
Limerick
No Toilet Paper
My mind is boggled.
What is with the Coronavirus mania?
Why is everyone going freaking nuts over this?
From what this writer understands,
It is much like the regular flu,
Which is killing thousands as we speak, and
Hospitalizing even more. And this has been going on,
As long as I have been alive since 1952.
But this particular microbe is novel, and
Since little is known about it apparently,
People are afraid they will “get it.”
So off to Costco they all go, and
Buy as much toilet paper they are all permitted to buy,
Take it home, store or hide it with the other family treasures,
And then realize, inexplicably, that now
They are all magically immune to “getting it.”
Is that what these crazed souls are thinking?
I can think of a fate worse than “getting it.”
Worse than sports games being cancelled;
Worse than concerts and plays going on indefinite hiatus;
Worse than school classes and Sunday services finding the exit door, for now;
Worse than millions of vacations being cancelled, and
Entire industries being brought to their knees;
Worse than the world economy taking a complete nosedive
Into depression and financial paralysis;
Worse than millions of human beings dying
Horrible, agonizing deaths due to this little microbe.
No, I can think of something even worse.
Imagine going to Steak Corral - All You Can Eat,
One night soon, and you wanted your money’s worth.
So you load up your plate with:
Whiskey-laced, barbecued baked beans and garlic bread;
Two breadcrumb-laced quarter pound char-burgers,
Each smothered in a half dozen beer-breaded onion rings,
With ranch dressing dripping over them like lava.
Then you go get some more beans on french fries with
Big raw garlic chunks nestled in them, and then,
You wash it all down with three beers.
Imagine the next morning.
Imagine the horror, the horror,
Of voiding all that Steak Corral stuff, and then
Having the absolute worst possible thing
Happen to you in today’s crisis times.
No toilet paper.
Categories:
voiding, america, angst, anxiety, fear,
Form:
Free verse
Crimson, cerise, scarlet, and vermilion leaves
die as Summer grieves.
Without pity, brisk breezes denude the trees,
voiding guarantees.
Nature savors the essence of Fall's decay;
a mushroom gourmet.
Mother Earth prepares to spin Winter’s death shroud,
no tears are allowed.
Crimson, cerise, scarlet, and vermilion leaves
disappear like thieves,
and Autumn aggrieves.
Categories:
voiding, 10th grade, autumn, beautiful,
Form:
Rhyme
Traveling through the jaded discourse
With bartered pen and little remorse
Brandishing sharpened scalpel; tour de force
Unabashedly seeking all texts from lexicon to divorce
Developing underlying themes to alter the broader context
Freely abridging each verse to establish the pretext
Isolating each stanza to create a subtext
Inferring connotations to establish a hypertext
Disassociating words to broker more inflection
Delinking phrases building new bridges for reflection
Deconstructing patterns to sculpt out a new direction
Decoding mores and values to foster introspection
Voiding punctuation; compressing verses to scuttle metric time
Extrapolating dominant motifs to devalue the inculcating paradigm
Decoupling dissonant accents to deflower the sublime
Erasing phonetic schemes; disbanding symetrical order; decelerating rhyme
Categories:
voiding, on writing and words
Form:
Rhyme
I’m stealing through a twilit realm, the ancient pale of Whereis,
passing chambers of an Heiress
(though no need to feel embarrassed)
through a magic mystic mirror hanging curtainless.
A glimpse near naked alleyways (denuded by the moon) ex-
poses Ghosts in gauzy tunics
carving symbols, round and runic,
in distended dingy dungeons of uncertainness.
Down misty streets of cobblestone – ancestral avenues –
patchwork paths consume my shoes
(chasing foggy curlicues
twisting, twirling by in twos,
floating anywhere they choose),
leaving footprints that confuse
vagrant wispy retinues
of the threaded wooden sticks that stalk a Puppet wandering.
Condensed in drops of fantasy, distilled in evening dew,
shifting Shadows I pursue
(wearing faces I once knew,
slipping slowly from my view)
turn their backs to bid adieu
leaving stars to tempt me through
Awful Tower residues
mocking treasures time outgrew
in the birth of old from new
framing pageants in review
midst the visions of the painted past I can’t help pondering.
Contorted candelabra claw the skyline’s walled suspension
caught in twilight’s intervention
– still unlit (in stark dissension),
therefore seething with a tension
in the quiet apprehension
of the Watchman’s inattention
to the night-time’s bold pretension
to her power, not to mention,
to her hyperspace extension
(far beyond my comprehension
of the sundown’s bleak dimension) –
on exhausted beaten boulevards of foolish fretfulness.
Oblivion depletes me, voiding haste and hurried hassles,
me, a simple abject vassal,
trailing moonlit floating castles,
– fickle feet, but fingers facile
grasping straws and pendant tassels –
as I stumble through the rubble of forgetfulness.
I think I must be dreaming as I seem to see these things,
neath a sky alive with wings
(hear the Nightingale, she sings),
midst the whispered murmurings
soughed by Phantoms clad as Kings
pacing palaces in rings,
while their hapless footfall clings
to the sagging sinking sands of midnight’s splintered splattered ruins.
