Best Swedes Poems
Absurd situations amuse me; they get written into poems.
Foolish generalizations about groups of people infuriate me;
they also get written into poems.
All Irish, all whites, all English, all red-heads, there is no all.
It makes not a whit of sense.
But the one thing that has gotten my goat faster than any other thing?
“All women over forty are dried up.” Yes, I know. It is crazy, but I heard it.
When I was forty-four, twenty-two years ago, and it still irritates me.
When I think of it, which is not often, I relish in the thought that the man who used it is incarcerated now, using all kinds of other silly sayings,
that probably get him whooped daily.
He loved to generalize groups of people. “All men in their twenties,
all Swedes, all people who wear overalls, all women who wear gloves…”
I soak myself in friendly waters, not worrying about this stuff usually.
Tonight I slathered my worn-out self in a luxurious lavender bath when I thought of it again.
It is weird how the most random stupid things will pop into your head, irritating you at odd times.
Categories:
swedes, age, bullying, conflict, hello,
Form:
Light Verse
White stars, red and white stripes.
Blue for loyalty.
Waving in the wind, instilling pride.
Reminding us of pledge.
Apple pie, Chevrolet, John Wayne.
Viet Nam, Gulf War,
Freedom of speech, freedom riders,
Free to think, free to be the best we can be.
Texas, California, Iowa, from sea to shining me.
State pride, rawhide, courageous side.
A cultural mix unheard of before the Pilgrims landed, and the Natives
Took pity and helped them live.
Thanksgiving, 4th of July, Veterans of Foreign Wars,
Germans, French, Italians, Scots, Swedes, African Americans.
All Americans, all united in that.
911 Hero pride.
Sacrifices. Pride to all of us, they were Americans.
All for one, a nation under God, my Country Tis of Thee
8/27/2018 My Country Tis of Thee Contest Sponsor: Brahn Bailey
Categories:
swedes, patriotic, tribute,
Form:
Free verse
Americans come by the clock
A British lass just hikes her frock
The French love a tongue
The Swedes like well-hung
But Left or Right Thai knows Bangkok!
Categories:
swedes, humorous,
Form:
Limerick
Dad is out back,
speaking to his swedes and turnips.
He only grows tubers, root vegetables,
that I sullenly refuse to eat.
There is one flower
a Passionflower, 'Passiflora Incarnate'
that clings to the garden fence.
I could not see any passion in it,
until mum showed me
the creamy crucifix within
the blue and white corona.
Dad belly laughs
as mum, showing me,
piously makes the sign of the cross.
Dad is digging up a real beauty,
that's what he called it,
a 'real beauty',
a soil crusted cannonball,
the monstrous offspring
of a cabbage and a turnip.
He was not a religious man,
but he did believe fervently,
in those strange passions
some have
for cabbage soup
and mashed turnip.
Categories:
swedes, poetry,
Form:
Free verse
Alphabet soup, homemade, here's how
Begin the dish with alphabet pasta and homemade chicken broth
Coriander is next, chopped finely and bruised in cloth
Dice some carrots and parsnips, add chopped swedes as well
Endives and onions tickle the taste buds, create aroma for smell
Fennel bulbs and feathery fronds add pique and intrigue
Grate some Parmesan, add mace and cumin, for spicy blitzkrieg
Heat on high to just before boiling, then reduce heat and simmer gently on low
Insert a spoon and swirl to see perchance what the letters spell out on surface floe
'Just' eat the better half of all meals on your plate
'Keep' snacks at bay by banning from pantry, making temptation abate
'Lessen' you loaf time by walking, running, cycling an hour each day
'Make' wholesome meals, with whole fresh foods and vegetable buffet
'No' more quick junk food fixes to cure feeling-down and depressed
'Or' between meal snacks when hunger pangs bite and diet gets stressed
'Portion' control is far easier that counting calories each time you eat
'Quell' your calories by skipping lunch or one other meal, and each day repeat
'Regular' fasting far easier than eating dietary greens and stuff with no appeal
'Sociably' better, sharing main meal with family, friends, bypassing diet exclusion ordeal
'To' make sure you keep on track to lose weight, eating less and keeping slim
'United' plan and pledge to make durable lifestyle changes to become terrific and trim
'Verily' to keep to your plan, to keep from being beaten
'Waiting' no more to make it happen
'Xeroxed' copies of Mediterranean Diet Recipes at the ready
'Yearning' to be slim and terrific with weight steady
'Zapping' through each day with gusto
Categories:
swedes, health,
Form:
Rhyme
PARALLEL ARE THE RAILS
(PRE-VERSE 1)
Feeling all alone
Cast away like a stone
Few friends what I got
True friends can’t be bought.
(VERSE 1)
Living is a joke
Think I’m about to choke.
Lookin’ at you
Lookin’ at me
Mirror is true (but the reflection is cracked)
False truths won’t set you free.
