Best Tamara Poems


For Tamara, Never Enough

WHERE ARE YOU WHY CAN'T I FIND YOU
WHY DID YOU LEAVE  WAS IT ALL TRUE
YOUR SMILE, YOUR LAUGH, YOUR SPARKLING EYES
 NEVER COULD HIDE YOUR DISGUISE
DON'T YOU KNOW YOU WERE A STAR
WE ALL KNEW THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE
AND IS THAT WHY YOU WENT TOO FAR

NEVER ENOUGH, NEVER ENOUGH,
CAN'T GET ENOUGH, WHATEVER IT IS
NEVER ENOUGH, CAN'T GET ENOUGH

SUDDENLY EVERYTHINGS UNCLEAR
AND I'M SO SAD THAT YOU'RE NOT HERE
THOUGH YOU'VE GONE THE FEELINGS STAY
ISN'T IT STRANGE THAT LIFE'S THAT WAY
YOU NEVER REALLY SAID GOOD BYE
AND I'LL ALWAYS WONDER WHY

NEVER ENOUGH, NEVER ENOUGH 
WHAT EVER IT IS, CAN'T GET ENOUGH

IT'S DEATH'S REVENGE THAT LIFE GOES ON
AND MEMORIES LINGER THOUGH YOU'RE GONE
SHOULD WE BE GRATEFUL AFTER ALL
IS LITTLE BETTER THAN NONE AT ALL
NEVER ENOUGH, CAN'T GET ENOUGH
WHATEVER IT IS, CAN'T GET ENOUGH

IS IT JUST AS WELL YOU GONE
DID YOU THINK YOUR LOVE WAS WRONG
FORBIDDEN FRUIT IS ALWAYS SWEET
BUT NOT ENOUGH TO FEEL COMPLETE
WHATEVER IT IS, NEVER ENOUGH
EXCEPT FOR JUDGEMENTS, OH SO TOUGH

I SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE ONE TO GO
SAVING YOU FROM WHAT YOU KNOW
I DIDN'T CARE AS MUCH AS YOU
FOR WHAT WAS SAID OF WHAT YOU DO
AND HOW I WISH THAT YOUR LAST THOUGHT
GAVE YOU ALL THE PEACE YOU SOUGHT

AND THOUGH YOU'VE LEFT THIS MORTAL PLAIN
I HAVE NO DOUBT WE'LL MEET AGAIN
SURELY THERE MUST BE A PLACE
SOMEWHERE THIS COSMOS HAS THE SPACE
WHERE IN ENOUGH WILL BE ENOUGH
WHATEVER YOU NEED WILL BE ENOUGH
ENOUGH WILL ALWAYS BE ENOUGH

Reflections In the Mirror

Age 6…..	Passing the mirror, 
	she pulls at her cheeks, 
       	sticks out her tongue—
       	blonde ringlets encircle 
                a freckled face.

13…..	The mirror beckons—
                She stops to preen,
                hating wavy hair 
                that tumbles into her eyes…
                She wonders, “Am I pretty?”

18…..	A young lady, 
                ready to meet life’s challenges
                reflected now— 
                Anxious to leave home,
                and parent rules.

24…..	A bride in white,
                smiling at  her reflection 
                in the mirror—
                Mother, in the doorway,
                proudly holds her veil. 

30…..	Carpooling, PTA, 
                soccer games, late dinners—
                this is her world…
                No time to fret over
                crow’s feet in the mirror. 

40…..	Does life begin at 40?
	The mirror doesn’t lie…
                Maturity shows in her face.
	Was ‘Self’ lost between 
	motherhood and mid-life?

50…..	She discovers his affair…
	Tearfully calls Mom—
	Can she forgive?
	Out of shape, distraught,
	she sobs in front of the mirror.

60…..        Freedom, a time to just BE!
	Comfortable in her own skin—
                with time to pursue 
                her own wants and needs.
	Life is good!

70…..	Passing the hall mirror
                in her usual flurry,
	she glimpses her likeness,
	suddenly realizing—
 	she’s the image of her mother.

	         Tamara Hillman
                              ©2006

A Soldier's Christmas Wish

This year, at the holidays
of course, I miss home,
surrounded by sand dunes,
and Iraqi mosque-domes.

But I willingly came
to guard against fear—
not let terrorist conquer
everything I hold dear. 

I know my mom worries
about me over here
away from family, 
and good Christmas cheer.

