Best Tenner Poems

Let me tell you the story of Miss Jenny Prime,
who spent all of her days making everything rhyme.
It was thought she’d outgrow this strange childhood spell,
but her fetish just grew and made her parents’ life hell.

When Miss Prime was a baby, still sporting a bib,
each...

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The music video is more or less a continuation to the poem. So please play it when cued in the poem text and continue enjoying the music and lyrics. 

Another bar unceremoniously has ‘asked’ him to leave
His limits he knows - to stupefy with liquor...

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The reason why I gamble,
I ought to tell the truth.
Those squalid tales I spun before…
Well, don’t go seeking proof.

The one about the heart op
And my desperate plight for cash -
A pack of lies, I’m fit and well
(Except a little rash).

And then there was the other...

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Disheveled and dirty she sat 
A guy walking by just spat 
It caught her off guard as she wiped it away 
Wanted to move but decided to stay

She looked forlorn and beat 
Begging for a bite to eat 
I approached and offered her a tenner
Her...

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Winning the Lottery

Yes, I dream of winning the Lottery,
Hitting the jackpot on a Saturday night.
Oh, it’s so wonderful to imagine,
So, I cross my fingers and hold them tight.

Our George bemoans his bad luck,
All these years, not even a Tenner.
He told me that a couple from...

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v





THE DAY WE WENT TO HUCKNALL


The day we went to Hucknall, didn’t we have a lovely time.
So much so, I thought I would turn it into a rhyme.
The two of us.
On the bus.
Then on the tram
Then through the rain we ran.
To get our lunch at...

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v





THE DAY WE WENT TO HUCKNALL


The day we went to Hucknall, didn’t we have a lovely time.
So much so, I thought I would turn it into a rhyme.
The two of us.
On the bus.
Then on the tram
Then through the rain we ran.
To get our lunch at...

Continue reading...

I was in a bookshop the other week 
(I’m a bit of a second-hand bookshop freak.)
In the crafts and hobbies section I spied
an interesting Home-Made Presents Guide.
Now, I’m not tight-fisted but where’s the sense
in spending pounds if you can make for pence.

So I made the...

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Edith had been suffering from shoulder pain
She'd developed a stoop and only her left shoulder would sag
When she went to see her doctor
He put all the blame on her weighty handbag

One afternoon she had time to spare
So she decided to empty it out
Anything that wasn’t...

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Breeders' Cannon Ball plays for days and decades even onto eras
Feeders on the bottom plus top down voodoo economics, no trickle
De-weeders? Why? Lawns are hype realistic so fake AF and anti-kith
Xeroscape like rape by statute not as consent is all we had and glad
as if...

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Staring in disbelief
Heart thumping
Pulse racing
Trying to speak
But unable to make a sound
Wondering if I am dreaming
It cannot be reality…
…Surely
Why me?
Why not me?
 No, there must be some mistake
I recall my past
Happiness and heartbreak
Life will never be the same again
I find my voice and shout:
‘YES!’

*I got...

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From the eyes of Shangri-la and words indited in bulletin
spoken by  bellwethers and imagery on broadcasts
Felt the passing of breaths and federation menace.

The scourge abided by cause of hooliganism
By a group of libertine, 
Held, ye plot to an affright baker’s dozen bams.
He who fended...

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As a dad of three I’ve got your measure
We love you protect you give us lots of pleasure
But……mums and dads aren’t as daft as you think we are
Dads give us a fiver and ill wash your car
Mum….can I take a couple of pounds out of...

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Petes Story

Pete was 27 when his life changed forever
An honest man he lived life with endeavour
At 18 working as an apprentice and carving a life
At 21 he'd bought his own house got married had a child and wife

Holidays abroad twice a year a good husband...

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Don’t come trick or treating down here
We spent all our money on beer
Don’t knock at our door
‘Cos we’re scary and poor
Lend us a tenner for gear

by Gail...

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