Entangled in the swirling leaves that spin in dizzy flurries,
(while the wind beside me scurries
as an ermined hermit hurries)
lurk my sleepy woes and worries
(glowing faint’ but growing blurry)
which, when plundered by the demon dusk, I’d left behind me strewn.
Continued in Part 2
Categories:
voiding, fantasy, me,
Form:
Rhyme
Soundscape Strata
Did Bach know to what end
his harvest of melodies-in-parallel would become?
Scholars agonize
Was creation of counterpoint
musical destiny
a hybrid fruit of beauty
knowing no boundary
bewildering those of first look
given musical staffs
voicings and manuscripts
always conformed to traditional confinement?
What spurred his palette of sound
to become one with the elusive rainbow
providing independence through marriage of numbers
allowing prolonged courtship
sanctioning destinies to verge
converge
separate
return to coalesce?
And so
From guitar
to clavichord
string quartets
to symphonies
counterpart airs were discovered
became melodious architecture
challenging new musical frontiers
voiding tundra's boundary rules
reducing history's brass survey monuments
to mere reflections of past memory
Popularization of Bach's invention
soared beyond the artistic elite
for in '55 "Picnic" graced movie screens
initiating the unsuspecting
elevating emotion with layered melodies
Moonglow playing under the love theme
Bach's kaleidascope of synchronous colors
reached the century's romantics
keyed into a music major
minored ala Brubeck
scat-a-tized via Ella and Mel
and
made unity of opposites a given
Thus
From Bach's synthesis of two dimensions
musical ironies evolved
influencing writers' language
line upon line
stanza to stanza
chapter to chapter
making magical
the double entendre
metaphor
subtext
contrapuntal imaginings
all translated into
infinite language-in-progress
With applause knowing nowhere to go
except to acknowledge the roots of prodigy
a high five to the man
who pioneered so much of our soundscape
taught us all the numbers of romance
ironically created attraction to opposites
arpeggios with many colors
intimacy amidst chaos
Encore Mr. Bach
Encore
Categories:
voiding, music,
Form:
Free verse
P reparing for work, my uniform blue.
A ligning heart and mind to things ahead.
R eworking puzzles, things that I can do.
A voiding mistakes, fending off the dead.
M any times past, I've knocked at heavens door,
E ntrusting souls that no longer held life.
D istressed and hurting, could I have done more?
I nsisting industry, sadness so rife.
C an one become numb, this job alignment?
S ealing heart against permanent damage?
R ather tools gifted for this assignment,
O n management of ravage from vantage.
L etting mind roam free while getting ready.
E ven mind is kept, and hands are steady.
-Angel Fatale-
-acrostic sonnet-
Categories:
voiding, courage, hero, jobs, leadership,
Form:
Sonnet
Cumuli
October 24, 2013 at 12:56pm
The contents of my head empty into my stomach
Where nonsense meets yesterday’s frozen Styrofoam spinach cheese pesto ravioli dinner
And a mix of fake pepperoni pizza from lunch
Chocolate topped pink and yellow striped butterscotch and vanilla flavored jelly beans
In plasticized wrappers
And fluorescent day-glow blue caffeinated high fructose sugar beverages
In clear polyethylene terephthalate containers
Pretty and poisonous pollutants ingested and partially digested
We are what we eat and what we throw away
And either way it all sinks to the lowest of places
I had a lofty idea once and spelled out the word, “c u m u l u s”, in my alphabet soup
“Cumuli” means, “heap”, or “pile”, in Latin
Root for the word, “accumulate”
This from a culture that also gives us the word, “vomitorium”, which I think appropriate
So I then gulped down the cloud word of canned hydrogenated processed letters
And chemically enhanced perfectly machine squared orange and green vegetables
Submerged in a reddish brown sodium infused steaming bath
I imagine my bowels are a colorful syrupy serpentine garbage train
Of half eaten scrambled letters, eggs, saturated fats and other gastronomical delights
Where some is vice versa absorbed
To eventually feed my mind again with an endless supply of junk food sludge debris
As the remainder rumbles off in an overlapping “S” shaped extrusion
And or a foregone voluminous towering land fill conclusion
Sometimes it’s all about voiding one hole and filling another
Categories:
voiding, imagery,
Form:
Free verse
Virtuous excavation…
validating steadfast faith*
voiding wavering trust and hope…
vested for life-building endeavour
verily provides venue for transformation
victorious removal of sin boulders with God’s grace…
visible divine** behavioral progress paved by the Lord
voicing out trust in Christ midst vilifying vanity-vexation
valiant against pride’s visitation for vision-led revival voyage
vigilant to survey heavenly truth toward valuable eternal settlement.
*Hebrews 12:2 Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.
July 5, 2021
4th place, "This or That, Vol 4: An Excavation" Poetry Writing Contest
Sponsored by Edward Ibeh; judged on 7/27/2021.