And while I do miss
the fun and the fare,
I know I am fighting
for reasons most share— 

For Freedom, for Justice,
for our forefather’s plan,
for choices—God-given,
to every man. 

And for all you protester 
in the streets of your city,
looking upon me 
with hatred and pity,

I’m fighting for you 
to have that skewed right
to act like a fool—
burn our flag in plain sight,

For our children to prosper
without boot in their back,
and patriots guiding them,
to stay on the right track!

It’s not just our training,
but a true state of mind—
to be honest and faithful,
and love all mankind. 

I’d gladly lay down
all I can give—
my life and my soul
so that others may live.

And to let every man pray 
to the God he sees fit,
tho, I may not agree,
he’s entitled to it.

My sons and my daughters
may not know it yet,
but I fight for their future,
and have no regret.

So celebrate Christmas 
in your own merry way,
and please send a prayer
we’ll come home one day—

When this war is over,
we’ve finally won,
we’ve conquered the terrorists—
sent ‘em all on the run.

Americas worth it—
all this sacrifice,
and, Mom, don’t you worry
‘cause I wouldn’t think twice.

I’d do it again—
even die in the sand
for Freedom and Liberty,
for we MUST take a stand. 

“Merry Christmas—Blessed New Year,”
to all, I now say,
and, “Thank you, dear Jesus— 
have a Happy Birthday!”


           Tamara Hillman
                 ©2010


Dad-Blame Politicians!

An ol’ cowboy once told me,
“Son, keep yor’ Saddle straight—
cinched up tight ‘n squared away,
an’ don’t depend on fate.

For if yor’ a straight shooter,
yor’ life will be real tame.
A handshake will be good ‘nough
ta trust yor’ family name.”

Now, I went along believin’ 
the whole world thought like that,
but fifty years have come ‘n gone
with politicians gettin’ fat!

They get upon that barren stump,
an’ swear to make things right,
but what I know ‘bout them folks,
makes me lose sleep at night.

Empty promises an’ shoutin’
‘bout things they’re gonna CHANGE—
folks aren’t really thinkin’
how their life—they’ll rearrange.

It’s all about the poor folks,
minorities ‘n such—
money from the rich guy,
an’ taxes that ain’t much.

But when I get ta figurin’
what will happen later on,
like when factories an’ plants close,
an’ rich guys are all gone—

Who’s gonna pay the wages
to feed my kids and ma?
I ain’t forgot DEPRESSION times,
an’ anguish that I saw.

An’ derned if I can figure out
why some folks are on the DOLE—
Could it be a case a LAZY,
an’ a life without no goal? 

If no one in DC’s lyin’,
an’ the old ways never was,
I guess I’d give ‘em latitude
in their promises an’ buzz.  

But I been ‘round just long enough 
to know what’s right ‘n wrong—
an’ I ain’t taken in so much,
nor followin’ the throng.

There’s one more thing I gotta say
‘bout EVIL in this world,
“Ya don’t kill a grizzly with sweet talk,
an’ screamin’ like a girl.”

Men fought an’ died to keep us safe, 
an’ let our FREEDOM ring—
that there’s the tune I’m followin’—
the anthem that I'll sing!


  Tamara Hillman
        ©2008

To Reserved

Such a glorious grace of diva
Limitless is her divine aura

Poets compete to verse on her
For she is a presiding Lord of flora

A beauty with brains in tons
Besides being Lord Goddess Arora

Blue gets fixed precisely such
As her drape is like anaphora

Who is she-the enchanting one!
Of course it’s hypophora

Is she a seductress or temptress!
I am sure not less than Tamara

Winsome mien and gorgeous grin
Looks just stunning in coat angora

Wherever she is my lady luck
May she’s all laurels like Laura

A super woman so beautiful
And enamouring in this era..!!

Today and Tamara

I didn't see Tamara today
But I may see Tamara tomorrow.


See Her

I didn't see Tamara today
But I may see Tamara tomorrow.

Shame of Silence

In the year, nineteen an’ thirty-nine, 
in a small town that seemed not to care,
a little girl tried her very best
to dress well, and groom her dark hair.
She’d fight for her life—whatever it took,
an’ survive her father so cruel,
her heart would stay strong , she’d try hard to belong
in this town, and much harder—in school.