(Pre-Chorus)
I got my time
I got my rhyme
Beggin’ for a dime
Beggin’ for your time
(Chorus)
Bittersweet is the love (Sweeter than the lime)
Smellin’ like a clove
Burnt up in a stove
Rotting in a grove
Shrapnel of hardened nails
Pouring down like the rain
Storing away the parlayed pain
Parallel are the rails
Parallel are the rails
Parallel are the rails
Parallel are the rails
Parallel are the rails
(PRE-VERSE 2)
Heavy is the stone
When you’re all alone
Many friends were not what I thought
False friends are easily bought
(VERSE 2)
Drowning in the smoke
Deception is no joke
Reflection of you
Reflection of me
Mirror is true (but the reflection is cracked)
False truths won’t set you free.
(BRIDGE)
Dreaded are my locs
Dreadful are my thoughts
Locked away in my cerebral box
Cast away like abandoned lots
Got dreadlocks down below my needs
Beatles in the sound
Help me get around
Got hair like my ancestral Swedes
Brain damaged by Floyd
Brain examined by Freud
(PRE-VERSE 3)
Can I get a fix
Feelin’ a little sick
Like when I was six
Trippin’ over a stick
People like to stare
Like I’m some disease
But, I don’t care
I do as I please
(VERSE 3)
Ridin’ on a train
Lookin’ for a change
Freedom from the chain
Leaves me feeling strange
Lookin’ a little strange
Beaten by the chain
No time for change
Ridin’ on a train
(Pre-Chorus)
I got my time
I got my rhyme
Beggin’ for a dime
Beggin’ for your time
(Chorus)
Bittersweet is the love (Sweeter than the lime)
Smellin’ like a clove
Burnt up in a stove
Rotting in a grove
Shrapnel of hardened nails
Pouring down like the rain
Storing away the parlayed pain
Parallel are the rails
Parallel are the rails
Parallel are the rails
Parallel are the rails
Parallel are the rails
Lyricists Inc.
D.A.P. / Digital Analog Productions.
David A. Porter 3/??/18
Categories:
swedes, addiction, allegory, change, dark,
Form:
Lyric
King Charles is a foolish megalomaniac.
He constantly sends his armies to the attack.
In the first few years of the eighteenth century,
Swedes have attacked Russia, Denmark, and Saxony.
Sweden exerts its regional hegemony
over the smaller states around the Baltic Sea.
Denmark was overwhelmed by the Swedish army.
We suffered defeat at the Battle of Narva.
Sweden’s military presence threatens Russia.
Charles the Twelfth and the Swedes have refused to refrain
as their forces have encroached upon our Ukraine.
I, Peter your tsar, shall lead our mother Russia.
We shall take a stand and fight at Poltava.
This is our beloved land that we must defend.
We must bring Swedish aggressiveness to an end.
This battle was fought between the Russians and Swedes during the Great Northern War in 1709. It forever changed the courses of both countries.
Categories:
swedes, history, war,
Form:
Rhyme
Saturnalia, the pagan worship of winter solstice,
the darkest tidings of the year.
The birth of our Nazarene most likely
September 29th.
Like a used car dealer rolling back the odometer,
Pope Julius I moved Christ’s birth to
December 25th
to sign up more pagans
at the darkest tidings of the year.
For this, the Puritans never celebrated Yuletide,
a pagan holiday of sin.
Still, rituals of the festive season endure.
Sitting in solemn silence on the eve of every Christmas,
the Swedes turn their TVs to Donald Duck.
So too do the Japanese eat a bucket of KFC
while the Ukrainians decorate Christmas trees with fake spider webs.
In Greenland, men serve women whale blubber
and the Catalonian’s nativity scenes always
include a bare-bottomed pooping man.
These are the darkest tidings of the year,
Christmas is incomplete without them.
These are the devotions of Noel.
Categories:
swedes, christmas, culture, funny, humor,
Form:
Free verse
NOBEL PRIZE WINNER?
Nasal, sand paper gritty voice.
Why did he win the poetry Nobel?
“The answer my friend” may be
“blowin’ in the wind.”
What were the Swedes thinking
when they voted, what were they on?.
Probably sat around
saying
“everybody must get stoned.”
Some probably opposed the vote
How could it be unanimous?
The yeas said “don’t stand in the
doorway, don’t block up the hall.”
The chair tried to contact this
great man of counterculture
poetry. No response. The notice
on his website taken down.
Surly, snarling, reclusive.
His thought might have been
“Go away from my window……
I’m not the one you need.”
Will he come to Stockholm?
Will he stay hidden?
Perhaps we should ask
Quinn the mighty Eskimo.
Categories:
swedes, music, people,
Form:
Free verse
What does it mean to me
New Jersey
It means smell and warmth
iI……. oops wrong sort of Jersey
Here we go start again …….
