Best Vaseline Poems

Soon will be time to pay income tax
They don’t care if you E or send fax
The result is the same
You pay up ‘til you claim
You’re...

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Original limerick  written by Jan Allison


A petite ballerina named Tina
Seemed serene but she couldn’t be meaner
When she got in the sack 
She was on...

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Her name was Ethel....(yes, like the gasoline)
She smelled of menthol...(much like Vick's Vaseline)
A long time neighbor, from down the lane
She was married twice...(or was it...

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I'm allergic to sugar which helps me keep slim
If I eat too much, congestion makes me grim

Never bought lipstick, my lips are naturally dark red
People...

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can you imagine my disappointment...I believed her
...she might of been the one...that one woman 
that has eluded me my whole lifetime...but...
...she...she was...

she was just blowing smoke...

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In my skin,
I'm proud and free!
This beautiful dark skin
I was born with
And live in
Fills my soul to the brim
With unadulterated pride; 
Notwithstanding
A few scars 
and...

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elbow to elbow no room to breathe
in this place i once thought an escape
missing her more each day
and each passing moment
brown children with vaseline
greased scalps...

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Bad bosses wear the same clothes every day
Some of them are called Bob or Bill or Kathy
They smell funny and cry for mommy
Never shake hands...

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the serene people whose ease of manner
once made him yearn and confabulate
are laughable cartoonish and piteous now
could have been much worse he said
as his last...

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"Phenomonology"

time drips through
the lens of philosophy 
phenomonology melts
the solid realisation;
was all that time 
spent inconsequential, 
the purpose of it all
bought abruptly, 
for an expected cost
(for...

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6 a.m

It is time to wake- 
After being bludgeoned by sleep.
A quick brush 
And a quick wash
Off to the bus-stop in a quick rush.

It’s another...

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President's Day is approaching so I thought I would further your education,
By revealing useless trivia about some of the dudes who've served our nation.

President Washington...

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The alarm clock sang out, my dad jumps up 
rushes me into the kitchen, today my love 
is indeed, a very special day for you,...

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Our naughty crafts in sex workshop
are all placed under a constant rewind.
Your accurate curves and warm planes
covered in moisture like a soul’s Vaseline
is an awesome...

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It is so hard to let go of love,
lovingly.

It sharks, 
unpeels more gut more quickly
than reel or reeler ever lost
in all those years of lazy...

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