Her mama had passed on to Heaven—
five years since she’d  breathed her last breath…
Daddy had tried to hide how he cried,
but then chose to live life in the past.
He drank every day of the week then,
and worked—but seldom, at most.
His life seemed meaningless—useless,
lacking life goals he might boast.

Food was quite scarce in the cupboards,
and her thin arms and legs bore the tale
of bruises and stripes from the whippings
she received every week without fail.
She was only a girl in the fourth grade
but her will and good marks got her thru’—
nobody would come to her rescue,
in those days—t’was the wrong thing to do.

Her dresses were hand-me-down clothing
with ties hanging loose in the back—
bright calico colors were faded
but worn proud no matter their lack.
She tried hard to comb her long tresses
and bathe whenever she could,
but water was heated on a potbellied stove,
and Dad wouldn’t chopped any wood.

The house, feeling cold and so lonely,
was never fresh cleaned as before,
looking neglected and run down—
crooked shutters and broken screen door. 
Kids teased her at school on the playground,
and shunned her when seen about town.
Her soul was burdened with sorrow,
and her eyes looked sad-blue tho’ dark brown.

Suspicion and rumors abounded
but folks minded their business back then—
they stayed out of another man’s family
no matter his obvious sin.
She struggled each day in her hard life,
making plans for a future to live
but fate was cruel and decisive— 
too soon, she had no more to give…

The town had just turned a blind eye—
neglected to care for this child,
protect the poor girl who lived in their midst,
and was known to be quite meek and mild.
Now, a grave lies stark—unattended,
her birth date and death carved in stone—
murdered by her drunken father, 
ignored by a town—left alone.

(dedicated to Donna who survived abuse)

              Tamara Hillman
                    ©2007

First Snow

The signs are all around me—
skies are suddenly gray-white,
and I smell snow is coming,
maybe on this very night…

************************

What is this ambiance of awe
when viewing those first flakes
swirling softly t’ward the earth—
a white blanket soon to make?

It’s not as tho’, these many years,
I’ve not witnessed this same scene—
snow piling high on field and trees,
and grass no longer green.

There is no explanation
for the pleasure I now feel
as I listen to this old house creak,
and think it no big deal.

The warmth and coziness inside
is multiplied ten-fold,
and I treasure it above those things
bought with purest gold.

Each flake serves such purpose
as it tumbles to the ground
covering seeds and crops to yield
while making nary a sound.

Protection from the temperatures
dipping way down low—
snow insulating ground from frost
spread liberally e’re it goes.

And I, like many others,
who endure long months of snow,
get weary of it later on
when it curtails where I go.

But oh, thru’ frosted window pane
reflecting fireplace glow,
it fills my heart with wonder,
as I welcome the first snow.


Tamara Hillman
©2011

Quddrillon-Part Ii

This is Part-II

Yes, I tell the truth even if you throw stones, but I have to keep my headgear clean. I am going to Princess Anne’s marriage. Princess Anne, you know, the queen of Liechtenstein had chosen her as his son’s bride, you say braid, yes, and the Queen has a braid already. She wants a bride for his son. I am going to join the party. The King of Tamara has sent me personal request, though he is more interested in my quddrillon. But please let me go, hoho, don’t cringe away from my quddrillon. Sometimes it bites. It depends on its mood. And its mood depends on the Grousimeter. Do you all tell me to explain Grousimeter? Are you all fools? I have no time. I have to go to Azerbaijan to meet the prince of Blumenstein. My quddrillon will read his horoscope, a better word than horrorscope. He will make a journey to Spinx to learn Bordeology at the cue of quddrillon’s double ffrump; yes it has Pfeiffer Syndrome since early quddrillonhood. It was treated with Axpiridin. Everything had gone excepting double ffrump. It has made him professionally ahead of other quddthings. Quit. Quip.Quit.Quip....




END









© RAJAT KANTI CHAKRABARTY
17 October 2014 09:47:00 (IST)

Night of Wolves

In days of old, when nights grew cold,
men told a dreadful tale
of  Trapper Jim—how they buried him
on a night the wolves did wail.

It seems at the time, Jim was checking his line,
and stopped to camp for the night—
He heard a sound as wolves gathered round
which gave him an awful fright.

His horse and mule were no one’s fool—
they whinnied and brayed at the moon
for they knew their fate, it was much too late,
they would all be devoured soon.

There was nowhere to run in the midnight sun,
escape was the man’s one desire— 
Like ghosts in the night, wolves sprang and took flight
as their shadows danced in the fire.