Was the home of the Lenape Indians
Till the Dutch and Swedes came their way
Followed by the British who named
It after a channel island off the UK
Was the home of many a battle
Including the American revolutionary war
Who tried to oust the British rabble
Not such an easy chore
New Jersey has many counties
21 was the latest score
Morris County was indeed a pleasant one
Rich in tradition and folk lore
THEN
Theirs Atlantic and Bergen, Burlington too
Camden, Cape May, Cumberland to name but a few
Essex, Gloucester and Hudson come next in line
Hunterdon, Mercer and Middlesex are doing just fine
Monmouth, Morris and Ocean is that enough
Pacific, Salem and Somerset I am now out of puff
Sussex, Union and Warren …….That is New Jersey
Categories:
swedes, places, home, home,
Form:
Rhyme
Guns in Sweden
Sweden has problems with too many guns
shoots hole in the night.
Many refugees came to Sweden, who thought
when the refugees discovered a Nordic paradise
they would become Swedes overnight.
The inhabitance of this Eden has a discriminatory heart.
The glance of an eye tells the truth.
There was a clash of culture.
People of the same philosophy likes to live close to each other,
for them, Sweden has a cold heart.
No work no education, guns are easy to buy.
I don´t know the solution
Perhaps the Nordic people, are too regimented
and it will take time to change this attitude.
Categories:
swedes, anti bullying, best friend,
Form:
Blank verse
Freedom of the Press
The hallowed freedom of the press
In the west
Doesn’t sit well in the east
when Islam is made fun of.
So leave them alone to worship
Allah their way,
Millions of backsides exposed
to an ignorant world.
We can make fun of the Germans,
the frog and sex mad Swedes
We laugh and giggle
until someone gets up and
hit the offender for going too far.
when saying someone’s mother
is a ****
Great democracy the elite tells us,
but do not go too far
and never make fun of a Jew.
Categories:
swedes, absence, angst, anxiety, assonance,
Form:
Blank verse
Uruguay 0 - France 2
Uruguay bad day
Les Bleus take total control-
France-Belgium showdown
Brazil 1 - Belgium 2
Brazil's own-goal gaffe
brilliant Belgium bests Brazil...
Belgium comes of age
Sweden 0 - England 2
Swedes hit Pickford wall
England's clean sheet victory
"...coming home" -maybe
Russia 2 (3) - Croatia 2 (4)
Russia's journey ends
Croatia show nerves of steel...
showdown with England
Categories:
swedes, emotions, england, football, international,
Form:
Senryu
SALAD SALUTE
Listen up everyone, and I mean you peas at the back:
Think you can hide in the mayonnaise?
Some of you peppers feel you are pretty hot stuff, I know;
And our cucumber friends are just way too cool dudes;
And some guys feel they are just beginners - you green onions,
All shifting places to avoid being next to the garlic.
But remember this - we stick together in this mayo,
And we’re like the Rangers - we go in first, and no one is left behind;
Not like the soup or main course,
Oozing into those warmed and ready bellies.
We hit the plates cold -
Even before the metal meets the meat.
The first forks of these people are aimed directly at us -
And they’re hungry, so expect no quarter.
Look around you : in this mixed salad
We got French beans, and jumping beans from Mexico;
We got green peas, black peas, brown rice, and white swedes -
All Americans.
Now here in the US some of you guys may have
Experienced discrimination due to color, taste, smell, or size.
But for you and me now, all that is gone.
We are moving into the shadow of the salad bowl
Where you will watch the back
Of the veg next to you, as he will watch yours:
And you won’t care what color his skin is
Or by what name he calls eggplants/aubergines.
We’re facing a tough, determined, and hungry foe -
Lets stick together.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
NOTE
Imagine a salad being addressed by its leading carrot just before the main serving occurs in a restaurant.
This light-hearted poem is obviously based on the words of a great speech by
Colonel Hal Moore, which can be heard in the movie WE WERE SOLDIERS,
and Mel Gibson does an excellent job of rendering the speech on youtube at
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A7OPPWlKV2A I recommend you to watch this inspiring two-minute speech.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Written by Sydney Peck
Categories:
swedes, parody, green,
Form:
Free verse
The hophead at the
Music festival next to me
Yells out the instruction
"Everybody shrink!"
The lead singer holds parallel
To the audience an elongated
Truncheon with a dishwashing
Glove on the end of it
A manakin dummy is tossed
Into the congregation and
It crowdsurfs it's way back
Tossed out the exit
'Insistent savagery'
The 1956 edition
Of Encyclopaedia Britannica
Describes rock 'n' roll
Seagull Screaming Kiss Her Kiss Her
Mass of the Fermenting Dregs
Abingdon Boys School
North Korea Loves John Kerry
Cutlery
The Bad Swedes
Deathwasps Stinging My Brain
I Am the Hottest Part of Hell
It's exhausting picking
A band name
Categories:
swedes, humor, humorous,
Form:
Free verse