Best Telemarketers Poems

You’re loathsome in your pertinacious ways.
Your courtesy goes and your rudeness stays.
Can’t you find other means to make money?
You’re a big nuisance, and it’s not funny!
I don’t want to buy what you have for sale.
If you call back again, I’ll kick your tail!...

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Out of Area
Was on the caller ID
I wonder which telemarketer
It can be

It was for children
Who were in need
Fro fallen sheriffs
Was they're plead

$25, $40, $50
What would suit you best?
I told her send the kids to me
I'll take care of the rest

She paused. I said, "I have...

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A Solution to Telemarketers That Actually Works

By Elton Camp

Those of you who are regular readers will find this different from anything I’ve published before.  It’s not a poem and not a prose article that I have attempted to make interesting and to polish. ...

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I'm still waiting for my first automated rifling phone call,
Scripted to begin:

Hello Gerald Oliver Dillenbeck!
What would you like to health invest in this wealthy day?

So I could answer with
Compassion, even for telemarketers
of narcissistic death technologies.

I'm still waiting for Donald John's first non-automated
non-violent internal recall:

Hello Donald...

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i have no one to fight with
so i call back telemarketers
hoping they won't hang up
when i start talking ****.
 
i miss you.
i stay in my bed,
stay in my head,
stay in my bed
just one more day,
i swear....

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I've never learned to change a tire.
It's not a skill I wish to acquire.
If stuck I'm always going to hire..
Also, can't change my car's oil,
perhaps I was a bit spoiled.
Cooking I botch, even with foil..
Couldn't dance til I took aerobics.
I've always been math a phobic.
Don't...

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