He pulled up his rifle, but nary a trifle
would be left of him there alone—
His friends would find him, the man they called Jim,
just a hank of hair and a bone.  

Now, no one can say what happened that day
as the trapper knelt there in the dark,
but men say today, it happened that way,
and the tale is true—not a lark.

And they tell of wolves with cloven hooves
that prowl and chase in a pack,
of forbidden grounds where devilish sounds
are heard if you turn your back.

The story is clear if you’ll just lend an ear
to the tale of Trapper Jim’s fate—
Don’t tramp on his grave, nor pretend to be brave,
or you’ll find it might be too late.

    Tamara Hillman
            ©2007

Scars

Wounded by the words of hate 
For you to change I will not wait 
I guess I was the one you didn't need 
Too blinded by your ego and greed 

Its the same thing with all you guys 
Filling my head with all your lies 
Telling myself that all is well 
While words were said that bite and yell 

You never hit me; you wouldn't dare 
But you left scars if you care 
Scars that constantly try to hide 
Scars that are forever burned inside 

The days I'm unhappy to be alive 
Are days when thoughts of you arrive 
Days when i pull my hair and yell 
Knowing, of course, nothings well 

A new idea like smoking pot 
Brings my mind to other thoughts 
Scars that are forever burned inside 
Bring thoughts and attempts of suicide 

Your memories have made me insane 
Constant thoughts and constant pain 
From memories of you I cannot hide 
Bringing scars to the outside 

Knowing of course nothings well 
An apology you came to tell 
But wounded by the words of hate 
A sorry from you came too late. 

All this time you always knew 
Haunting you what i went through 
Memories of my awful life will burn inside 
Until you drive yourself to suicide 

Two lives filled with scars and hate 
Was it chance, or was it fate 
At least the pain and wounds are no more 
Two lives ended ends a war.

_By Tamara Brown_

The Depraved

dont understand 
and cant stand 
cruel hearts 
and for the most part 
dont care too 
im not like you 
dont miscontrue 
the way i feel 
to be real mean 
cuz i mean, look 
u stay a closed book 
take a look at yourself 
its unhealthy to bottle up inside 
and hide from everyone 
you gotta outrun your fears 
years coulda been saved 
tears coulda been saved 
depraved minded all this time 
not thinking it a crime 
to hurt those around you 
but its true that indeed 
that the innocent bleed 
at your feet 
defeated and breathless 
hopeless and lost 
at the cost of what? 
your pleasure? 
there is no measure 
of how digusted i am 
and i am disgusted 
at the very least 
at how you feast 
on others' pain 
and embarrassment 
whether thats how you vent or not 
you think your a big shot 
taking cheap shots 
bullying your way thru life 
well you feel good? 
you feel empowered?? 
Well all i see 
is a hopeless weak coward.

Tamara Brown 
Feb 3, 2011

Unlasting

I feel 
the pain 
of absent truths 
the proof 
is in my actions. 
The lack of feelings 
I'm dealing with 
make me realize 
theres only a fraction 
of happiness. 
but I want it all 
cuz I recall 
the better days, 
but that was a ways 
away. 
My thirst is profuse 
which the use of water 
cannot dilute. 
I'm voracious 
but my hunger 
is tenacious 
and tough. 
Bread alone 
is not enough. 
You knew, 
I knew, 
we all knew 
the truth. 
The proof 
of unlasting happiness 
is evident 
and I've spent 
just about 
enough time 
trying 
to proove otherwise. 
My cries 
overpower 
my hour 
of worldly happiness. 
I guess I feel 
fed up. 
times up 
im done. 

-Tamara Brown
Jan 1, 2011

Your Turn

The clouds are moving away
The race is almost over
I willingly kicked the pride away
There's no more time to hover
When the elements are on your side
We've swam across the tide
Relax, and breathe deep for the time is now

Look back and look again at the Sahara
\Which once stood very dry
When there was no one called Tamara
Your eyes surely will not lie
The Sahara is now evergreen
The love is old but pristine
Relax, and breathe deep for the time is now

I've done my part
Drawn the curtains to expose the light
I've kept evil ones apart
Kept the beautiful things in sight 
It's time to make your love tangible 
And stop repressing
So we can both stop distressing
It's time you exposed all the love
God gifted us from above
Relax, and breathe deep for the time is now
To tell me love me too!

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