**Title was changed after contest was judged.
Categories:
voiding, blessing, christian, courage, faith,
Form:
Alliteration
T alk to your children about life’s mystery
H elp them to understand
E xplain it in terms that they relate to; don’t make it confusing or bland
B iology shouldn’t be scary or embarrassing
I t’s simply a fact of life
R efusing to address it when our children are young
D evelops a lesson learned later with strife
S ex shouldn’t be a topic taken too light
A voiding the discussion only adds to the sense
N atural emotions and feelings are wrong
D on’t let your children learn it from others; be open, forthcoming and strong
T each them about the birds and the bees
H earing it from you will help build trust
E ventually they will feel comfortable talking and sharing about their own feelings to us
B abies being made is a beautiful thing
E veryone needs to learn – it’s a must
E ven if it’s a topic we need help discussing
S how your kids you are someone to trust
Categories:
voiding, education, naturechildren, children, feelings,
Form:
Acrostic
Stimulating her Emperor's savage
Aquisece defers demand of regal constraint
Furtive festivities provide passage
Into fecund gracing gait Autocracy ordained
Retreat from mastering insatiable masses
His thought voiding thaumaturge
Covers strident intellectual with molasses
Cater of paramour calms nerves
Unwound by compassionate exorbitance
Momentarily vulnerable assailant
Commits their heirs eventual inheritance
Renewed seasons abide nascent
Provisional Yazmin is his cleansing ocean
Advances invigorating strategy
Frequent fruitful visits denote her chosen
Monarchical surrender, sanctity
5th December
- Fertility -
(wily winding vines climbing collate grapes)
Categories:
voiding, africa, beautiful, first love,
Form:
Rhyme
It is good to know what we resist,
but my best way of knowing
is by self and other showing
what we together
would more health wealthily
assist.
You might assume
the only way to effectively resist patriarchalism
is to fight.
Turns out,
fighting may be the surest way
to already have lost the battle,
and to continue losing
an ecofeminist war.
You might think the only possible way to win
is if all other players lose,
but what, then,
have we the OnePercent gained
toward healthy resilience
and safe peace on Earth?
You might assume the only way to gain power
is to compete
with surpassing strength
for economic and political victory.
I might guess another way to empower
is to cooperate
for healthier
sustainable flow-with
empowering enlightenment
more resonant in compassionate relationships
than suspiciously lacking robust
interdependent
communication networks.
As for patriarchalism,
probably far more erectile dysfunction
is the result of intentional economic neglect
than vindictive political abuse
and threats of war-mongering.
Experiential peace and beauty
and truth and trust messages
trying to break through LeftHemispheres
fascinated,
sometimes mystified,
by enigmatic
elliptical
sacred words,
scriptures,
messages
deep pre-historic passion feelings
Preferring win/win climate health Paradise
over win/lose ego/ecologically pathological risks,
chronically dissonant cognitive minds
at war with affective body issue
nerve tissues
bipolar stressed
As processed by Either/Or LeftHemisphere
dominantly StraightWhite monocultural
patriarchal not-listening
jumping to deduction
reductions
not able to hear inductive WholeEarth
interdependent EarthMother ReCreation,
over the sound and constant lights
of fossil-fueled degenerating
militantly industrialized
colonizing
bad karma energy
Instead,
our co-investments
in cooperative wealth systems
restore multicultural EarthJustice
AND
restory Earth's green peace
ecofeminist narrative
In which
we too often assume
the only way to effectively resist patriarchalism
is to fight.
Categories:
voiding, health, humor, integrity, peace,
Form:
Political Verse
Shattering roses
In the sea mercilessly,
Voiding our hearts
And thoughts of emotion transfixing
Apathy and lacking empathy of me,
Or of we disintegrating into the sands of a perplexed
Individuality
Such is the fate of, I
The individuality
Categories:
voiding, life,
Form:
Dramatic Verse
Since down the ages I was searching
But never got a glimpse of you my guide
Training and education and so called schooling
All were useless in the life I find
The life passes by just within a while
In pondering and waiting for the right timing
With lot of pressure, stress and tension
Fear of reaching high, ahead and lagging behind
Without really putting your heart in
Just doing work of some kind
With lot of irritation and great voiding
The same mundane task like a grind
Good morning, noon and evening
All smilies, exclaimations, anger and crying
Wihout reflecting a real meaning
Airing via e-media without heart and mind
Searching and walking all alone with suffering
Is there really anyone or just me or nothing?
Please help to comprehend and find
To me who am really deaf, dumb and blind
From whom I can seek advice to be a great being
With whose love and affection will know everything
Let me find you for all the knowledge showering
You, as a God’s blessing in my life, my Great Guide
Now I can hear you and all of your whispering
The words which comes as a great instinct
Which help me to go with the right wind
Guide me along with the entire mankind
Categories:
voiding, teacher,
Form:
Rhyme
winners
surefire, lucky
honoring, crowning, notifying
achievers, success, non-starter, failures
compensating, voiding" lowballing
hopeless, disgruntled
losers
Date written: 12/27/2022
Categories:
voiding, creation, poetry, words,
Form:
Diamante